DEAR ABBY: I've been dating a married man for the last three years, and everything was great. We were attached at the hip and inseparable. I thought we had something special going.

His wife abandoned him and their two children for more than a year, and he didn't know anything about raising kids, so I stepped in to help. It was great. They were just like my own. I was finally happy. I had the life I wanted. He even met with a lawyer to get a divorce.

Suddenly he announced he's letting her come back because she has nowhere to go. I am devastated. Ever since her return, she has made his life a living hell. He tells everyone -- including her -- how miserable he is, and she does the same thing.

Why won't he get a divorce? Should I wait for him? Did he ever really love me? -- LOVING LADY IN TEXAS

DEAR LOVING LADY: There could be any number of reasons why he won't divorce his wife. He may feel that, miserable as he is, a divorce would be too expensive. Or he may be trying to keep the family together "for the sake of the kids." Or he may even love her.

That she is making his life a "living hell" is a problem of his own making. Please, for the sake of your own mental health, quit making it yours. Did he ever really love you? I can't answer that and neither can you. He certainly isn't acting like someone who loves you.

Gather your strength and jump off the treadmill. It's time to go on with your life.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are going to be first-time parents in a few months, and this will be the first grandchild on both sides of the family (and the first baby in almost 18 years). We are excited to share this experience with them. However, I have some concerns about after the baby is born.

I already deal with anxiety, and I have strict "rules" that I would like to be followed. For example, no kissing my baby's face, no posting photos on social media, etc. How can I get my wishes across to my family without sounding like a control freak? I worry that they won't respect them and say I'm overthinking everything. Any advice is appreciated. -- FIRST-TIME PARENT IN NEW YORK

DEAR FIRST-TIME PARENT: Your life is in transition, and your concerns are understandable. Remember, you are the parent. If you prefer your baby not be smothered with kisses, you are within your rights to say so. However, as long as your relatives are not sick and wash their hands well before touching your newborn, there shouldn't be a problem. After three months, your baby's underdeveloped immune system should be stronger.

If you haven't already discussed this with your pediatrician, schedule an appointment. Not only will you find it educational, it may put some of your fears to rest.

As to your little one's image being posted online, every family has their own comfort level. Explain your concerns, and if the grands don't cooperate, make them surrender their cellphones when they visit.

DEAR ABBY: After I ended a 20-year marriage, I took some time off from relationships and am now back in the dating world. My ex-husband and I never had children.

I recently met a man with two teenagers. He says I am "detached" from children. I am not detached! I just never had experience with them. How do I proceed with this relationship since his kids are very dear to him? -- NOT DETACHED

DEAR NOT DETACHED: This man's offspring are no longer "children." They are teenagers, and teens can be complicated. Reach out to them the way you would anyone of any age. Be friendly and show them you are interested in them. If they have a mother in the picture, do not try to "mother" them. See if you share any common interests (sports, music, fashion, etc.), resist the urge to lecture them, and be a good listener.

DEAR ABBY: Back around 1987, a girl asked me to take her to her high school prom. I was several years older, didn't know her well and wanted to say no but couldn't. In the end I stood her up. I don't even remember her name. She worked at a grocery store with my brother.

That was more than 30 years ago. I am married now and have two fine children. I was recently asked what my biggest regret is, and I said standing her up. Not one week has gone by in the last 30 years that I haven't thought about her and wished I could find her and tell her how truly sorry I am.

It's funny. Although I can't remember her name, there's no one from my past that I have thought about more than her. I would give anything to find her and apologize. It haunts me. Any suggestions? -- BIGGEST REGRET IN THE SOUTH

DEAR BIGGEST REGRET: What you did to that girl was brutal. Because it's not possible for you to directly offer the apology she deserves, concentrate harder on the present and always try to treat everyone with kindness and sensitivity.

DEAR ABBY: I'd like advice on how to handle a problem that crops up every time family members invite me out to a dinner they are paying for.

I know the rule of etiquette is to order an item that's the same or less than what the host is ordering, but I am often asked to order first. This means I have no idea what the payer's meal will cost. If it means ordering something on the menu other than what I'd rather have -- a burger instead of a steak -- in that case, should I offer to pay for my own meal? What if they won't hear of taking any money from me? Can I still order the steak since my offer to pay was refused? -- LIKES TO FOLLOW THE RULES

DEAR LIKES: A way to get around ordering first might be to say, "I haven't decided yet. I'd like to hear what the others are ordering." However, if you would be uncomfortable doing that, and your hosts won't let you have a separate check, be a gracious guest and enjoy every bite of your steak dinner.

DEAR ABBY: My husband recently started a new job. He works with a bunch of women, which is a switch from what I'm used to since all his previous jobs were with all men.

These women "adore" him, and I don't think most are a threat, but two of them are very flirtatious, although he's not one to notice that stuff. He says they act like that with everyone, but I have tried to explain there are boundaries of what's acceptable for how a woman acts toward a married man. He thinks I'm overreacting and they don't mean anything, but they treat me differently when he's not around.

I am confident he wouldn't flirt back, but they seem to take his kindness as "accepting" their behavior. I don't want them to think he thinks it's OK, but he doesn't want to be rude since they all work together. What can be done, and how can I get him to see what I see? Am I overreacting? -- STUCK BETWEEN QUIET OR CONFRONTING

DEAR STUCK: You and your husband will be a lot happier if you stop obsessing about his work environment. Nowhere in your letter did you state that your husband has been unfaithful.

It would be extremely inappropriate for you to confront his co-workers. If their "adoration" gets to the point where he becomes uncomfortable, he can either tell them enough is enough or enlist the help of his supervisor or his boss.

DEAR ABBY: I was lunching with a group of women when the waiter walked up and addressed us as "you guys." Men would be highly offended if a waiter approached a table of men and referred to them as "you ladies." To me, there needs to be another way of addressing women that does not insult them and expect it to be accepted. It would have been just as easy to say, "What can I do for you ladies today?" or something of that nature.

One of the women at our table informed the waiter that we were a group of women, not men. Was she right to correct him? -- PATSY IN ALABAMA

DEAR PATSY: The use of the word "guys" is decidedly casual. I'm sure your server -- who I'll bet was a young person -- didn't intend to insult anyone when he addressed your group as "you guys." While I would not have been offended, clearly your tablemate was. And because she was offended, she was right to speak up -- as long as she did it in a way that didn't embarrass the server.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of 11 years has a 16-year-old son from a previous relationship. Yesterday his son had a job interview, and not only did my boyfriend accompany him into the interview, he also answered the questions for his son. I tried to explain to him that parents don't do that, but he thinks I am just being critical. Doesn't it look bad if parents go along into interviews? -- BAFFLED IN THE EAST

DEAR BAFFLED: It not only looks bad, it is bad. It looks terrible! Your boyfriend is a helicopter parent, and as well-meaning as he may be, he is doing his son no favors. I would be shocked if the boy was hired after that interview.