DEAR ABBY: I've been separated from my wife for about four years, at her request. It was justified. I wasn't the best husband. I wasn't abusive, but I was sad and feeling sorry for myself, like now.

I took her for granted and didn't show her the affection she deserved, but I have been going to therapy to work through issues that I had suppressed for decades that contributed to me being a bad husband. I wanted to try counseling with her, but she was done and refused, which I'm still saddened by.

As of today, she has a new boyfriend but still hasn't filed for divorce. I'm struggling because she and her new boyfriend hang out with people I grew up with. It's my own hang-up, I know, but it makes me feel embarrassed and like I can never hang out with my friends again. I get upset when I see posts on Facebook with her and her boyfriend that my family have added heart emojis or nice comments to.

Am I wrong for feeling betrayed in some way? Is my estranged wife belittling me by not filing for divorce and hanging out with my friends and a new boyfriend? Are my friends and family betraying me by being friends with them? -- BROKEN BEYOND REPAIR

DEAR BROKEN: Marriages end for many reasons. If I read your letter correctly, your wife left because she could no longer cope with someone who was in a chronic state of depression, not because you were a "bad husband" or had some flaw in your character.

You are doing your best to improve your mental state, and for that I applaud you. You should not feel embarrassed or humiliated because she has found a new relationship. Please discuss these feelings with your therapist so you can move beyond them.

It may also be time to take the initiative and file for the divorce. Quit avoiding your longtime friends. If you haven't started dating, some of them may know women to introduce you to. And because posts on the internet about your almost-ex and her boyfriend cause you pain, block or delete them rather than obsess.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend has an 8-year-old daughter who lives with us part time. Sometimes I watch her when her dad is out running errands or working.

I'll be perfectly honest. There are times she acts like an entitled, spoiled brat. She's rude and disrespectful, and when I ask her to do something, she doesn't always do it. I can't take it anymore.

I know I'm not her biological mom, but I will not continue to tolerate her behavior and attitude. Although I have spoken with her dad about it, he has done nothing to correct the problem. Please tell me what to do. -- FRUSTRATED "STEPMOM"

DEAR FRUSTRATED: The next time you are asked to watch your boyfriend's daughter, decline and clearly state the reason why. Perhaps when it becomes inconvenient for him, he will assert himself, act like a parent and insist that his daughter behave respectfully. If not, you may have to rethink the relationship.

DEAR ABBY: I have something to say about "Still Fun in the South" (Jan. 4) and her complaint that single middle-aged men only look for younger women, instead of women their age. I am a 53-year-old widower. I have a six-figure income. I'm smart, healthy, easygoing and have a good life with many hobbies and interests.

On multiple dating apps, I have swiped right on dozens of women my age. My main criteria were that they weren't fanatically religious or rabidly political. Would you like to know how many swipe rights I received in return? Not one! I feel middle-aged women are far more picky than their younger counterparts, which is why I'm currently in a relationship with a woman in her mid-30s. I don't pursue younger women -- they pursue me while the women around my age couldn't be bothered.

I realize my dating experience is anecdotal, and there are extenuating circumstances (COVID), but I don't like being lumped into a category and complained about as if middle-aged women share none of the responsibility.

I want to tell "Still Fun" that if she wants a relationship with someone her age, she needs to be a little less judgmental and picky and give those middle-aged men who actually show an interest a chance. She might find there's more to them than appears in a dating profile. -- SEASONED IN SALT LAKE CITY

DEAR SEASONED: The responders to "Still Fun's" letter pointed out the advantages AND disadvantages of dating people younger, older and the same age. But the common denominator for successful dating, according to those readers, is to emphasize what you are happy about in your life and describe your passions and interests. Someone who exudes confidence, a love of life and who doesn't come across as desperate for a permanent move-in partner can do very well.

DEAR ABBY: Our daughter is engaged to the most wonderful young man. We all got along very well, including his parents with us. After one discussion about politics, they realized we're on opposite sides of the spectrum and everything changed. They no longer call, or they hesitate to answer our calls.

We want to make things better because our daughter is deeply in love with their son, and she loves his parents. Could you please provide some suggestions? -- OOPS! IN VIRGINIA

DEAR OOPS!: I can try, but there are no guarantees. While you and the other set of parents may disagree about solutions to the problems in this country, on one subject you should all be unified. That subject is wanting the happiness of your children and grandchildren when you are blessed with them. For this reason, make an agreement to put aside political differences, never again discuss them and work cooperatively together toward your mutual goal. However, if they cannot agree, you and your husband must accept that there may be a strain in your relationship until time can heal the breach.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in my late 20s, married and happily child-free. My best friend recently became pregnant, and I am having a hard time with it. I don't enjoy children, and it feels like I am losing my best friend. All she wants to talk about is the baby. I've tried hinting that I'll be here when she and her husband need a break from being "Mom and Dad," but she continues to talk on and on about the all-consuming baby.

I know this is a big change and a huge part of her life, but I also know she has plenty of other support for this child. I would hope she realizes that I do not care for children or wish to be around them. How can I let her know -- without offending her -- that the last thing I want to hear about are diapers and prams? -- CHILD-FREE IN WISCONSIN

DEAR CHILD-FREE: I am sorry you feel so negative about the topics of babies and children, because your intolerance will eventually isolate you from friends and peers. If you voice what you are thinking, you will alienate your best friend, who is rightly thrilled to be embarking on the adventure of parenthood.

Because her talk about babies, diapers and the process she's going through affects you like nails on a chalkboard, limit the conversations and visits you have with her. Do not write her off, however, because it is possible that in time she will be reaching out to you, craving conversation that goes beyond the playpen.

DEAR ABBY: As the pandemic has forced many to work remotely, I feel certain I'm not the only person with this dilemma. I have been working from home since last March. My fiance, on the other hand, has a manual labor job in a skilled trade. Abby, it seems like every other day he picks a fight with me because he thinks I should have the house clean, chores done and dinner cooked when he returns from work, despite the fact that I have been working at my job all day.

He equates my being home to me being able to take care of all the chores. He criticizes me and calls me lazy and other names all the time. Regardless of what he thinks, I have a demanding job in an IT field, which is no less demanding because I'm home. It involves numerous conference calls all day.

I have an opportunity now where some of us can come back to the office, but because I have an autoimmune disease, I'm hesitant. Should I go back to the office to keep the peace or remain working from home, which I actually enjoy? I have talked to him about this repeatedly, and it not only doesn't seem to be getting any better, it's getting worse. Your thoughts? -- TELECOMMUTING IN FLORIDA

DEAR TELECOMMUTING: Your physical health must come first. If returning to the office will endanger your health, you must stay home and protect it.

Your mental health comes next. Your fiance appears to be having a chauvinistic fever dream in which he has been transported back to the 1950s. For the last quarter of a century -- and more -- men have been helping their partners with the "chores" he's harassing you about. If he can't dig deep and find it in his heart to chip in, then for the sake of your health and your sanity, please rethink this engagement, because it is unhealthy.