DEAR ABBY: I have something to say about "Still Fun in the South" (Jan. 4) and her complaint that single middle-aged men only look for younger women, instead of women their age. I am a 53-year-old widower. I have a six-figure income. I'm smart, healthy, easygoing and have a good life with many hobbies and interests.

On multiple dating apps, I have swiped right on dozens of women my age. My main criteria were that they weren't fanatically religious or rabidly political. Would you like to know how many swipe rights I received in return? Not one! I feel middle-aged women are far more picky than their younger counterparts, which is why I'm currently in a relationship with a woman in her mid-30s. I don't pursue younger women -- they pursue me while the women around my age couldn't be bothered.

I realize my dating experience is anecdotal, and there are extenuating circumstances (COVID), but I don't like being lumped into a category and complained about as if middle-aged women share none of the responsibility.

I want to tell "Still Fun" that if she wants a relationship with someone her age, she needs to be a little less judgmental and picky and give those middle-aged men who actually show an interest a chance. She might find there's more to them than appears in a dating profile. -- SEASONED IN SALT LAKE CITY

DEAR SEASONED: The responders to "Still Fun's" letter pointed out the advantages AND disadvantages of dating people younger, older and the same age. But the common denominator for successful dating, according to those readers, is to emphasize what you are happy about in your life and describe your passions and interests. Someone who exudes confidence, a love of life and who doesn't come across as desperate for a permanent move-in partner can do very well.

DEAR ABBY: Our daughter is engaged to the most wonderful young man. We all got along very well, including his parents with us. After one discussion about politics, they realized we're on opposite sides of the spectrum and everything changed. They no longer call, or they hesitate to answer our calls.

We want to make things better because our daughter is deeply in love with their son, and she loves his parents. Could you please provide some suggestions? -- OOPS! IN VIRGINIA

DEAR OOPS!: I can try, but there are no guarantees. While you and the other set of parents may disagree about solutions to the problems in this country, on one subject you should all be unified. That subject is wanting the happiness of your children and grandchildren when you are blessed with them. For this reason, make an agreement to put aside political differences, never again discuss them and work cooperatively together toward your mutual goal. However, if they cannot agree, you and your husband must accept that there may be a strain in your relationship until time can heal the breach.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in my late 20s, married and happily child-free. My best friend recently became pregnant, and I am having a hard time with it. I don't enjoy children, and it feels like I am losing my best friend. All she wants to talk about is the baby. I've tried hinting that I'll be here when she and her husband need a break from being "Mom and Dad," but she continues to talk on and on about the all-consuming baby.

I know this is a big change and a huge part of her life, but I also know she has plenty of other support for this child. I would hope she realizes that I do not care for children or wish to be around them. How can I let her know -- without offending her -- that the last thing I want to hear about are diapers and prams? -- CHILD-FREE IN WISCONSIN

DEAR CHILD-FREE: I am sorry you feel so negative about the topics of babies and children, because your intolerance will eventually isolate you from friends and peers. If you voice what you are thinking, you will alienate your best friend, who is rightly thrilled to be embarking on the adventure of parenthood.

Because her talk about babies, diapers and the process she's going through affects you like nails on a chalkboard, limit the conversations and visits you have with her. Do not write her off, however, because it is possible that in time she will be reaching out to you, craving conversation that goes beyond the playpen.

DEAR ABBY: As the pandemic has forced many to work remotely, I feel certain I'm not the only person with this dilemma. I have been working from home since last March. My fiance, on the other hand, has a manual labor job in a skilled trade. Abby, it seems like every other day he picks a fight with me because he thinks I should have the house clean, chores done and dinner cooked when he returns from work, despite the fact that I have been working at my job all day.

He equates my being home to me being able to take care of all the chores. He criticizes me and calls me lazy and other names all the time. Regardless of what he thinks, I have a demanding job in an IT field, which is no less demanding because I'm home. It involves numerous conference calls all day.

I have an opportunity now where some of us can come back to the office, but because I have an autoimmune disease, I'm hesitant. Should I go back to the office to keep the peace or remain working from home, which I actually enjoy? I have talked to him about this repeatedly, and it not only doesn't seem to be getting any better, it's getting worse. Your thoughts? -- TELECOMMUTING IN FLORIDA

DEAR TELECOMMUTING: Your physical health must come first. If returning to the office will endanger your health, you must stay home and protect it.

Your mental health comes next. Your fiance appears to be having a chauvinistic fever dream in which he has been transported back to the 1950s. For the last quarter of a century -- and more -- men have been helping their partners with the "chores" he's harassing you about. If he can't dig deep and find it in his heart to chip in, then for the sake of your health and your sanity, please rethink this engagement, because it is unhealthy.

DEAR ABBY: I recently met a man, and I have fallen in love with him. He says he feels the same way and tells me often that I treat him better than anybody ever has.

Unfortunately, when the time came to move our relationship to an intimate level, I found my attraction to him was one-sided. When I asked him why, he said he did not find me desirable because of my weight. He also mentioned that in the past he had always dated "Barbie dolls" who did him wrong, so he decided to look for something different, and that's when he found me.

I don't understand how you can love someone and not desire them. What are your thoughts? -- ONE-SIDED IN TEXAS

DEAR ONE-SIDED: This man may love your many attributes -- intelligence, honesty, sense of humor, etc. -- but he is not IN love. If you want a romantic relationship, you need to find someone who values you for yourself -- inside and out. Give him marks for honesty and send him back to his Barbie dolls because you deserve better, and he deserves more of the same.

DEAR ABBY: While I was battling cancer, my husband vanished into thin air with all our money. It has been years now, and we finally were divorced, but I have never been able to get over what he did to me. Talking to professionals helped some, but I still wonder what happened.

We were together for 20 years. I was left in a remote part of Alaska to fend for myself when I could hardly get around after the surgery and radiation treatments. It's like he wanted me dead. How can I possibly get over what I thought was the love of my life? -- CAN'T LET GO

DEAR CAN'T LET GO: Your husband may have been the love of your life, but the love of his life was ... him. That he not only ran when the chips were down but cleaned out the bank account, leaving you battling a life-threatening illness, was beyond the pale. Why he did it was fear, weakness and lack of character.

Having prevailed over cancer and poverty, getting over your ex should be a cinch. However, finding the ability to trust again may be another matter, and no one would blame you if you couldn't do it. An important step forward might be more counseling to help you cope.

DEAR ABBY: My friend has an adult child with a drug addiction. Sometimes when we are together, this child will call begging for money. My friend gives in every time. She feels terrible about doing it but can't seem to say no. She has attended several Nar-Anon meetings, but no longer wants to go because she says it's depressing. As a friend, what's the best way to support her? -- HER CARING FRIEND

DEAR FRIEND: Although those meetings may be "depressing," they can also be enlightening if someone is open to it. Point out to your friend that even more depressing would be losing a child to addiction and knowing that she was the enabler. Then volunteer to attend meetings with your friend until she gains the strength to act responsibly.