DEAR ABBY: I recently met a man, and I have fallen in love with him. He says he feels the same way and tells me often that I treat him better than anybody ever has.

Unfortunately, when the time came to move our relationship to an intimate level, I found my attraction to him was one-sided. When I asked him why, he said he did not find me desirable because of my weight. He also mentioned that in the past he had always dated "Barbie dolls" who did him wrong, so he decided to look for something different, and that's when he found me.

I don't understand how you can love someone and not desire them. What are your thoughts? -- ONE-SIDED IN TEXAS

DEAR ONE-SIDED: This man may love your many attributes -- intelligence, honesty, sense of humor, etc. -- but he is not IN love. If you want a romantic relationship, you need to find someone who values you for yourself -- inside and out. Give him marks for honesty and send him back to his Barbie dolls because you deserve better, and he deserves more of the same.

DEAR ABBY: While I was battling cancer, my husband vanished into thin air with all our money. It has been years now, and we finally were divorced, but I have never been able to get over what he did to me. Talking to professionals helped some, but I still wonder what happened.

We were together for 20 years. I was left in a remote part of Alaska to fend for myself when I could hardly get around after the surgery and radiation treatments. It's like he wanted me dead. How can I possibly get over what I thought was the love of my life? -- CAN'T LET GO

DEAR CAN'T LET GO: Your husband may have been the love of your life, but the love of his life was ... him. That he not only ran when the chips were down but cleaned out the bank account, leaving you battling a life-threatening illness, was beyond the pale. Why he did it was fear, weakness and lack of character.

Having prevailed over cancer and poverty, getting over your ex should be a cinch. However, finding the ability to trust again may be another matter, and no one would blame you if you couldn't do it. An important step forward might be more counseling to help you cope.

DEAR ABBY: My friend has an adult child with a drug addiction. Sometimes when we are together, this child will call begging for money. My friend gives in every time. She feels terrible about doing it but can't seem to say no. She has attended several Nar-Anon meetings, but no longer wants to go because she says it's depressing. As a friend, what's the best way to support her? -- HER CARING FRIEND

DEAR FRIEND: Although those meetings may be "depressing," they can also be enlightening if someone is open to it. Point out to your friend that even more depressing would be losing a child to addiction and knowing that she was the enabler. Then volunteer to attend meetings with your friend until she gains the strength to act responsibly.

DEAR ABBY: I am a senior male. I understand I may have some beliefs that others find old-fashioned. However, I consciously try to be tolerant of others' feelings and beliefs. That said, my problem is with my younger brother, who is a homosexual. I have always tried to ignore that side of his life and, consequently, we have always had a good relationship. He lives in another state, so we only talk on the telephone.

A couple of months ago while we were talking, the subject of sexuality came up, and I told him I find the fact that he is gay "disgusting." I know it was a poor choice of words. I merely meant to say that I, myself, am and always have been totally heterosexual. I have never had any sexual interest in members of my own sex. I never meant my comment to be judgmental of my brother or anyone else.

I left several messages apologizing for anything I said that he found objectionable. Now, when I try to contact him, he doesn't answer my phone calls.

Abby, I miss my brother. I truly love him, and I don't want to lose all contact with him. If you have any advice for me, please give it to me. I'm desperate and can think of nothing I might be able to do to restore our relationship. Please help me. -- FEELS LIKE A FOOL IN WASHINGTON

DEAR FEELS LIKE: I have never understood why so many straight people spend so much time obsessing about what gay people might be doing behind closed doors. THAT, to me, is disgusting.

I'll be frank. After what you said to your brother, he would have to be a saint to forgive you. He is doing what emotionally healthy people do, erasing a negative influence from his life. You can continue trying to apologize by penning a heartfelt letter of apology and remorse, promising to never use those words again, and sending it to your brother. But if he continues to be unreceptive, you will have to live with it.

DEAR ABBY: I met a man online seven months ago. We hit it off right away. I checked to make sure he wasn't a "catfisher" and everything checked out. We talk on the phone at least twice a day, Facebook Messenger and video chat. He sent me a card for my birthday along with some money.

I have developed strong feelings for him, and he has told me he loves me. He has told me many times he wants to meet, but we couldn't do it because of the pandemic. He's a jewelry designer trying to get his business back up before he loses it. He's afraid to lose everything.

I don't know what to do. Should I keep waiting or just stay friends with him? We really care about each other, but circumstances prevent us from meeting. -- BROKENHEARTED IN NEW YORK

DEAR BROKENHEARTED: Because "circumstances" prevent you from meeting this man in person, try hard to regain your balance and stay friends. Although you think you know him, until you finally meet in person, you really don't. Even if you confirmed he works in jewelry design, he may still be hiding something from you. Often when a significant other keeps making excuses not to meet, there's a good reason for it and not always what you want to hear.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a single mom. I have a man in my life who I have been with for almost four years. He went through a bad divorce during the time we got together, and anytime I try to mention marriage in the future, he gets upset. I'm unsure what to do or how to respond anymore.

I know my kids aren't his, so he owes us nothing, but I need more stability and the assurance that if something were to happen to him, we would be OK. I'm 35 and have never had the chance to get married, only to find out that he never wants to get married. So what do I do? -- MYSTIFIED IN MINNESOTA

DEAR MYSTIFIED: Talk to your significant other. Keep the conversation calm and tell him what you wrote to me. Add to it that after four years, he should know by now what your needs are and that he can trust you -- but you need stability for your kids' sakes and your own. If he can't bring himself to make another trip to the altar, a trip to a lawyer's office might yield an agreement that meets your needs and his. However, if he refuses to consider it, then what you must do is move on.

DEAR ABBY: I attend a Bible study. The man who teaches it is very gifted, but he spends more and more time on anecdotal stories about his past in the business world. Some of us drive long distances to his class. When we broached the subject, he got an attitude. He told us to "suck it up and get used to it," which, needless to say, rudely closed the door on the conversation.

How can we get across to him that we love his Bible teaching, but we don't want to hear all his backstory stuff, especially since many of us have heard these stories over and over? -- LOVES THE GOOD BOOK

DEAR LOVES: What this teacher has told you is that he has no intention of changing his routine. Because his patter doesn't entertain you and interferes with your enlightenment, as well as other members of the class, let those who are willing to tolerate his blather continue his Bible study and business course, while the rest of you move forward with another, less egotistical instructor.

DEAR ABBY: I have reached a place in life where I'm getting older and have more money than I need. My husband and I want to give to our nieces, nephews and some cousins who we know are struggling financially. Do you have any suggestions on how to do this without being insulting?

Some of the nieces are quite well off, while others are a car repair away from not being able to pay their mortgage. Giving the same amounts seems fair in one way, but their needs are very different. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. We are also giving to charities we support, but would like to be able to help family. -- HELPING OUR OWN IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR HELPING: This is something you should discuss with your financial adviser or your attorney. Your reasoning is sound, but keep in mind that unequal bequests can be problematic for the recipients in the long run.