DEAR ABBY: At the age of 30, I recently had to move back with my parents. I am not the tidiest person in the world, but I thrive on the saying, "Dust, not dirt."

I recently went on vacation. I knew my room was a little messier than I'd like, but I also knew I'd return from vacation ready to tackle the pile of laundry and sweep and mop the floor. Lo and behold, when I walked into my room, it was clean and organized! Abby, I felt my privacy had been invaded.

I was embarrassed and ashamed, but also hurt because my parents had trespassed beyond my closed door. I feel betrayed and like my personal privacy was undermined. What should I do? -- INVADED SPACE

DEAR INVADED: I'm glad you asked. I think you should get over it, and fast. I assume you are staying rent-free in your parents' home.

You are no longer a teenager, and nobody trespassed. While you are under their roof, make an extra effort to keep the room you occupy free from dust and a pile of dirty laundry. If you act like a gracious guest instead of a spoiled child, there will be no reason to feel embarrassed or ashamed.

DEAR ABBY: I'm married and the mother of two kids, ages 5 and 7. My husband is a very involved father and partner in our marriage. My complaint is that he's too trusting of other people and doesn't keep an eye on the kids in public places.

An example: He'll take them to the grocery store and let them hang out in the toy department while he's getting groceries. They will be 100 yards away from each other. I have told him several times that I'm not comfortable with this, yet he continues to do it. I'm not sure what to do about it anymore. Have you any suggestions? -- NERVOUS IN NEBRASKA

DEAR NERVOUS: Yes. Because your husband can't be trusted to watch the children when they accompany him shopping, talk to the kids and impress upon them the importance of staying close to their father. However, if this doesn't work, then YOU will have to take over the errands until the children are older.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 60 and was a stay-at-home mom for 20 years. I have an associate degree in the field that I just got a job in. My problem is, at this age, I'm a little slower at learning new things. My supervisor was willing to help me for the first week, but now she seems to have lost patience with me.

I have been here barely two weeks, and she made a comment that made me feel terrible. She was trying to teach me a filing system, and I was having a hard time understanding it. She said in front of the entire office that "around here we have to use our brains." Should I talk to her or just push through? -- A LITTLE SLOWER

DEAR SLOWER: Let it slide this time. However, if her lack of tact continues, talk to her about how her comment made you feel. And in the meantime, learn that filing system.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a young wife. I married after three months of dating my military husband. He was previously in an on-again/off-again relationship that lasted about eight years, during which she had a baby with another man, etc. I believe my husband is still in love with her. After constantly asking him, he says he just wishes her well and he doesn't have any romantic feelings. I'm not sure what to do, and I just keep overthinking it. Any thoughts? -- HATES HUSBAND'S HISTORY

DEAR H.H.H.: Stop torturing your husband -- and yourself -- by constantly asking him about his feelings for his unfaithful ex-girlfriend. Get to work building your self-esteem, and you will have less to worry about. Your husband's history (baggage) is his own. You are making a mistake by dragging it into your marriage. If you concentrate on the positive, you will have a happier marriage, and so will your husband.

DEAR ABBY: Shortly after a retired, not-so-close friend moved to another city, he began sending emails about events he had read about in social media, news outlets and magazines. At first there were only a few a day, but as the days increased, so did his emails. I responded to some of them, but he never commented on them. He just sent more and more to the point that his daily emails are more than I can -- or want to -- read. I am spending too much time deleting them. What should I do? Should I ask him not to send them anymore, or should I stay quiet so as not to hurt his feelings? -- INBOX FULL IN MISSOURI

DEAR INBOX FULL: Your friend may be sending these items because, as a retiree, he has little to do but cruise the internet for entertainment. It would not be rude to tell this not-so-close friend you don't have time to review all of the emails he has been sending and ask him to send fewer. It's the truth. However, if he doesn't comply and the barrage continues, feel free to block them or create a filter for these emails that sends them to a folder where they can be easily scanned and deleted.

DEAR ABBY: My husband of 32 years often tells me women compliment him on his looks or the way he dresses. I compliment him often, but I think it's his way of telling me that he's still "got it" and I should be proud to have a husband who's hot and good-looking.

Am I crazy for not enjoying hearing what other women think? If anything, it has caused some insecurity on my part. I have asked him to stop sharing these comments and told him I'm tired of hearing them -- especially since I have told him repeatedly what I think of him, his looks and his way of dressing. Am I wrong? -- LOVES HIM INSIDE AND OUT

DEAR LOVES HIM: I don't think you're wrong. But has it occurred to you that your husband may do this not out of ego but because HE is insecure? People who are secure within themselves do not feel the need to continually toot their own horns the way your handsome, stylish husband does. Try this: The next time he does it, smile, nod in agreement and tell him you agree with his admirer. And repeat as necessary.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for six mostly blissful years, but recently, some of his fantasies have started to worry me. About six months ago, he told me he had an attraction to women with amputations. Naturally, I was confused. I didn't even know that was a "thing," but I accepted it, even though I thought it was odd.

Three months ago, he asked to do some role playing, where we hid my leg under a towel to give the appearance of having a below-the-knee amputation, which he says is his favorite. I didn't like it, but I went ahead with it. But now things are getting to be too much for me. He recently told me that not only does he find amputees attractive, but he wants to be one. What do I do? -- IN WEIRD TERRITORY

DEAR I.W.T.: The name for your husband's fetish is body integrity identity disorder. It is important that you learn more about it, and I am recommending you do some research on the subject. You will find the information on the internet. You should also consult a licensed psychotherapist to help you decide whether this fetish is something you are prepared to live with or it's time to end your marriage.

DEAR ABBY: How can I explain that I'd like to try traveling solo (or worse, with someone else) to my overly sensitive sister-in-law? We have known each other for many years. I am divorced, and she's widowed. We have been on a handful of trips together in recent years, and after every one of them, I said to myself, "Never again!" She can be extremely annoying.

She talks ALL THE TIME and complains nonstop. Her feelings are easily hurt, and she's the least self-aware person I know. I have traveled with friends without any issues. I asked a couple of them about this, but got no answers. She already asked (last year/pre-pandemic), "Where will we go next?" Help! -- BOTHERED BEYOND BELIEF

DEAR B.B.B.: Do not raise the subject of travel with her. Make plans with someone with whom you would like to enjoy the experience and, when your SIL asks, respond honestly. Tell her -- as gently as you can -- that it's not going to happen because the last times you traveled together she complained nonstop and spoiled the trip for you. If she has amnesia, give her chapter and verse. Will she like hearing it? No. Will it solve your problem? Absolutely -- IF you can summon the courage to set yourself free.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I and four friends were waiting to be served at a restaurant. All four of them began staring at their cellphones. Because I am not a cellphone owner and I spotted a magazine on a nearby table, I picked it up and started reading it. When we got home, my wife said she had been ashamed of my rudeness. Do you think I was rude? -- TIT FOR TAT IN TEXAS

DEAR T.F.T.: Under the circumstances, no, I do not think you were rude. In light of the fact that the others were staring at their cellphones, you should have pleaded self-defense and been found not guilty.