DEAR ABBY: My husband is an amazing guy. We have a very nice life except for an older sort-of family member who is living with us.

"Nathan" has been living in the house for years, but he isn't a blood relative. He's my husband's late stepfather's brother. Nathan is a several-times-divorced curmudgeon who was living in a shed. He was allowed to stay here to get on his feet and, partially, out of respect for the stepfather.

Nathan refuses to help out in any way. He comes and goes as he pleases and is living rent-free. We pay the mortgage and all the bills. Nathan buys food and stuff for himself, but then will eat the household food my mother-in-law buys.

I'm tired of the garbage he makes. He smokes in his room, and he's nasty, rude and demanding. He needs to move out or pay up, but my husband doesn't want to do anything. Advice? -- UNHAPPY AT HOME

DEAR UNHAPPY: Just this. Realize that nothing will change until your husband is finally willing to put his foot down and insist on some changes, or the freeloader leaves this earthly plane for the next. I would have used the phrase "goes to heaven," but it appears Nathan is already experiencing heaven right here on Earth, so do not expect him to move on his own.

DEAR ABBY: I was recently informed that my best friend of 10 years, "Darlene," planned to ghost me as soon as she got pregnant. I'm shocked that she would say such a thing or plan to do it. I always thought I was a good friend.

But now Darlene and her husband are getting a divorce, and she has been all chummy. I have a sour taste in my mouth. Do I stay friends and get over it, or give her her wish and disappear? -- UNFRIENDED IN THE WEST

DEAR UNFRIENDED: Are you sure the person who informed you about her plan is credible? Could they be jealous of the close friendship you have with Darlene? Frankly, it would be incredibly stupid for a person planning to ghost someone to tell a mutual friend who might leak it before the fact. Talk to Darlene! Do not end the friendship unless you are absolutely certain what you were told was the gospel.

DEAR ABBY: My 82-year-old mother made a special request of her visiting relatives on Christmas Day. She asked everyone to hand over their cellphones for the entire celebration upon entering or "don't come." She said she would return them as we left.

Certain family members had major meltdowns because of her request. My mother, as always, provided hors d'oeuvres, dinner and gifts for all 23 people. Do you think this was a fair request? -- NOT A BIG DEAL

DEAR NOT: Your mother wanted to encourage more than superficial communication. As she indicated, if anyone felt her request was too much of an imposition, they were free to refuse her invitation. The oldest rule of entertaining is: The host makes the rules. Of course it was a fair request!

DEAR ABBY: I am 20-something years old, and my father still hits my behind sometimes. I feel it is inappropriate, but the last time I complained about it, several years ago, it didn't go over well. It also didn't stop his behavior. What else can I do?

Right now all I can do is try not to place myself in a position where my behind is exposed. I no longer walk in front of him or wear leggings, and I wear oversized jackets to cover it. I'm a modest dresser. I'm not provocative. Did people back in the day normally "playfully" hit their adult daughters' behinds? -- INAPPROPRIATE IN IDAHO

DEAR INAPPROPRIATE: No, they did not. Your daddy is acting like a dirty old man. His behavior may seem "playful" to him, but to persist after you asked him not to is not only inappropriate but also somewhat creepy.

You are an adult. No one has a right to hit, swat or put his hands on you regardless of how he claims it's intended. Tell him again that you don't like it and it makes you uncomfortable, and if he persists, he will see far less of his daughter.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I grew up in very conservative households. Since college (where we met) and moving to a large city, we have become more liberal. We have friends of other races with whom we are very close, but both of our families frequently post inflammatory and offensive, racially biased comments on social media. Do we have a duty because of our beliefs and our friends to publicly object to their posts? We have previously discussed our differences with these family members, and we don't see eye to eye. -- DIFFERENT NOW IN TEXAS

DEAR DIFFERENT: Because you have already discussed your differences privately with these relatives, feel free to post your reaction to the offensive posts. They won't like you for it, and the rest of the tribe may gang up on you, but you and your husband will be able to look at yourselves in the mirror knowing you spoke aloud your truth.

DEAR ABBY: My wife of nine years has been faking a disability for seven of them. Yes, she was injured. However, I and many others are not convinced she's in chronic pain. She doesn't take her medication, and she functions like she did before her injury. This has had a detrimental effect on my life as well as our sons' because we have to live with her lies. When confronted, she denies it, and so does her family. -- STUCK IN THE LIE

DEAR STUCK: Your wife should be examined by a pain management specialist. Whether she's in physical pain, psychological pain or faking can be determined by a medical doctor and possibly a licensed therapist who understands PTSD, depending upon how she was injured. For your sake, your sons' and hers, you owe it to yourselves to find out what the cause is.

Of course, this suggestion depends on your wife agreeing to the examination. If you are correct in your suspicions, you may want to rethink whether this is how you want to live the rest of your life.

DEAR ABBY: My son's new wife -- who has a daughter -- insisted that his two children are not biologically his. After a DNA test, it turns out she was right. They aren't. My son, my husband and I are heartbroken. His twins are 10, and they don't understand what's going on.

My husband and I are trying to gently remain in their lives with phone calls and limited visits. My son's wife refuses to visit with us until we stop communicating with the children, promise never to talk about them and display no pictures in our home. She's trying to convince our son to stop seeing us, as well. What to do? -- DISAPPOINTED IN TEXAS

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: Those children, regardless of who their birth father is, were raised believing you and your husband are their grandparents. If you love them, do not knuckle under to your son's new wife or it will be only the beginning of how she will attempt to control you.

She does not have the right to dictate who you (or your son, for that matter) see and communicate with. She also does not have the right to order you to remove any object from your home.

If your son opts to turn his back on those children, that's a decision only he can make. If he also chooses to turn his back on you, then you raised a milquetoast instead of a man.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a married man, and I love my wife. We're not living together at the moment due to unfortunate circumstances.

Being far away from her, I get extremely lonely. I have a co-worker who became a good friend, and I have feelings for her. I have told her how I feel, and we have hung out a few times -- nothing sexual. Now she's moving away, and I feel heartbroken. How should I deal? I'm fighting back tears for someone I'm not even with. What do I do? -- HEARTBROKEN IN THE EAST

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: A relationship does not have to be sexual to be meaningful, and your co-worker was filling a space in your life that was empty. That you feel a sense of loss and sadness that she is moving is not surprising.

Not knowing the unfortunate circumstances that caused the separation between you and your wife, I can only advise you to start looking for a way to mend fences or change those circumstances so you can live together again, because clearly, you're not doing well on your own. If that's not possible, start giving serious thought to how you plan to live the rest of your life, because this way isn't working.

DEAR ABBY: The other day I was on a video conference call with our boss and two colleagues. When "Joan" came on the call, "something" was hanging from one of her nostrils. She may have had a cold. I scratched my nose and mustache a few times, trying to alert her of what was happening, to no avail. She didn't react. No one else said anything.

What would the correct protocol have been? Should I have left it alone or was I right to try to let her know? I did what I would have done in person. Should I have privately texted her? Please advise. -- TELECOMMUTING WOES

DEAR TELECOMMUTING: If the person with the leaky nose had been you, wouldn't you have wanted to know? Yes, you should have texted her.