DEAR ABBY: I am 20-something years old, and my father still hits my behind sometimes. I feel it is inappropriate, but the last time I complained about it, several years ago, it didn't go over well. It also didn't stop his behavior. What else can I do?

Right now all I can do is try not to place myself in a position where my behind is exposed. I no longer walk in front of him or wear leggings, and I wear oversized jackets to cover it. I'm a modest dresser. I'm not provocative. Did people back in the day normally "playfully" hit their adult daughters' behinds? -- INAPPROPRIATE IN IDAHO

DEAR INAPPROPRIATE: No, they did not. Your daddy is acting like a dirty old man. His behavior may seem "playful" to him, but to persist after you asked him not to is not only inappropriate but also somewhat creepy.

You are an adult. No one has a right to hit, swat or put his hands on you regardless of how he claims it's intended. Tell him again that you don't like it and it makes you uncomfortable, and if he persists, he will see far less of his daughter.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I grew up in very conservative households. Since college (where we met) and moving to a large city, we have become more liberal. We have friends of other races with whom we are very close, but both of our families frequently post inflammatory and offensive, racially biased comments on social media. Do we have a duty because of our beliefs and our friends to publicly object to their posts? We have previously discussed our differences with these family members, and we don't see eye to eye. -- DIFFERENT NOW IN TEXAS

DEAR DIFFERENT: Because you have already discussed your differences privately with these relatives, feel free to post your reaction to the offensive posts. They won't like you for it, and the rest of the tribe may gang up on you, but you and your husband will be able to look at yourselves in the mirror knowing you spoke aloud your truth.

DEAR ABBY: My wife of nine years has been faking a disability for seven of them. Yes, she was injured. However, I and many others are not convinced she's in chronic pain. She doesn't take her medication, and she functions like she did before her injury. This has had a detrimental effect on my life as well as our sons' because we have to live with her lies. When confronted, she denies it, and so does her family. -- STUCK IN THE LIE

DEAR STUCK: Your wife should be examined by a pain management specialist. Whether she's in physical pain, psychological pain or faking can be determined by a medical doctor and possibly a licensed therapist who understands PTSD, depending upon how she was injured. For your sake, your sons' and hers, you owe it to yourselves to find out what the cause is.

Of course, this suggestion depends on your wife agreeing to the examination. If you are correct in your suspicions, you may want to rethink whether this is how you want to live the rest of your life.

DEAR ABBY: My son's new wife -- who has a daughter -- insisted that his two children are not biologically his. After a DNA test, it turns out she was right. They aren't. My son, my husband and I are heartbroken. His twins are 10, and they don't understand what's going on.

My husband and I are trying to gently remain in their lives with phone calls and limited visits. My son's wife refuses to visit with us until we stop communicating with the children, promise never to talk about them and display no pictures in our home. She's trying to convince our son to stop seeing us, as well. What to do? -- DISAPPOINTED IN TEXAS

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: Those children, regardless of who their birth father is, were raised believing you and your husband are their grandparents. If you love them, do not knuckle under to your son's new wife or it will be only the beginning of how she will attempt to control you.

She does not have the right to dictate who you (or your son, for that matter) see and communicate with. She also does not have the right to order you to remove any object from your home.

If your son opts to turn his back on those children, that's a decision only he can make. If he also chooses to turn his back on you, then you raised a milquetoast instead of a man.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a married man, and I love my wife. We're not living together at the moment due to unfortunate circumstances.

Being far away from her, I get extremely lonely. I have a co-worker who became a good friend, and I have feelings for her. I have told her how I feel, and we have hung out a few times -- nothing sexual. Now she's moving away, and I feel heartbroken. How should I deal? I'm fighting back tears for someone I'm not even with. What do I do? -- HEARTBROKEN IN THE EAST

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: A relationship does not have to be sexual to be meaningful, and your co-worker was filling a space in your life that was empty. That you feel a sense of loss and sadness that she is moving is not surprising.

Not knowing the unfortunate circumstances that caused the separation between you and your wife, I can only advise you to start looking for a way to mend fences or change those circumstances so you can live together again, because clearly, you're not doing well on your own. If that's not possible, start giving serious thought to how you plan to live the rest of your life, because this way isn't working.

DEAR ABBY: The other day I was on a video conference call with our boss and two colleagues. When "Joan" came on the call, "something" was hanging from one of her nostrils. She may have had a cold. I scratched my nose and mustache a few times, trying to alert her of what was happening, to no avail. She didn't react. No one else said anything.

What would the correct protocol have been? Should I have left it alone or was I right to try to let her know? I did what I would have done in person. Should I have privately texted her? Please advise. -- TELECOMMUTING WOES

DEAR TELECOMMUTING: If the person with the leaky nose had been you, wouldn't you have wanted to know? Yes, you should have texted her.

DEAR ABBY: I met my wife when we were very young and into partying. We're now middle-aged and heading in different directions.

I focus on physical and mental well-being. I work out daily, eat healthy and maintain a positive attitude. She spends her free time lying around, drinking, smoking and constantly exposing herself to negativity through the internet. She's now on medication for depression and anxiety.

My attempts at discussion are mostly met with anger and defensiveness or are dismissed as "a bad time to talk." I feel we have reached a crossroads in our health. I want her to be as fit and healthy as possible so we can enjoy our golden years together. How do I get her to join me in a healthier lifestyle before it's too late? -- WILLING IN WASHINGTON

DEAR WILLING: Your wife may have reached a fork in the road of her life. If your description is accurate, you are living with a woman who is depressed, angry, defensive, anxious and self-destructive.

A way to get her to join you in a healthier lifestyle would be to convince her that her own path to wellness will begin with consulting a mental health professional before it is too late and the damage she is doing to herself becomes irreversible. When you do, make sure she knows you are saying it because you love her and want to enjoy a long and happy life with her -- something that is clearly not happening for her right now. If she still refuses, then continue doing what you're doing, recognizing you cannot save someone who refuses to help herself.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend is retired and alone, as am I. She recently moved next door so we can help each other if needed.

Since COVID, we feel safe seeing each other because we never go out in public places and all our shopping is done with delivery or curbside pickup. She doesn't like to cook, but I love to, so most evenings she's invited to dinner. She comes over about four times a week and usually takes home the leftovers for the other nights.

What bothers me is I usually eat dinner at the same time, and I remind her of it each time I invite her, yet she's invariably late. At first it was just a minute or two, but it's getting later and later. Tonight I waited 20 minutes for her.

I time my dishes to the minute, and I like my food hot and not overcooked. I don't want to make a big deal out of this, but I'm becoming increasingly irritated. Any suggestions on how I can get the message across without jeopardizing our friendship? -- FRESH MEALS IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR FRESH: Your friend may be disorganized or just plain thoughtless. The next time you invite her, tell her that because you like your dinner hot -- and not overcooked -- you will start eating at the appointed time and no longer continue to wait for her. You don't have to be mean about it, just firm, and then follow through.