DEAR ABBY: My son's new wife -- who has a daughter -- insisted that his two children are not biologically his. After a DNA test, it turns out she was right. They aren't. My son, my husband and I are heartbroken. His twins are 10, and they don't understand what's going on.

My husband and I are trying to gently remain in their lives with phone calls and limited visits. My son's wife refuses to visit with us until we stop communicating with the children, promise never to talk about them and display no pictures in our home. She's trying to convince our son to stop seeing us, as well. What to do? -- DISAPPOINTED IN TEXAS

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: Those children, regardless of who their birth father is, were raised believing you and your husband are their grandparents. If you love them, do not knuckle under to your son's new wife or it will be only the beginning of how she will attempt to control you.

She does not have the right to dictate who you (or your son, for that matter) see and communicate with. She also does not have the right to order you to remove any object from your home.

If your son opts to turn his back on those children, that's a decision only he can make. If he also chooses to turn his back on you, then you raised a milquetoast instead of a man.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a married man, and I love my wife. We're not living together at the moment due to unfortunate circumstances.

Being far away from her, I get extremely lonely. I have a co-worker who became a good friend, and I have feelings for her. I have told her how I feel, and we have hung out a few times -- nothing sexual. Now she's moving away, and I feel heartbroken. How should I deal? I'm fighting back tears for someone I'm not even with. What do I do? -- HEARTBROKEN IN THE EAST

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: A relationship does not have to be sexual to be meaningful, and your co-worker was filling a space in your life that was empty. That you feel a sense of loss and sadness that she is moving is not surprising.

Not knowing the unfortunate circumstances that caused the separation between you and your wife, I can only advise you to start looking for a way to mend fences or change those circumstances so you can live together again, because clearly, you're not doing well on your own. If that's not possible, start giving serious thought to how you plan to live the rest of your life, because this way isn't working.

DEAR ABBY: The other day I was on a video conference call with our boss and two colleagues. When "Joan" came on the call, "something" was hanging from one of her nostrils. She may have had a cold. I scratched my nose and mustache a few times, trying to alert her of what was happening, to no avail. She didn't react. No one else said anything.

What would the correct protocol have been? Should I have left it alone or was I right to try to let her know? I did what I would have done in person. Should I have privately texted her? Please advise. -- TELECOMMUTING WOES

DEAR TELECOMMUTING: If the person with the leaky nose had been you, wouldn't you have wanted to know? Yes, you should have texted her.

DEAR ABBY: I met my wife when we were very young and into partying. We're now middle-aged and heading in different directions.

I focus on physical and mental well-being. I work out daily, eat healthy and maintain a positive attitude. She spends her free time lying around, drinking, smoking and constantly exposing herself to negativity through the internet. She's now on medication for depression and anxiety.

My attempts at discussion are mostly met with anger and defensiveness or are dismissed as "a bad time to talk." I feel we have reached a crossroads in our health. I want her to be as fit and healthy as possible so we can enjoy our golden years together. How do I get her to join me in a healthier lifestyle before it's too late? -- WILLING IN WASHINGTON

DEAR WILLING: Your wife may have reached a fork in the road of her life. If your description is accurate, you are living with a woman who is depressed, angry, defensive, anxious and self-destructive.

A way to get her to join you in a healthier lifestyle would be to convince her that her own path to wellness will begin with consulting a mental health professional before it is too late and the damage she is doing to herself becomes irreversible. When you do, make sure she knows you are saying it because you love her and want to enjoy a long and happy life with her -- something that is clearly not happening for her right now. If she still refuses, then continue doing what you're doing, recognizing you cannot save someone who refuses to help herself.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend is retired and alone, as am I. She recently moved next door so we can help each other if needed.

Since COVID, we feel safe seeing each other because we never go out in public places and all our shopping is done with delivery or curbside pickup. She doesn't like to cook, but I love to, so most evenings she's invited to dinner. She comes over about four times a week and usually takes home the leftovers for the other nights.

What bothers me is I usually eat dinner at the same time, and I remind her of it each time I invite her, yet she's invariably late. At first it was just a minute or two, but it's getting later and later. Tonight I waited 20 minutes for her.

I time my dishes to the minute, and I like my food hot and not overcooked. I don't want to make a big deal out of this, but I'm becoming increasingly irritated. Any suggestions on how I can get the message across without jeopardizing our friendship? -- FRESH MEALS IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR FRESH: Your friend may be disorganized or just plain thoughtless. The next time you invite her, tell her that because you like your dinner hot -- and not overcooked -- you will start eating at the appointed time and no longer continue to wait for her. You don't have to be mean about it, just firm, and then follow through.

DEAR ABBY: I had a friend I would talk to every day while I was doing my deliveries for work. We had anywhere between six and 25 conversations a day. For months it was never an issue. All of a sudden, I got blocked on her social media, and her boyfriend (my husband's good friend) sent me a message telling me to leave her alone! I felt blindsided since it was out of the blue with no warning or any discussion between her and me about the amount of time we were talking.

Well, they are using my Disney+ streaming service, and I feel like they are taking advantage of me. I'm not allowed over to their house anymore or to talk to her, but my husband is welcome anytime. I pay for the Disney+ out of my personal money. Would it be so bad if I removed her from my account and changed my password? -- TALKED OUT IN OHIO

DEAR TALKED OUT: To talk to someone 25 times a day was excessive. Your friend had things she had to do besides keep you company on your route. It's possible that instead of telling you it had become too much for her, she complained to her boyfriend about it, and he decided to take action on her behalf.

The way this was handled is regrettable. That your husband continues to socialize with them while you are being ostracized is also regrettable. Because the friendship is now over and the streaming account is paid for out of your personal money, I see no reason why you shouldn't remove her access to it.

DEAR ABBY: My brother says whatever is on his mind without regard for anyone else's feelings. He brags about not having health insurance and says his doctors will see him for $10, which, believe it or not, they do. He brags about not having life insurance and says his kids will have to deal with his funeral expenses when he dies. He has spent thousands on the house he recently purchased, so money isn't the problem.

He doesn't believe in giving gifts, nor even sending a card. He is my only sibling, and over the years I have given him more than you can imagine. On a recent visit to pick up something he had asked my husband for, he began insulting me without provocation. It escalated to him calling me several vulgar names. To avoid a confrontation, I went into the house. What do I do to put my brother in his place so he will stop? -- SISTER OF A JERK

DEAR SISTER: Stop tolerating it! Quit giving things to your brother and doing him favors. Make a conscious effort to spend less time (or any time) in his presence. It should be clear that your efforts have not been appreciated, so do yourself a favor: Spend time with people who do treat you well, appreciate what you do for them and reciprocate.

DEAR READERS: On this day of love, I want you to know how much I value the relationship I have with you. Wishing you all a happy Valentine's Day. ... WITH LOVE, ABBY