DEAR ABBY: I met my wife when we were very young and into partying. We're now middle-aged and heading in different directions.
I focus on physical and mental well-being. I work out daily, eat healthy and maintain a positive attitude. She spends her free time lying around, drinking, smoking and constantly exposing herself to negativity through the internet. She's now on medication for depression and anxiety.
My attempts at discussion are mostly met with anger and defensiveness or are dismissed as "a bad time to talk." I feel we have reached a crossroads in our health. I want her to be as fit and healthy as possible so we can enjoy our golden years together. How do I get her to join me in a healthier lifestyle before it's too late? -- WILLING IN WASHINGTON
DEAR WILLING: Your wife may have reached a fork in the road of her life. If your description is accurate, you are living with a woman who is depressed, angry, defensive, anxious and self-destructive.
A way to get her to join you in a healthier lifestyle would be to convince her that her own path to wellness will begin with consulting a mental health professional before it is too late and the damage she is doing to herself becomes irreversible. When you do, make sure she knows you are saying it because you love her and want to enjoy a long and happy life with her -- something that is clearly not happening for her right now. If she still refuses, then continue doing what you're doing, recognizing you cannot save someone who refuses to help herself.