DEAR ABBY: My colleagues and I were recently notified that our company is closing next month. My work partner and I have collaborated closely for four years, and he's an expert at the software I need to know to get a job in my field. When I asked if he would give me a couple of lessons via Zoom, I was thinking it'd be about a three-hour commitment for him. But he was enthusiastic and designed a 20-plus-hour curriculum for me.

He keeps saying he doesn't want me to pay him, but I want to find an appropriate way to express my gratitude. What would be an appropriate amount to compensate him without getting too steep (which is why I didn't do the full-price software training in the first place. It was $2K)? Thanks for any advice. -- THANKFUL IN ILLINOIS

DEAR THANKFUL: If you know of any interests, hobbies, a sport, etc. your partner has outside the workplace, consider going online to see if you can find something connected to that activity he would enjoy that's within your budget.

DEAR ABBY: Every year on Facebook's "National Daughter's Day," my daughter's mother-in-law professes her love, respect and admiration for her own daughter, but never acknowledges her daughter-in-law (my daughter). Yet on "National Son's Day," she posts glowing tributes not only to her sons, but also to her son-in-law.

We all live within miles of each other, and this recurring slight makes it difficult to act like everything is fine when, in truth, this is hurtful to my daughter and to our family. Should I address this issue with the mother-in-law or continue to bite my tongue? -- DISMISSED IN TEXAS

DEAR DISMISSED: If you are smart, rather than address the issue with your daughter's mother-in-law, who either has the emotional intelligence of an oyster or really doesn't care for your daughter, mention it to your son-in-law and point out to him that being slighted is hurtful. There may be a better result if he brings it up to his mother.

DEAR ABBY: I battle with a double chin, and I loathe it. My chin hides itself only if I am under 126 pounds. Anything over that and it's there. I'm not overweight, but my double chin makes me feel that way.

I have read that dermal fillers in the chin can discreetly get rid of this issue. The problem? My husband. He's against any type of plastic surgery. He doesn't like my double chin either, but he wants me to only get rid of it "naturally." Normally I would agree. I have been exercising (running four times a week) without success. I don't feel comfortable looking this way.

I think I deserve this shortcut. Should I get the filler without my husband's blessing, or should I continue this struggle? -- TAKING IT ON THE CHIN

DEAR TAKING IT: You are an adult, and it's your body. You do not need permission to do something that will help you feel better about yourself. If your husband is against any type of plastic surgery (and by the way, fillers do not qualify as plastic surgery), he should forgo having it when his frown lines begin to look like tractor furrows and he develops a wattle.

DEAR ABBY: My 25-year-old son has been dating a girl for two or three months. She seems very nice. She has two children and is pregnant with her third child. She's due in three months. The child is not my son's.

I was told by some friends of my son that he's planning to sign the birth certificate as the father. He understands the implications. How do I convince him that, although he feels like he and this girl will be together for the long haul, this is a poor decision to make, especially because of the short length of time they have been dating? -- TOO MUCH, TOO SOON

DEAR TOO MUCH, TOO SOON: Although it can be difficult to convince someone in the throes of new love, you and your son's friends should urge him to discuss this with a lawyer before signing anything. He needs input from someone who is not emotionally involved and can explain the legal ramifications of what he's considering.

Not all romances have storybook endings, but if this relationship leads to marriage in the future, he can always adopt or provide financially for the child if he wishes. I sincerely hope you and the others who care about him can get through to your son.

DEAR ABBY: My college-aged granddaughter is no longer speaking to me, answering my phone calls or allowing her other grandmother (who raised her) to post anything on Facebook where I can see what she is doing.

My granddaughter came to live with me last summer because she worked a summer job here. I asked her if she was gay, not because I think she is but as a prelude to a conversation about not allowing other girls to recruit her into a same-sex relationship as I saw in college and while teaching public school. Although I tried to explain, things have grown progressively worse.

My son and her mother married when she was 7 and divorced when she was 13. Over the years, I worked hard to develop and maintain a relationship with her. Now, she has told the other grandmother that she will never speak to me again. Was what I did so bad, and what should I do now? -- OTHER GRANDMOTHER IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR OTHER: What you said wasn't "bad," but it was misinformed and heavy-handed. While same-sex relationships do happen in high school and college, young people don't usually indulge unless they are already at least bi-curious. Even then, straight people don't suddenly "turn gay."

Your granddaughter may still be trying to figure out her sexual orientation, which could be why she has reacted so strongly. If you are wise, you will allow her the time she needs to sort it out, rather than push or panic.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter and I have a wonderful relationship. But I am very upset because she listens in on the speaker phone to every conversation I have with my 11-year-old grandson. I really believe we should have privacy, and I think it's strange that she does this. Is she justified, since she knows I'm disturbed by speakerphones in general? -- CONCERNED NANA IN THE EAST

DEAR CONCERNED: You wrote that you have a wonderful relationship with your daughter. Have you asked her why she feels monitoring your calls to your grandson is justified? From my perspective, her behavior may be hypervigilant, but whether it is justified isn't a question that someone who isn't familiar with your family dynamics can answer.

DEAR ABBY: Yesterday, my daughter informed me that her boyfriend will soon come to me to ask for her hand in marriage. She also told me she intends to have both her stepfather and me walk her down the aisle. This creates a huge problem for me.

Her mother and I divorced 13 years ago because of marital infidelity on her part. She was having an affair with the man who is now my daughter's stepfather. When my daughter told me her plans, it took all my self-control not to go through the roof.

I have thought about my daughter's wedding day since the day she was born, and now she wants me to share it with this individual who has caused me so much pain. Her feeling is he has been with her her entire life, and she wants him in the wedding. I understand it to some extent, although for her to ask me to give up even a bit of this honor cuts me to my core.

One of her reasons for asking is we had a strained relationship for a number of years. I was never out of her life, although there were periods of time when we would fight constantly.

I don't want to miss the opportunity to walk my baby girl down the aisle, but I simply cannot share this honor with someone who basically stole my family. -- NOT FORGIVING IN TEXAS

DEAR NOT FORGIVING: I know this is painful for you, but you are not in control. If you are going to have the honor of walking your daughter down the aisle, you will have to figure out a compromise. I'm suggesting you walk her halfway to the altar and your daughter's stepfather take her the rest of the way, or vice versa. It has been done before.

DEAR ABBY: At what age is it no longer appropriate to share a bed with your child? My sister-in-law "Mara" is a single mom with a 13-year-old daughter. Until recently we were quite close, but we haven't spoken in a few months. Mostly it's because of COVID restrictions, but we had begun drifting apart even before.

Last week I saw on Facebook that she had made a comment about them still sharing a bed. I think it's weird and creepy. It goes against every boundary I have as a mother myself.

Should I keep my mouth shut? She won't listen to my husband (her brother) because he has been branded an "abusive misogynist." Mara loves to play the victim and interprets any criticism, however slight, as abuse -- especially if it comes from a man.

Getting in touch with her out of the blue to talk about this seems over the top, but I'm genuinely concerned about the long-term impact on her daughter, who has voiced in the past (not in front of Mara) that she prefers to sleep alone. Is this none of my business? -- OVER THE LINE

DEAR OVER: If you suspect your niece is being sexually abused, child protective services should be contacted. Otherwise, it is none of your business. Not every family -- or culture, for that matter -- has the same standards. Until your niece finds the courage to tell her mother she no longer wants to share a bed, nothing will change in that household.