DEAR ABBY: I'm a 24-year-old woman who has been married for four years. My husband, "Jerry," and I have two young boys. Jerry is military. I stay at home with the kids and work part time online on an associate degree. We struggle financially, but our basic needs are met and, overall, I'm happy with my life.

My problem is I'm finding myself struggling to control a very strong temper. The kids or my husband may be getting on my nerves, or I'm late turning in an assignment, or I'm unable to get housework done -- these frustrations build up inside and make me want to throw a fit, scream or throw things, essentially NOT be the cool, responsible adult I typically am.

I know this is incredibly immature, and I realize I'm well off in the grand scheme of things, but this anger still brews. I have never had a problem controlling my temper before. Can you help? -- FIRED UP IN FLORIDA

DEAR FIRED UP: The quarantines and lockdowns may be part of the cause of your near meltdowns. Many people are stressed and spread thin, and the isolation isn't helping.

Because you are constantly with your children, it's important that you manage your emotions before venting them on your little ones, which can be destructive. When an adult yells or acts out in front of a small child, the child will often shut down out of fear that violence may follow. This is why it's so important for you to find appropriate ways to express your emotions. My booklet "The Anger in All of Us and How To Deal With It" offers suggestions for directing angry feelings in a healthy way. It can be ordered by sending your name and address, plus a check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to Dear Abby Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. Sometimes when people are frustrated, they lose their temper with those presently around them. In situations like this, it's important to evaluate the source of what might really be irritating you rather than misdirect your anger at a blameless target. The ability to control your emotions is crucial so your children won't grow up thinking that exploding is normal. There are healthy ways of dealing with frustration. Among them: leaving the room, going for a walk or, better yet, a short run, or saying to yourself, "Please, Lord, don't let me lose my temper!" before opening your mouth.

DEAR ABBY: My boss has been making passes at me for the last five months, even though I have told him it makes me uncomfortable. We went out to dinner once, and he is insisting that we do it again. How do I say no to this married man and still keep my job? -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN THE SOUTH

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: Ask your employer if he is satisfied with your job performance. Tell him a social relationship with a married man is not what you signed on for and, if he becomes punitive, document it and point out that what he is doing could be considered sexual harassment.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are going on 19 years of marriage and have three teenage girls. We have had multiple rounds of marriage counseling, mostly with good results, although the benefits seem to be short-lived. Most of our problems have stemmed from my husband's drinking or smoking pot. He's not abusive, he's a good provider, but he just likes to get high. Thank God it's not often, but I'm not nor have I ever been OK with it.

Our girls recently found his pot stash and helped themselves. When I questioned them about where they got it, they admitted they found their dad's stash. For me, this is the last straw. How can I teach my kids this is not OK when their dad's actions say otherwise? I'm now made out to be the prude since apparently I'm "no fun."

I'm a nurse, and even if it were legal in our state, I wouldn't use it. I told my husband that I'm done and I'm ready for a divorce. He says I'm being ridiculous. Do I need to lighten up? I think I already know your answer, but I just need to see it to validate my feelings. -- ANTI-DRUG WIFE AND MOM

DEAR ANTI-DRUG: Although marijuana may be legal in an increasing number of states, "supplying" drugs to minors is against the law in all of them. What happened cannot and should not be ignored, but ending a good marriage because your husband likes to use pot occasionally seems extreme.

It may take more visits to a marriage and family therapist for you to agree to disagree on this, but it is very important that your daughters be disabused of the idea that what they did was OK with either of you. It's time you and your husband form a united front, and he needs to find a better place to keep his stash.

DEAR ABBY: Because of the recent COVID-19 crisis, my wife and I, like so many others, have been stuck at home. I have asked her questions about former boyfriends and lovers. She told me some things, but when I bring it up now, she gets defensive and accuses me of belittling her and bringing back memories she has asked God to help her forget. I feel I am owed an explanation since they all took place while we were dating (including with my best friend) and with a house sitter after we were married. Am I wrong to bring it up after many years and a great marriage?

P.S. It's eating at me, and her stonewalling by saying "I can't remember" is frustrating, especially because all her friends talk about her great memory. -- DEPRESSED IN TEXAS

DEAR DEPRESSED: Yes, you are wrong because this isn't getting you anywhere positive. In fact, it's the opposite. If you are looking for a divorce after "many years and a great marriage," keep digging.

While your wife's poor judgment and infidelity are deeply regrettable, the two of you managed to build a life together and move beyond it. Sometimes people forget what they need to forget in order to function. Accept it and use your quarantine time to do something more positive than playing "20 Questions."

DEAR ABBY: A new single pastor was assigned to my church. He asked if I was single and if I had kids. I told him no, and we began having an affair.

For two years, it was all in secret. Then I began noticing that a single lady from his previous church would visit. He told me she was concerned about him being alone, so she was stopping by on her way through.

Well, I now know she was more than that. While he was having his affair with me, he was engaged to her. When I confronted him, he denied it. They got married in secret, and he didn't tell the church until afterward. Everyone was shocked because he talked so much about being an open book and being truthful. I was and still am in shock. I love my church, but I hate my pastor. Should I leave? -- HURTING IN SECRET

DEAR HURTING: I smell a rat, and it's coming from the pulpit. Your pastor misrepresented himself. His affair with you was, to say the least, unethical and should be discussed with the governing board of your church. You were taken advantage of. One of you should leave.

DEAR ABBY: I endured an arduous decade-long marriage with a subsequent nasty divorce and custody battle. This was followed by years of contentious child rearing with my ex. With my children now grown, I am free to spend my money the way I want and have absolute freedom. I live alone, and quite frankly, I love my life. I am 100% sure that I want to remain unmarried.

When people ask me about getting remarried, I tell them "never again," and I mean it. Yet, inevitably, people say, "You never know, you might get married again someday." Abby, I DO know. It's been more than 20 years.

I used to get annoyed, but now I just blow it off. Do you have any retort that doesn't sound rude? I have thought about saying, "I guess you know me better than I know myself," but it sounds snarky. -- BEFUDDLED IN FLORIDA

DEAR BEFUDDLED: If blowing off the questions no longer works for you, try this: Smile at the person and say, "That would involve two willing people, and I'm not receptive. But thank you for the kind thought." And then change the subject.

DEAR ABBY: I have been having some emotional turmoil. I'm feeling depressed and hopeless. I know I need to tell my parents, but I'm too scared. I'm afraid they will brush it off or blame me. It's really affecting my life. Please give me some advice on how to break the news. -- GIRL WITH A PROBLEM IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR GIRL: Many people are experiencing feelings similar to the ones you are. The worst thing you can do is keep them to yourself. Be brave. Tell your parents about your depression and turmoil. If they are disbelieving, confide in a teacher or the parent of a close friend so they can advise your parents on getting you professional help if it is necessary. My thoughts are with you, and I hope you feel better soon.