DEAR ABBY: My ex had a prior relationship with my cousin "Earl." When she talked about her past relationships, a common theme emerged. Her partners were emotionally abusive -- cheating, berating her, throwing rage fits where they screamed in her face and threw things. My own history is similar. My partners have done the same to me. (I do not engage in such behavior.)
Earl told her he still has feelings for her, despite the emotional abuse he had inflicted upon her. I confronted him and told him that what he did was inappropriate. Abby, when she heard about it, she dumped me and tried to get back together with Earl!
My cousin, having done work to remedy his issues, rejected her outright. He told her it would never work between them despite the lingering feelings. Now she has come back to me, saying she wants a serious relationship. Should I take her back? -- SO MIXED-UP
DEAR SO MIXED-UP: Heck no. This woman has made clear that you are her second choice. Please don't take her up on her offer. You can't fix what's wrong with this very mixed-up woman, and you shouldn't waste your time trying because if you do, she will only cause you more pain.