DEAR ABBY: I found out a year ago that my wife of eight years had an affair for three years with my best friend. Two months ago I realized she is still contacting him. I found out because I went through her cell records. She said she was just texting him about how he ruined our life. Now I have no access to them, and I suspect she's using a text app so I won't know. She keeps her phone with her all the time.

I can't live like this, and I don't know what to do. I always let her do what she wanted and never had a concern before this. I was always laid-back, but now I can't stop thinking she is up to no good. How do I approach this with her? We have been to counseling. Every time I bring up her affair, she says our marriage will never work because of trust issues, and I agree. Please help. -- OUT OF CHANCES IN FLORIDA

DEAR OUT: Your wife and best friend betrayed you, so your trust issues are well-founded. If she would like to stay married to you, she should not be hiding her cellphone and texts from you. If she's unwilling to cooperate, then what she said is 100% correct -- your marriage will never work, and your next step should be to talk to an attorney.

DEAR ABBY: I had a baby a year ago. I'm 46, and my son's father just turned 50. We are looking to buy a house, but I am conflicted. We are not married, and it will be my money that we use for the down payment. I have expressed that I would like to be married before we buy the house, but nothing has happened. I have brought the subject up several times, but I now feel really nervous about his not following through. How should I proceed from here? -- DOWN PAYMENT DILEMMA IN NEW YORK

DEAR D.P.D.: That the father of your baby keeps "forgetting" to address the fact that you want to be married is a red flag. It appears he is unwilling to make that commitment. Before moving forward with buying property with someone who is reluctant to make a commitment, it is extremely important that you discuss this with a lawyer. An attorney can help to ensure your financial interests will be protected. Until you have done that, keep your checkbook firmly closed.

DEAR ABBY: I am about to be married to a wonderful man who has three teenagers from a previous marriage. His boys are 18 and 16, and his daughter is also 16. They have TERRIBLE table manners, which seem to be encouraged by their grandfather. My fiance has spoken to his dad regarding the unacceptable behavior, yet it continues.

When my fiance tries to enforce common table etiquette, the children ask why the change. Table manners were not part of their upbringing, and they don't see the importance. How do I -- or should I -- attempt to undo 18 years of poor habits? -- EMBARRASSED AT THE TABLE

DEAR EMBARRASSED: Table manners are important. They reveal a lot about someone's upbringing or lack of it. Not knowing the basics can negatively affect not only a person's social life, but also his or her career. You would be doing those young people a huge favor if you speak up and support your fiance in this.

DEAR ABBY: Five months ago, after eight years, my fiancee terminated our relationship. I still have very strong feelings for her, although she ghosted me and won't communicate with me.

We agreed from the outset that should the relationship end, the ring (or value thereof) would be returned to me. I have sent numerous emails and text messages and have received no response. Her explanation for her silence for 22 days -- just before she broke up with me over the phone -- was because I "gave her an ultimatum."

She had selected the ring and told me repeatedly how much she loved it. Do you think she's still "in love" with me and that's why she refuses to return the ring? -- DUMPED WITHOUT RING

DEAR DUMPED: No, I think she is still in love with the ring, which is why she refuses to return it. Because your former fiancee has chosen to keep it rather than abide by the rules of etiquette or your verbal agreement, it's time to consult a lawyer. If you want that ring back (or the value thereof), you may have to take her to court to get it. Be glad you are rid of her, even if it wasn't your idea.

DEAR ABBY: I have an extremely well-educated and intelligent friend whose emotions, ideas and opinions seem to have become subjugated to the control of her relatively new spouse. I should add that he has a bad temper, and I am afraid it could escalate.

What are my options for reporting or intervening in the situation? It's possible that she's willingly submitting, but it seems uncharacteristic. I have personal experience with this kind of situation in regard to family members, but I don't want to make a fuss if I'm wrong. -- CARING FRIEND IN KANSAS

DEAR FRIEND: Unless you have proof that your friend is being physically abused, the most helpful thing you can do is stay in close contact and make sure she knows you will always be there for her if she needs you, day or night. If she confides that her husband is emotionally abusive, support her by reminding her that, despite what her husband may have told her, she's intelligent and well-educated.

Talk to her about the situations you have encountered in your own family and mention the National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org; 800-799-7233). If she contacts you because he has hurt her physically, get her to an emergency room right away. They know how to handle (and report) domestic abuse and are mandated to do so.

DEAR ABBY: Is it fair to other family members to leave dirty dishes in the sink until "later"? My wife and I have been married 15 years, but my wife still leaves dirty dishes in the sink all day, every day, "until I can get to them." To me, this is rude and inconsiderate. If I have time enough to use a dish or a glass, I have time to rinse it and put it in the dishwasher. Who is right here? -- RUDE IN TEXAS

DEAR RUDE: You are. Because you have asked your wife repeatedly not to do this, one would think she would accommodate you. It takes only a moment to put used dishes and utensils into a dishwasher rather than leave them stacked in the sink. Her disregard for your feelings is passive-aggressive. Consider asking her if she does it as a way to punish you for something she's not willing to discuss.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in love with my best friend for two years. We met at a summer camp where we were both working, and we hated each other in the beginning. During the process of working together, we somehow became best friends, and I fell desperately in love with him.

We talk on the phone for hours and text each other daily. He knows everything about me to the point that I swear he knows me better than I know myself. We hang out in groups mostly. We rarely spend time alone. When we are together, our chemistry is undeniable. We constantly laugh, touch, tease, etc. Everyone around us sees our connection, and they're confused when we say we're not dating.

I kind of expressed my feelings to him about a year ago, but he said he wasn't ready to date anyone. Since then, we have grown closer, and our relationship is more unclear. His actions lead me to believe that he feels the way I do and regards me as more than a friend, but he won't make a move or tell me his feelings.

The hard part about this is, I'm moving in five months. Our time together is coming to an end, but I haven't told him how I feel because I don't want his affection or our frequent communication to stop. Do I tell him my feelings again and risk being rejected? Or should I just tell him I am moving and see if he admits his true feelings for me? -- DEEP IN THE HEARTBREAK OF TEXAS

DEAR DEEP: Obviously, this person cares for you to some degree. Tell him how you feel face-to-face while you still can. That you care so much for him is a compliment. However, if he still doesn't feel as strongly for you as you hope, once you move, I hope you will regard it as an opportunity to meet new people and form new relationships until you find a special someone who reciprocates your feelings. Trust me, he IS out there.

DEAR ABBY: I have read so many letters in your column about families who have all sorts of problems with their children, husband or wife, in-laws, parents and other family members. They make me wonder how in the world I got so lucky.

My husband and I raised four children -- two girls, two boys -- and they could not be more of a blessing. We text each other every morning, and I text a daughter in Hawaii at night to let her know I'm OK. They call, they send cards, they send flowers. One son sent them to me for several years on his birthday, with a card saying, "Thank you for having me."

My heart aches for parents who don't have what I have. I can only hope they will find some peace later. And to my four children: Thank you for the happiness you have brought me over the years. -- GEORGIA MOM

DEAR GEORGIA MOM: Problems are the basis of my column. There are many functional, happy families, but few of them take the time to write and share that.

Clearly, you are a great parent, and for that you deserve congratulations. However, there is an element of luck in parenting, and I have heard from parents who devoted themselves to giving all they could to their children, and their children did not turn out to be as loving, generous and appreciative as yours. I agree that your family is fortunate to recognize their blessings, chief among them each other.