DEAR ABBY: Three months ago, my husband ran into a second cousin he hadn't seen in 40 years. They were close for a short time during high school and saw each other a couple times after that.

I was not aware until recently that he had looked her up on social media and has been communicating with her every day since then. I didn't think much of it when he did tell me -- until one night when he stayed on the computer with her until 3 a.m.

He has lied to me about the number of times he has been online with her and, if she calls or texts, he tells me it is someone else. She sent him pictures -- which I saw -- yet he denied receiving them. One time he forgot to sign off on a message he sent and, of course, I read it. To my shock, he was confiding a lot of things he has done while married to me that I was unaware of. It hurt me deeply, and I told him so.

Recently I was in the hospital. When I called him a couple of times at night, he claimed he didn't pick up because he was "tired." I found out later he was on the computer with her.

I have asked him more than once why this relationship is so private, and he says they are just friends. But when I asked to see some of the things he has written to her, he refused to show me. I said fine, then I will ask her. Well, he blew up!

When I told him it hurts me that he spends so much time with her in the evening, he didn't give an answer. Am I overreacting? If so, can you please tell me how to settle down and deal with what is happening? -- COUSIN TROUBLE IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR COUSIN TROUBLE: You are not overreacting. It's time to do what you said you were going to do -- call the woman and ask her what has been going on. After she fills you in, ask yourself if you still want to be married to a man who has cheated on you emotionally and probably physically.

If you feel there is any hope of saving your marriage, offer your husband the option of seeing a marriage and family therapist together. However, knowing he has no compunction about lying to you or any respect for your feelings, you might prefer to simply consult a lawyer about what your next steps should be.

DEAR ABBY: I am an 18-year-old woman. My parents are divorced. My father says I should be out having fun and I owe no explanations to anyone. My mother, on the other hand, is very strict. I respect her wishes and don't do what most people my age would do. I try to be very careful with what I say in any conversation with her, but it always ends up with her very angry toward me. I want to live my life or at least try to. What do I do? -- CLUELESS TEEN IN TEXAS

DEAR TEEN: An 18-year-old should be carefree and engaged in self-discovery. But people of every age are having to hunker down and curtail their social activities these days because their lives could depend on it. And as to owing no explanations to anyone, until you are self-supporting and on your own, you WILL have to be accountable.

Your mother may be feeling insecure because her daughter is now a young adult rather than her little girl who needs protecting. She may also be reacting to the "advice" your dad is doling out. You are going to have to figure out what triggers your mother's anger during those conversations and find a happy medium.

DEAR ABBY: Is it ever too late to apologize to an ex-boyfriend? I'm in my mid-40s now, and over the last three years, I have gone through a significant change. It has helped me to face myself, let go of useless hate and anger and forgive the people who hurt me. It has made me a much happier person.

One of the results of this change is realizing how much I dislike who I was when I was younger. I'm sure many people made mistakes in their early 20s and maybe blew it off, because I know I did. But now I can't. I'm ashamed of my previous behavior and have been thinking about reaching out to him to apologize for the horrible things I did while we were together.

My family says I shouldn't do it. They say I'm being ridiculous because "who cares about how an old partner treated you decades ago?" But I'm struggling with letting it go. I learned years ago to take responsibility for my mistakes, but it's something I didn't do in that relationship.

I'm currently in a solid and happy relationship, which is why I think my family may be so against this, and while I don't know my ex's relationship status, I have no ulterior motives for reaching out. The person I am today just wants very much to apologize for the person I used to be, but I don't want to cause any problems. What is your neutral advice? -- SORRY IN THE SOUTHWEST

DEAR SORRY IN THE SOUTHWEST: I don't think it is ever too late to say "I'm sorry," and I seriously doubt that an overdue apology for your past behavior would cause problems. Because you feel compelled to offer one, go ahead and do it. You may be pleasantly surprised to find that your former flame recovered from whatever you did and went on with his life as you have with yours. And if that's not the case, he may need to receive your apology as much as you need to give it.

DEAR ABBY: My family and I moved to Las Vegas seven months ago, and we love it here. We are not heavy gamblers, but we occasionally like to hit a local casino (once, maybe twice, a month) and never spend more than $50. We consider it paying for entertainment rather than a chance at winning it big.

My parents are coming to visit soon and, unfortunately, they have had a history of compulsive gambling. They admit they have a problem and have been going to support groups off and on for the past year.

We have lots of off-strip fun planned, but I know they will want to visit a casino because, well, it's Vegas! Would I be enabling them if I went with them to a casino? Could this trigger more compulsive gambling when they return home? Are there any boundaries I should set? I don't want to see them spiral into their addiction again, but I also want us all to enjoy the "What happens in Vegas ..." vacation mentality during their visit. -- GAMBLING WITH THEIR ADDICTION

DEAR GAMBLING: The "what happens in Vegas (stays in Vegas)" mentality means that what happened in Vegas was not something to be proud of. It would absolutely challenge your parents' "sobriety" if you take them to a casino, and your fear that it could jump-start a relapse is well-founded. Keep them busy, but don't take them to places where they are tempted to gamble. If they decide to do it on their own, you won't have anything to feel guilty about.

DEAR ABBY: I became pregnant with my second child in 2013. When my extended family heard the news, it was not well-received, particularly by my grandmother and aunt-in-law. They said things like, "We love you, but we're embarrassed and ashamed." My once loving grandmother said some particularly cruel things.

I have to be honest -- I was angry. I swore at her after she accused me of "using" my partner of 10 YEARS to get pregnant. The gossip and hateful comments from my family shocked me to my core. I wasn't asking for a blessing, but unconditional love from this God-fearing woman was definitely expected.

Fast-forward to now: My grandmother continues to hold anger and resentment toward me. She says it's because I've "sullied our family name." I apologized for my outburst, but she won't forgive me. Now my uncle is blaming me for her poor health! I have forgiven her, but when I took my kids to her house, she slammed the door in our faces. I'm at a loss about how to fix this. Should I say, "So long, farewell"? What can I do? -- GIANT MESS IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR MESS: The person responsible for your grandmother's poor health isn't you -- it's her. It's not unheard of for people who hang onto anger and resentment the way she does to make themselves sick. That she would slam the door in the faces of her great-grandchildren is reprehensible.

You haven't sullied the family name, and you cannot fix this by yourself. The healthiest thing you can do, for yourself and your children, is move forward and don't look back.

DEAR ABBY: My family and I are planning a get-together. It has been several months since we have been together because of the pandemic. Our younger brother has a new girlfriend who was introduced to everyone at the last get-together.

That day, one sister mentioned a political proposition that was up for a vote in her state. The new girlfriend kept repeating "No politics!" every time my sister started talking about it. My sisters and I think it was very rude.

Now the new girlfriend will be in my home, and I am sure politics will be a topic of conversation, considering the current economic, political and health crises going on. My family likes discussing current events, and I don't feel we should be silenced because of a guest. How should this be handled so as to not offend and distance our brother's new girlfriend, but allow us to continue having conversations that are meaningful to us as a family? -- OUTSPOKEN IN FLORIDA

DEAR OUTSPOKEN: Someone, preferably your brother, should have a chat with this woman before the next family gathering and make clear that your family enjoys talking about current events -- politics included -- and she does not have the right to dictate to the rest of you what you can or cannot talk about. If the subject makes her uncomfortable, she should either move to another room or skip the event. This does not have to be said unkindly, but the rest of you should not be expected to kowtow to her.