DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I are middle-aged. We have been together for 2 1/2 years. I love him, and I'm grateful for such a wonderful man at this point in my life. My problem is, he calls me "Sweet Baby" every single time he addresses me. ("Sweet Baby, what do you need help with?" "Sweet Baby, I am on my way." "What did you say, Sweet Baby?") Even when it comes to trying to be affectionate, he'll say, "You're my sweet baby, aren't you?" He asks this over and over and over, and then says, "You're my sweet baby."

Abby, I could probably take it occasionally, but his continuous use of it now makes me cringe. I hate it! I have told him how much I'd prefer for him to use my name, but he won't. He continues with the "Sweet Baby" in texts, calls, in person -- constantly. I'm starting to wonder if he's doing it deliberately.

He, in turn, likes being called "Big Daddy," but I won't do it. He's not my daddy, and I don't care for pet names.

How can one little thing like that be so annoying, to the point that I'm beginning to avoid him and visit him less? It breaks my heart because we can have such a good time together, but he is ruining it. I'm trying not to end a wonderful relationship. I feel that by ignoring my request, he is being rude. Your advice? -- CRINGING IN THE SOUTH

DEAR CRINGING: Your boyfriend may be following a script he has written in his head. Has it occurred to you that "Sweet Baby" may be what he has called ALL the women in his life -- which would make it less a term of endearment than rote recitation?

After two years of this, you should have made clear to him that "Sweet Baby" is not only not having the desired effect, but it's making you cringe. While you are at it, tell him plainly that you have an aversion to pet names like "Big Daddy" because one daddy was enough for you, and you neither want nor need another one.

If you can't communicate what you really feel, then indeed this romance isn't going to last, so you might as well speak up.

DEAR ABBY: My 14-year-old son and I recently went to visit family a few hours away. We stayed at my mother's home. My mother overheard him talking to his male friend about engaging in sexual activity with him. He thought everyone was asleep when she overheard the conversation.

I never suspected that my son might be gay or bi. She told me in private the next day. Should I say something to him about what she heard? I don't want to embarrass him, and my mother doesn't want him knowing what she heard. Should I keep quiet? -- CAUGHT BY SURPRISE IN TEXAS

DEAR CAUGHT: Your mother may have misinterpreted what she heard. Your son is at an age when he is trying to figure out who he is. I don't think it would be constructive to talk to him about what she told you, so bide your time. Let him know you love him and are always available to listen and talk with him about anything that might concern him. But the topic of his sexual orientation should be raised by him, not you.

DEAR ABBY: I have come into contact with my first and forever love again after 30 years. We have had a few encounters throughout the years. When they happened, we fell right back into our comfort zone.

We both have current relationships with others that are not satisfying. We have both had failed relationships as well. No relationship I have ever been in compares to the one I have with this man. He's successful and buries himself in his work. Even though he never says it, I know in my heart he has hidden feelings toward me as well.

This man has held my heart my entire life. I never stopped loving him. Do I finally tell him how I feel and risk possibly losing him forever, or should I remain silent and enjoy the encounters we have when they happen? -- WANTS IT ALL IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR WANTS IT ALL: I think you should finally let this man know how you feel about him. If you do, it will either enable him to tell you he feels the same as you do, or stop you from fantasizing about a relationship that will never happen. If he is satisfied with the status quo, it doesn't necessarily mean these encounters will end, but at least you will know them for what they are.

DEAR ABBY: My mother has no faith in me, mostly because I have a disability. Even though it's not that bad, she still doesn't think I can do anything hard. Although I'm almost 40, she still tells me what to do and criticizes me in any way she can, including my parenting. I can't spend a day with her without wanting to come home and take a bat to the walls.

I have a lot of anger inside, and I don't trust her because she tends to tell her friends or family things I would rather were kept private. What can I do about this? -- IRRITATED IN ILLINOIS

DEAR IRRITATED: If this is any comfort, I receive letters with the same complaint as yours from readers who don't have disabilities. If your children are healthy and doing well and your mother's criticisms are baseless, my advice is to tune your probably well-meaning but overbearing mother out. Because she discusses things you confide in her with others, quit telling her anything you don't want broadcast. It's easier than trying to muzzle her. You might also consider seeing your mother less often, which could save your walls and the wear and tear on the bat you're tempted to use after those encounters.

DEAR ABBY: I would like to propose a new word for general use. It's "wasband." Definition: male to whom I am no longer married. Reason: "Ex" seems a pejorative term. I didn't want to add that burden to the baggage our kids may have picked up.

I have used it since the mid-1990s. I began to think of a new term when I was in a social situation with my wasband, his wife and mutual friends. I bumped into a colleague and wasn't quick enough to think of a polite term for my former husband, so I could only introduce him as "the father of my children." I think "wasband" is a less awkward term. What do you think, Abby? -- LOVER OF LANGUAGE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR L.O.L.: I think it is clever. The term is listed in the Urban Dictionary, and because you started using it so early shows you are one smart cookie.

DEAR ABBY: After using online dating for almost a year, I have met someone, and it's getting serious. Problem is, during some of our first conversations, he talked about his previous online experiences. One involved a woman who asked him for money and how stupid she must've thought he was. Another time, he told me he couldn't understand how a person could send money to someone they met online and had never met in person.

Well, this person (me), who he thinks is so smart and successful, is one of those who was drawn in by an online person. I sent money several times. I am a well-educated and successful professional who is so ashamed of this that I haven't gone to the authorities. I cut ties with the person to whom I loaned the money. He promised to pay me back, but I haven't seen a penny.

I haven't told a soul I did this. Should I disclose this to my boyfriend? I want to be honest with him, but I also wonder if what's in the past should be left in the past. Please advise me. -- ASHAMED SOUTHERN LADY

DEAR LADY: I see no reason for you to discuss this with the man you are currently seeing, unless it is to enlighten him that even well-educated, successful people can be gullible under the right circumstances. Fortunately for you, you weren't seriously damaged by the person's failure to repay you. (Other intelligent, but trusting, people have suffered irreparable damage.)

Because you feel you were taken advantage of, it couldn't hurt to notify the authorities. Yes it's embarrassing, but human beings make mistakes. If you were preyed upon and the person was a scammer, you might be doing someone else a favor by reporting it.

DEAR ABBY: My granddaughter-to-be is an absolute doll. She's perfect for my grandson, and I think they were meant for each other. My concern is her family. They treat her like Cinderella.

She cleans, cooks, does laundry and takes care of her disabled sister. She is 21, but because she's living with her parents until she and my grandson are married, she has to ask permission to go anywhere or do anything. She also believes everything they tell her, which is mostly B.S.

My fear is that her family will interfere with their marriage and expect her to still take care of her lazy relatives. She has told them things will change once she's married, but because she is easily manipulated, they will expect her to continue taking care of their household. How can I convince her to set boundaries without sounding like I'm trying to manipulate her myself? -- ONLY WANTS THE BEST FOR THEM

DEAR ONLY WANTS: Creating boundaries is going to be a new experience for this young woman. While it may eventually be liberating, it probably won't be comfortable in the beginning. Thankfully, she will have your grandson at her side to reinforce her.

Befriend her and listen when she needs to talk. With parents as controlling as you describe, she's going to need all the support and validation she can get. When she needs to strengthen her backbone, remind (don't lecture) her that as a married woman, her first priority must be her husband and -- if they are blessed with any -- her children, and repeat that important message often.