DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for a year. Recently, I have been questioning my sexuality and have realized that I am gay. I have been trying to think of different ways of telling her, but I don't want to hurt her. Please help. -- COMING OUT IN OHIO
DEAR COMING OUT: You are right: You must tell your wife, and the sooner, the better. She may -- or may not -- be shocked and possibly angry. During the talk, make clear that this has nothing to do with her, her attractiveness or femininity. Afterward, suggest she contact the Straight Spouse Network for support if she feels the need. It's an organization founded many years ago by Amity Pierce Buxton, Ph.D., to support heterosexual spouses of LGBTQ mates. Your wife can find it online at straightspouse.org, and I highly recommend it.