DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for a year. Recently, I have been questioning my sexuality and have realized that I am gay. I have been trying to think of different ways of telling her, but I don't want to hurt her. Please help. -- COMING OUT IN OHIO

DEAR COMING OUT: You are right: You must tell your wife, and the sooner, the better. She may -- or may not -- be shocked and possibly angry. During the talk, make clear that this has nothing to do with her, her attractiveness or femininity. Afterward, suggest she contact the Straight Spouse Network for support if she feels the need. It's an organization founded many years ago by Amity Pierce Buxton, Ph.D., to support heterosexual spouses of LGBTQ mates. Your wife can find it online at straightspouse.org, and I highly recommend it.

DEAR ABBY: My son has been married three times. After each divorce, he has expected me to distance myself from the ex's children. I have been Grandma to them, and this is driving us apart. My son says it's them or him! I'm heartbroken and want to maintain a relationship with both. Help! -- FOREVER GRANDMA

DEAR GRANDMA: That your son would deny his stepchildren contact with a loving grandmother because he's angry with their mother is terrible. You may wish to maintain a relationship with them, but because of your son's current mindset, it may not be possible.

Since you asked me to weigh in, my advice is to stop sitting on the fence. Maintain a relationship with them regardless of their "step" status. They need you. They need the validation that they are loved, which you can provide. As to your inflexible son, I can see why he has such terrible luck with women. It appears he still has a lot of growing up to do.

DEAR ABBY: I am an introvert, which may be hard to believe since I am the sixth child in a family of 10. I enjoy talking with my siblings. My problem is how to handle people who call and think I should be happy to chat about nothing of interest to me. During the pandemic this has become a major problem. -- NOT INTERESTED IN VIRGINIA

DEAR NOT INTERESTED: Your problem isn't unique. During this period of social isolation, social contact can be crucial in combatting depression. I'm hearing from people who say, "Every day is exactly the same as the last one. I have nothing to say to my spouse, my children, my friends, etc. I'm bored stiff, and I have become a boring person."

It is important that you allot some time to those who are reaching out, but it doesn't mean you must be a prisoner to long conversations. Tell the caller you're glad they are adjusting and maintaining their sanity. If you see something noteworthy on television, in your online research or a book you are reading, share it. But no law says you must remain on these phone calls for long periods or participate in them every day. Consider rationing them instead.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married five months. Her 40-year-old son lives in our basement. He has a job, but I have no idea if he pays rent. If he doesn't, it really doesn't bother me.

What does bother me is that at his age, he should be out on his own by now. He's trying to pay off school loans, which I understand. However, he is the one who incurred these bills. All he had to do was finish his dissertation and he would have had his doctorate. Instead, he quit school and doesn't plan on going back.

My wife doesn't think she's an enabler, but I disagree. It's getting very hard for me to put up with this situation. -- UPSET IN COLORADO

DEAR UPSET: Much depends upon the reason your wife's son quit school instead of getting that doctorate. I wish you had mentioned whether he has been living in his mother's house since childhood, or if this is something relatively recent. He may have emotional or mental health issues that need addressing.

Because this is creating friction in your marriage, it may be something you and your wife should talk through with the help of a licensed marriage and family therapist.

DEAR ABBY: I am 30 years old and single. I met this guy while I was working downtown three or four months ago. He is almost twice my age. At first I didn't think of him as more than just a customer, but he's very attractive for his age.

One day last month he told me he had lost his phone during my shift, so I asked him to give me his number so I could call him in case somebody found his phone, which I did. Later that night he called me asking, "Who is this?" so I told him who I was. We have been talking ever since and I have been spending every weekend at his house.

I'm starting to think I can see a future with this guy because I feel butterflies in my stomach. I like how things are between us. I care about him and maybe want more one day. What should I do? -- LIKING AN OLDER MAN

DEAR LIKING: What you should do is continue exploring a relationship and find out if he feels the same way you do. But the two of you should take things slowly and discuss the age difference before making any commitments. Although his age isn't necessarily a deal-breaker, it is significant.

DEAR ABBY: Am I hoping for too much with my husband of 40-plus years? In the evening, we (or I) watch TV, and he's very agreeable to "watch" anything -- mostly because he hardly watches at all. He's playing games on his iPad and glancing at the TV. He'll ask questions occasionally about the characters or the plotlines, but it's obvious he's not following. For some reason, I find it disappointing that he's not really watching, even if it's something he's shown an interest in or selected. Should I just be grateful he's in the same room with me and alive? -- FEELING SOLO IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR FEELING SOLO: Focusing on gratitude that you are together doing things you both enjoy is healthy. If you don't care for the program he isn't watching, feel free to change the channel to something you prefer. However, the two of you should make a point of doing something together in which you are both fully engaged because if you do, it will bring you even closer to each other.

DEAR ABBY: I am 19 and have been kicked out of my house. I'm grateful for everything my parents have done for me. My dad continues to compare me to my older siblings, although I'm the exact opposite of them. They are not going to college, they barely graduated from high school and continue to abuse alcohol and drugs.

I'm in college earning almost all A's. I graduated from high school with flying colors and have a steady job. I provide for myself (food, gas, buying anything I need) and pay for car insurance. I have tried my hardest to be the best daughter and a good influence for my younger siblings.

I have asked my father multiple times during the last year to stop comparing me to my older siblings. He hasn't. Our last conversation was a few weeks ago, when he told me to pack my stuff and get out of the house because I was an "ungrateful daughter" and "hoeing around just like my older siblings."

I have been focusing on my education and can't understand how he came to that conclusion. Frankly, I was very hurt he thought that of me. I'm not my siblings; I am myself, and I'm doing the best I can to give myself a successful future. My father refuses to see that. What should I do? -- BEWILDERED DAUGHTER IN TEXAS

DEAR DAUGHTER: I don't know what's wrong with your father, but something is. You appear to be mature and responsible and doing your best to lay the foundation for a successful future. I applaud you for it.

If it's possible for you to live elsewhere, perhaps with other relatives, and avoid your father's uncalled-for verbal abuse, it might be healthier for you. Do not expect him to be pleased about it, because no matter how hard you try, you may never be able to please him, so be prepared.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years. The one issue we argue about is religion. I am a Catholic and he's from another Christian denomination. I respect all religions and am open-minded.

However, after going to his church three times, I didn't like it at all. They have many strict rules which, if not obeyed, will result in a person being shunned. What kind of church does that? They compare Catholics to themselves and say everything Catholics do is wrong according to the Bible. I have never felt so unwelcome in my life.

My boyfriend's parents want me to convert, but I don't want to. Because of this, his relationship with his parents is being affected. He plans to quit his church and become an atheist. I don't know how to feel about this. It would be hard to convince him to join my church. We have had many fights over this, and I wonder if we should just break up. That way we wouldn't have to discuss who is converting or where we are going to marry. Please give me some advice. -- STRESSED IN THE ISLANDS

DEAR STRESSED: Considering the stance your boyfriend's family's religion has on marrying out of the faith, I'm surprised your relationship has made it this far. Fighting benefits neither of you. Talking about this calmly and rationally might bring you closer.

If he quits his church, his family and friends will make every effort to isolate and punish him. He may have to completely rebuild his social relationships. If he has any sort of religious inclination, rather than him overreacting by "becoming an (instant) atheist," the two of you might like to explore finding a denomination together that fills your needs. But be prepared for pushback because his parents (and possibly yours) are not going to like it.