DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married five months. Her 40-year-old son lives in our basement. He has a job, but I have no idea if he pays rent. If he doesn't, it really doesn't bother me.
What does bother me is that at his age, he should be out on his own by now. He's trying to pay off school loans, which I understand. However, he is the one who incurred these bills. All he had to do was finish his dissertation and he would have had his doctorate. Instead, he quit school and doesn't plan on going back.
My wife doesn't think she's an enabler, but I disagree. It's getting very hard for me to put up with this situation. -- UPSET IN COLORADO
DEAR UPSET: Much depends upon the reason your wife's son quit school instead of getting that doctorate. I wish you had mentioned whether he has been living in his mother's house since childhood, or if this is something relatively recent. He may have emotional or mental health issues that need addressing.
Because this is creating friction in your marriage, it may be something you and your wife should talk through with the help of a licensed marriage and family therapist.