DEAR ABBY: My oldest brother is running for a state office. Unlike me, he does not like animals. He has "hauled" litters of puppies off and shot at cats. In addition, he refuses to help our elderly parents. Family or not, I don't want someone to be a leader in our state capital who exhibits such poor moral and unethical behavior.

He has been married several times, and I know for a fact he cheated on one of his wives. I avoid attending his fundraisers and asking for votes, but other family members keep telling me that "blood is thicker than water," and that I "must" vote for him regardless of his behavior. Of course, behind the curtain I can vote for whoever I want, but should I cave to the pressure to show up in support of him at public events? Even my husband said I should donate money to his campaign because he is family. What is your opinion? -- NON-SUPPORTER IN THE SOUTH

DEAR NON-SUPPORTER: If you do not support a candidate, keep your checkbook closed. And as to showing up to endorse your brother's run for office, continue to refrain and cross your fingers that your absence won't be noticed amidst all the excitement. If your husband wants to donate to your morally degenerate brother's campaign, it is his choice, and he has a right to it just as you have a right to yours.

P.S. Anyone who would shoot at a defenseless animal and neglect his aged parents ("Honor thy father and thy mother") really doesn't belong in ANY office.

DEAR ABBY: My wife of 39 years decided two weeks ago to cease all communication with me. We had a sometimes-rocky marriage, but since becoming empty-nesters six months ago, we have enjoyed a rebirth of our relationship -- long walks, games, fun meals, concerts, etc.

Two weeks ago, we had what I thought was a minor disagreement about the use of a credit card. Since then she has treated me like I don't exist. She answers my questions with one word only or no response. I have begged her to talk to me about what's wrong; she just turns away. She has altered her daily schedule to avoid having contact with me. I am shattered. What can I do? -- CLUELESS IN TENNESSEE

DEAR CLUELESS: It's time to review why your marriage to this woman was "rocky." Stop begging, step back and count yourself fortunate that you have had this reminder. Counseling might help you and your wife to communicate in a healthier way if she is willing to try. However, if she isn't, you will have to decide how much more "punishment" you are willing to tolerate when you disagree, and what is realistic to do about it if you aren't.

DEAR ABBY: We have a neighbor whose adult son has gotten into trouble with the law. His mom and dad are devastated and have withdrawn from all of us. How do we handle it when we see them around the neighborhood? Do we ignore "the elephant" and just say hi? Do we ask them how their son is doing? It's so sad to see them suffer, and we don't know what to do. -- WHAT TO DO IN THE EAST

DEAR WHAT TO DO: When you see your neighbors, be cordial. Make polite conversation, and if they mention their son, listen to what they have to say and be supportive, but not judgmental.

DEAR ABBY: I recently welcomed my third child, a baby boy who was wanted and planned. We are overjoyed. Our two daughters are just under 10 years old. Over the years, my social circle has consisted mostly of the parents of my daughters' friends.

Abby, my news was met with mixed reactions. Some were thrilled for my pregnancy, while others were shocked. One woman even told me, "I'm just not in that phase of life anymore."

After my son was born, I didn't get visits or even a phone call from some of them. I announced his birth on social media and mailed out a beautiful announcement, but he hasn't been acknowledged nor have I been checked on.

I know he won't really be affected by this and I'm trying to focus on the positives. We have a big family on both sides, and many people within our community have warmly welcomed him. But I have been a good friend to these women, supported them in their times of need and even reached out during this pandemic to check on them in an effort to reconnect. I'm so disappointed. What am I supposed to say to these "friends" when I run into them again? -- NEW MOM AGAIN

DEAR MOM: When you encounter them, be cordial. Make polite conversation and ask how they and their families are doing. If they inquire, tell them you and your family are well. Then move on, recognizing you are dealing with individuals who are solely centered upon themselves. Do not attempt to revive a relationship with anyone who cares so little about you that they would treat you as they have, but do recognize how fortunate you are that you know not to invest more of your time or yourself in them.

DEAR ABBY: I divorced my abusive ex-husband and am happily remarried. I have a son and daughter from my first marriage. They saw a lot of physical and emotional abuse when they were young. I stayed in the marriage to keep the family together until I realized my children were being hurt in the process. My son witnessed more of the abuse than my daughter.

My son has constantly brought up the past and has never been able to make a decent living. He's married with three children, and they have lived with his mother-in-law for years. I have apologized many times for what happened in the past and asked for forgiveness. I don't know what else I can do.

I always send birthday and holiday money telling them that I love them, but for some reason they have stopped answering my calls or responding to my texts. I call them three or four times a year. They used to call me when they needed money, but now they don't call at all. Should I stop sending birthday checks? They missed Mother's Day and my heart is broken. I don't know what I've done wrong. -- PAYING FOR THE PAST

DEAR PAYING: You will never know what you "did wrong" unless one of your adult offspring decides to tell you. I hope you realize that you are being abused again, this time by two passive-aggressive adults. You are not the reason your son lives with his mother-in-law. As to your daughter, who knows her reason for radio silence?

Please stop flogging yourself. Start living your own life. Bind up that broken heart and focus on happiness with your new husband because, as things stand, you're not going to find much with these two. Send cards if you must, but omit the money. If you do, I'm sorry to say you may hear from them sooner.

DEAR ABBY: My 30-year-old daughter and her husband separated three months ago. After three years of marriage and months of counseling, she moved in with my husband and me. We were delighted.

She started spending a lot of time helping a male friend renovate his house and has essentially been living with him since the COVID outbreak. It's clearly more than a friendship. I have been open about my concern that she's rushing into this relationship. I encouraged her to see a counselor on her own, which she is doing.

Tonight she shared that she is excited that he booked a trip for them for late summer. I'm struggling because she is still married, and I feel uncomfortable about her relationship with this new guy. Am I too old-fashioned? -- WORRYING MOM IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR MOM: You are not too old-fashioned. You are the concerned mom of a woman who is on the rebound. Could it be she was already having feelings for this man as she was ending her marriage?

I'm glad she listened to you and was willing to seek counseling. You gave her good advice. May I suggest you offer her more? Suggest she talk to a lawyer about how her current arrangement might affect a divorce if she and her husband choose to go through with one. That she is essentially living with someone could be construed as having abandoned her husband, and it might prevent an amicable settlement.

DEAR ABBY: How can I converse with my parents who cannot and will not keep their political opinions to themselves? They literally cannot have a conversation of more than a few minutes that doesn't spiral into a litany of complaints about the government. I end every conversation angry, either at myself for not speaking up or at them for not shutting up.

It does no good to ask them not to discuss politics. They say they'll discuss what they want in their own home or remind me that -- when I was the one who initiated the call -- I'm the one who can end it if I don't like what I'm hearing. Heaven forbid anyone disagree with their opinions. They have cut off family and friends for decades over differences of opinion.

I suggested they volunteer in their political community in hopes of redirecting their obsessions into something positive, but they refuse. I'm at a loss. I no longer hope for a relationship with them. I need tips on how to speak to them with grace. -- TURNED OFF IN TENNESSEE

DEAR TURNED OFF: If what your parents do all day is listen to political talk shows, it may account for their "obsession."

When you call them, keep a list close by of things you want to tell them. Ask if they need anything you can provide, how they are doing healthwise, how they are managing with the social disruption that has taken place. Tell them how you are, what you have been doing and what you might have heard about family members or friends they know. Then, if the conversation veers into a political polemic, do as they have suggested. Make an excuse to end the conversation before it turns ugly.

DEAR ABBY: Is it appropriate to eat off a commemorative plate? -- WONDERING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WONDERING: If the plate can be washed without damaging it, it's fine, unless it's a Dear Abby commemorative plate, of course, in which case it should be treated with the same veneration one would treat a religious relic.