DEAR ABBY: In middle school, I had a crush on a boy. He didn't even know I existed. Through a chance meeting many years later, he noticed me, but there were complications. He didn't know how to tell his ex it was too late for her, and it became a love triangle. She saw the error of her ways and left. He and I have been together ever since. He still talked to her as they had been friends forever, but two months ago he stopped.

Meanwhile, through all of this, she has been cyber-stalking and manipulating me. She has created multiple Facebook accounts to torture me, sent me a video of my boyfriend doing sexual things and tried to make me believe it was current. (It was five years old.)

He cut off contact with her, and it was glorious until last week, when she helped him get back in touch with his son, whom he hasn't seen in 10-plus years. I see it for the manipulation it is, but he sees it as her redemption. He doesn't care that it hurts me, and he refuses to get rid of her.

She has slandered me all over Facebook, and I don't think he should expect me to be OK with this or for him to even WANT a person like that in his life. He was AMAZING without her influence. How do I get him back to that person? I miss him so much! -- ANGUISHED IN ARIZONA

DEAR ANGUISHED: Let me get this straight. This man cheated on his ex with you, and you expected her to play fair? I wish you had mentioned why your boyfriend hasn't seen his son in more than 10 years. It might have been the most interesting paragraph in your letter. Were he and his ex married? Just living together while she was "in denial"?

From where I sit, she is doing everything she can to fight for "her man." He appears to have fences to mend with his son and with her, and you may have to accept it. It looks like he has already made up his mind about that, and unless you can accept it, your romance will be over. Only you can decide whether staying with this person is worth the drama.

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law moved into the house next door three years ago. While I enjoy her company and like her as a person, I'm having difficulty expressing my frustration with one particular issue.

I have a beautiful hedge that separates our driveways and provides privacy. She regularly leaves her garbage can lids on top of my hedge as well as various other things she's discarding (eventually). Today I noticed a large portion of the shrub showing what appears to be a chemical burn. (She has been known to use toxic chemicals to rid her yard of weeds, etc.) I don't want to offend her, but at the same time, I'm struggling to find the words to properly address my desire for her to mind the property line. Help! -- RELATED TO MY NEIGHBOR

DEAR RELATED: This is something you should have addressed when the problem started. Approach her calmly and say something like this: "It bothers me that you leave your trash can lids and other items on my hedge. When you do, it makes me feel disrespected. Something you left on the hedge has damaged it. My hedge was expensive to install, and this is upsetting me. Please don't do it again."

DEAR ABBY: My roommate owns the house. His girlfriend and her two children are over here all day, every day. I have my own living room, office and bedroom, and we share the kitchen and bathroom.

I'm clean and respectful and try to mind my own business. The problem is, neither of them work. They drink heavily every day and then scream and fight for hours. Since COVID-19, they have been drinking even more and fighting constantly. Sometimes it gets physical.

My roommate is a verbally abusive drunk, and his girlfriend threatens to leave when he starts abusing her kids, but doesn't follow through. I have intervened a couple of times on behalf of the children, but there's only so much I can do.

Lately, they've been screaming at the top of their lungs about me. I work from home and often customers on the phone hear them drop F-bomb after F-bomb. I'm afraid their behavior will lead to me losing my job. They're also up until 2 or 3 a.m. every night fighting, which keeps me from sleeping (even with earplugs).

I'm completely stressed out and starting to get depressed. I'm not sure what to do. I have limited funds, so moving would be difficult. I'm wondering if you have any suggestions so I can weather the storm. -- BAD SITUATION IN UTAH

DEAR BAD SITUATION: This storm isn't going to end. I feel for the children whose mother doesn't protect them from her abusive boyfriend. The result will be they will think they deserve the mistreatment they are receiving, which may affect them for the rest of their lives.

I am not sure there is a way to "weather" the storm. Because these addicts cannot control their behavior, and it is affecting the way your clients perceive you, it would be better to get out of there. If possible, go live temporarily with a friend or relative until you find affordable alternative living quarters. Your job may depend on it.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter-in-law "Hannah" told one of my children that she is sorry she married my son. He does not know. They are both young adults.

Hannah and her mother had pushed for the marriage. She even bought her wedding dress before he proposed. My son loves her. He is special-needs, lower IQ and gullible.

What do I do with this information? It will hurt him, but I don't want him wasting years married to someone who doesn't love him. He deserves better than that. -- SAD MOM IN FLORIDA

DEAR SAD MOM: Your son needs to know what Hannah has been saying and receive as much support from the family as possible. I think the news should come from the person in whom Hannah confided rather than from you, which could be perceived as meddling. This should also be discussed with an attorney. I hope you will do it soon, before there are children involved.

DEAR ABBY: On May 3, you responded to a cancer patient about what to say to those who bring up her cancer. What do you recommend to readers whose good friends disclose their cancer for the first time? What can be said that shows concern, understanding and being supportive? -- AT A LOSS FOR WORDS

DEAR AT A LOSS: I will share what I have said to people I care about when told of their diagnosis. I hope it will guide you. I tell the person I am sorry to hear the person is having to fight that battle, that I will mention him or her in my prayers until remission is accomplished, and offer whatever emotional support the person is willing to accept from me. And then I follow through.

DEAR ABBY: May I share with you a way my husband and I are staying connected? My daughter came up with the idea. She and her daughter live a good distance from us. She decided the four of us should have a virtual dinner together three times a week.

We move our dining chairs together and position a tablet opposite us so we are visible on the screen. They do the same. We use FaceTime (Skype or a similar app would also work) to connect online. We set dinner on the table, say grace together and proceed to eat -- all the while talking, joking and laughing as if we were in each other's presence.

Abby, I can't tell you how much this has alleviated the feelings of isolation. We look forward to it all day. We phone, text and email at other times, as well, but these dinners together are a very special hour or more that give us a feeling of still being connected. It's a difficult time right now, but this is such a simple thing. I bless my amazing and wonderful daughter every day for thinking of it. -- STAYING CLOSE IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR STAYING CLOSE: For those who, because of travel restrictions or financial constraints, cannot be together in person, this is a tradition that could continue well after the quarantine has lifted. I, too, bless your amazing and wonderful daughter for coming up with the idea and you for sharing it. Salut and bon appetit!

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have about a dozen nieces and nephews on each side of our family. As each of them has married, we have given them generous gifts.

My wife and I have two adult children. When our daughter was married 10 years ago, she had a big reception, with all the best of everything. Our son chose to elope last year. He had a small ceremony when they returned -- just parents and grandparents.

My wife is now very upset that no one has acknowledged the wedding with even a card -- let alone a gift. Should we bring this up to our families? Is it customary to give gifts only when there is a traditional ceremony and reception? -- EMPTY-HANDED IN ILLINOIS

DEAR EMPTY-HANDED: I can see why your wife is upset. Because you have been so generous with your family members when they were married, it would have been thoughtful had they reciprocated with your son. However, the rule of etiquette is that gifts are required when someone accepts a wedding invitation, and your son chose to elope instead of having one, which may explain the lack of response from your relatives.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law is wigging out because I allow our two cats and our dog to lick mixing bowls and dinner plates before I put them in the dishwasher. We have an active, healthy family, with no allergies, chronic health problems or obesity. Our house is clean, although I wouldn't eat off my floors. Shoes are left in the laundry room. We have never even had a case of flu, thanks to flu shots, common sense and probably some luck.

Our dishwasher is set to do a long wash with a heated drying cycle. Am I terrible? I fail to see the problem, but she thinks I'm liable to poison the kids. -- WONDERING IN THE SOUTH

DEAR WONDERING: You are not going to poison the kids, yourself or her son, but you could cause problems for your feline family members if they happen to eat any garlic or onions. That said, you may give your mother-in-law a coronary if you continue letting her see what you have been doing. So, in the interest of family harmony, when she's around, cut it out.