DEAR ABBY: I recently lost a lot of weight and finally felt confident enough to start dating. I met a wonderful man I'll call "Teddy." We've been together for eight months, and I can see a future with him. He has some quirks with intimacy that he's working on and a few odd habits he is trying to break. I have my own eccentricities as well, but we are doing it together.

The problem is my sister. Ever since I started losing weight and trying to improve myself, she has become incredibly jealous. She has taken to making backhanded comments as often as she can. We had a huge fight where we didn't talk for two months because she thought I had "changed too much." The real reason was I wouldn't let her borrow a super expensive dress of mine.

I used to spend every weekend at her house hanging out with her. I would do her grocery shopping, lend her anything she wanted and defer to her because I was lonely. But now I spend most weekends with Teddy generally enjoying my life. She seems bitter that I no longer let her walk over me like a doormat. She keeps saying I should break up with Teddy so I can prioritize her again, and she tries to start fights between Teddy and me.

Abby, my sister is married and has a kid. She doesn't need me around so she won't be lonely. I don't want to cut her off because I love my nephew and would like to be part of his life. I also don't want to have to choose between my family and having a life that doesn't revolve around them. Please help me. -- CHANGING MY LIFE

DEAR CHANGING: If your description is accurate, you exist in your sister's universe only to fulfill her needs. That she would attempt to sabotage your relationship with Teddy is shameful. It should not be necessary to choose between Teddy and your family. What you must do is establish firm boundaries with her, enforce them and not knuckle under to the pressure she is exerting.

DEAR ABBY: I found $17 in the pocket of an old coat (great feeling -- it felt like free money!) and used it to buy myself some fast food. My fiancee is upset (which I think is uncalled for) that I didn't get her anything. That restaurant is expensive, and it's hard to buy two meals for that price. Plus, it was my money.

I think I should be allowed to spend money I find, especially since it was in my coat. Unfortunately, she didn't get any dinner that night. It has been a week now, and she's still upset with me about it. I never get anything for myself, and I feel I deserved a treat.

When I told her that night if she wanted dinner she should have looked for her own $17 in a coat, she threw my Xbox controller at me. It missed. It hit the wall and broke. Now I have to search through all my pockets because those controllers cost a lot more than $17. -- QUARANTINED IN INDIANA

DEAR QUARANTINED: And your question is? This is how you treat your fiancee? The least you could have done was get her a side of fries to eat with whatever was in the fridge as a main course. If you and this girl are still together, it's time for some serious apologies. On the plus side, now that the Xbox is history, you will have more time to work on your relationship.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has a bad habit of forgetting to lock up our house at night when he's the last one to come to bed. On nine occasions I have gone downstairs after he's in bed or awakened in the morning to find our sliding patio door or a garage door unlocked.

I cannot understand why this isn't a priority for him. If I'm the last one to come up for the night, I make sure each door is locked, lights are off, etc. It takes me less than a minute. We live in a suburb, and while our neighborhood is relatively safe and quiet, I'm not naive. I realize anything can happen anywhere.

We have two large dogs, but I have no idea how they'd react to an intruder. Frankly, I don't want to find out the hard way. The most frustrating thing about this is, when I try to talk to him about it the next day, he blows it off and says our dogs would never let anyone get far, or he makes a joke about it. I've tried many different approaches, from being calm and sweet to solutions-focused: "How can I help you remember?"

Recently, likely because I'm 37 weeks pregnant with our second child, I lost it and chewed him out after I waddled out of bed to go downstairs and found our sliding door unlocked. Needless to say, it didn't work very well.

I'm at my wits' end. It was one thing when it was just the two of us, but now we're about to have two kids under 2, and I get furious thinking he could be putting all of us in danger. He has taken no responsibility or steps toward fixing this.

I have now reached the conclusion that when I'm home, I must be the one who assumes the responsibility of ensuring our home is secure before we go to bed. But what if I fall asleep early or if I have to travel for work? Any ideas on how to address this with him? -- LOSING SLEEP OVER THIS

DEAR LOSING: You have already addressed this with your husband. That he is so careless about the safety of his wife and children is shocking. He appears to be very immature.

Because he seems incapable of assuming any responsibility for locking up, you are going to have to do it. There are high-tech ways to remotely lock doors from afar, and you should explore that option.

Also, for your own peace of mind, have a professional dog trainer or other experienced dog person enter your home through the unlocked door while you and your husband are upstairs because, while the dogs might not attack a stranger, they might alert you to the presence of an intruder. I suggest this because many years ago my very tame German shepherd did exactly that.

DEAR ABBY: Due to the coronavirus epidemic, handshaking is no longer being practiced. I have never been a fan of handshaking anyway. In the future, it may be acceptable to forgo handshaking altogether. What will be the best way to avoid it without seeming unfriendly or germophobic? -- RESISTING IN MINNESOTA

DEAR RESISTING: Try doing what I do. I place both palms together in front of my chest as though praying, smile and greet the person. No one has been offended by it, and it's a common way people greet each other in India.

DEAR READERS: Along with the millions of Americans who are observing this Memorial Day, I add my prayer of thanks for those courageous men and women who sacrificed their lives in service to our country. May they rest in peace. -- ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I'm engaged to a younger man with a 10-year-old son from his first marriage. My two daughters are grown.

My fiance and I have talked at length about my role in his son's life after we're married. The boy's mother will have him full-time; my fiance will continue to do his part as far as picking his son up from school, taking him to baseball practices and his baseball games, taking him to movies, etc.

I have been told he and his ex will continue to co-parent, and I will not have to be responsible in any way for this child. I have no problem with this. In my opinion, the boy's parents have the right to raise him as they please. Plus, as an older woman, I'm relieved I won't have to be responsible again for a child at my age. To me, this is a win-win, but my daughters think it is odd. Who is right? -- HANDS OFF IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HANDS OFF: You are. That boy is lucky to have responsible parents who are able to cooperate with each other in raising him. Your daughters are entitled to their opinions, of course, but you are also entitled to yours. Ignore them.

DEAR ABBY: I went to the grocery store today. I was wearing a mask and careful to keep my social distance. The store employees were also wearing masks and keeping their distance.

An older woman stood in front of the chicken for at least 10 minutes. When she finally moved aside, I went over to put some in my cart. She came back and gave me a lecture on which chicken was the best deal. I was horrified. I know she was trying to be friendly, but at this time of social distancing, the best way to be friendly is to give people their space in public!

This scenario seems to happen every time I go to the store. What's the best thing to say to these people? -- TRYING TO KEEP SAFE

DEAR TRYING: The woman may have forgotten for a moment what the new rules are. The best thing to say in that situation would be, "Thank you, but please, for your health and mine, step back and keep your distance."

DEAR ABBY: I read the "Definition of Maturity" in your column a while ago, and I would like to share a clipping I have been saving since the 1960s. It's from the Archdiocesan Council of Catholic Women Newsletter and titled, "A Short Course in Courtesy."

"The SIX most important words: 'I admit I made a mistake.' The FIVE most important words: 'You did a good job.' The FOUR most important words: 'What is your opinion?' The THREE most important words: 'If you please.' The TWO most important words: 'Thank you.' The ONE most important word: 'We.' The LEAST most important word: 'I.'"

The clipping is disintegrating on my fridge, but the saying has provided a life lesson I've lived by. In these times of uncertainty, it's a good reminder of how to treat others. -- N.Y. TRANSPLANT IN S.C.

DEAR N.Y. TRANSPLANT: I agree with the philosophy expressed in the item you shared. It is something to inspire us. Thank you for writing.