DEAR ABBY: My wife passed away, and I have fallen in love with her best friend. She feels she would be disrespecting my wife's name if she went out with me. How can I let her know my wife would not object to us dating?

I don't know how to get her to understand my vows to my wife have been fulfilled with her passing. I will never forget her, and she will always be in my heart. But I feel I have room in my heart for this woman. She is a great person, and at some point I would like to have her as my wife. Advice, please? -- GOING FORWARD IN TEXAS

DEAR GOING: You have stated your points both succinctly and pragmatically. It's understandable that you would be drawn to her, considering the close relationship you already had, I assume for many years. If you have told this lady what you have written to me as plainly as you stated it in your letter, and her feelings remain unchanged, it is possible that she is not as attracted to you as you are to her. And, if that's the case, she should say so in plain English so you can look elsewhere.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I got engaged a few months ago and have been getting mixed messages from our parents about our wedding next year. Overall, they seem happy for us, but they don't show much interest in our relationship, or the wedding either.

Since we are gay, we are unsure whose, if any, parents we should ask to help us pay for the wedding. My fiance's parents are very conservative and most likely wouldn't volunteer to contribute. My parents are likely the only ones who would help, but they haven't made any offers.

We both have full-time jobs, but they are middle to low income, so help would be appreciated. Part of me resents them for not offering any help since their parents pitched in for their festivities and because they will undoubtedly expect invitations. Any advice you can give would be appreciated. -- MARRYING IN THE WEST

DEAR MARRYING: Welcome to the world of gay weddings, a subject that has cropped up since 2015, when it was legalized in all 50 states. There are no hard and fast rules covering this. Modern couples, both straight and gay, often pay for their own weddings to the extent their budgets allow.

While you and your fiance might raise the subject of pitching in with your parents, in the interest of family harmony, please try not to do it with prior resentments or expectations. Whether they agree or decline, you will be fine, and your day will be special.

DEAR ABBY: I was invited to a baby shower. Because of the virus that's going around, many people weren't planning on going, so they canceled the party. Should I still take them the gift I bought for their baby? Or should I just forget it because they canceled the baby shower? -- BEARING A GIFT IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR BEARING A GIFT: Do not "just forget it." The kind -- and generous -- way to handle it would be to give the mother-to-be the gift, remembering that, in spite of the shower being canceled, she will need things for her baby.

DEAR ABBY: I had this friend that I met eight months ago at a local boxing gym here in Chicago. We got along extremely well and even hung out a couple of times. However, she left her job at the gym two months later and things started falling apart.

I started sending excessive messages on her social media, and she didn't like it. By the following month, she had enough. She told me I have an unhealthy attachment to her and we would go our separate ways. She blocked me from all social media, and she hasn't contacted me since.

Four months later, I am better, but she is still in my head. I really want to write her a nice and sincere letter and reconcile with her and have her be my friend again. I didn't know that I was doing something wrong.

I have tried reaching out to her multiple times recently via email, to no avail. In the meantime, one of her friends told me she has moved to Texas, which makes it even more heartbreaking. How can I show her I can be her friend again without exhibiting those same "toxic" behaviors? -- GUY WITH A WOUNDED HEART

DEAR GUY: You have already done enough. You have done so much, in fact, that the young woman felt she was being stalked. She has sent you clear signals that she's not interested in being friends -- or anything more -- with you. For your own sake, take the hint, leave her alone and, please, learn from this experience so you won't repeat it with someone else.

DEAR ABBY: I am 60, and my husband is 64. We lost everything in the recession. A dear friend helped us get back on our feet, and my son and husband built a home on land we purchased with our last dollar. We have a mortgage and all the bills that come with it. We have no savings, pension or life insurance. I work 40 hours a week, and my husband is partially disabled from an autoimmune disease.

My son, who is studying to become an RN, is 33. He lives with us and pays $550 a month, which pays the property taxes. He has slowly brought his girlfriend into our home, whom we like, but she does not contribute financially. I have asked my son for some extra money, and he refused. We will always appreciate how he pitched in and helped us in creating a new home. What can I do without starting a family war? -- KEEPING THE PEACE

DEAR KEEPING: It would have been interesting to know what reason your son gave you for his refusal. Continue talking with him about it. Unless the girlfriend is unemployed, she should at least pay for her food and a share of the utilities if she is living in your home.

DEAR READERS: This is National Women's Health Week. Because of the current health crisis, taking care of your health is now more important than ever. Make it a priority. Eat healthy, give yourself the gift of exercise, manage your stress levels, get the sleep you need, and schedule that appointment to see your doctor or dentist as soon as they are seeing patients again. Take steps to eliminate behaviors that put you at risk -- smoking, texting while driving and not wearing a seatbelt. Your health is your most precious possession, so please, take care of it. For more information, visit womenshealth.gov. -- Love, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married more than 40 years, but we have lived separately in a house and guesthouse on jointly owned property for the last 10. We split bills and communicate only when necessary via text.

I am somewhat afraid of him and try to distance myself from him and his friends and family. He has been involved with multiple women and men throughout our marriage, but when I have tried to end our marriage, he has pushed me to remain.

He is currently openly involved with a woman he has "dated" for many years. Several acquaintances recently informed me that the two of them are sporting matching wedding bands. I don't really care, but I don't want any further humiliation. I feel like a sword is hanging over my head. What can I do? -- ARRANGEMENT IN THE EAST

DEAR ARRANGEMENT: What you can do is contact an attorney. Tell the attorney exactly what you have told me -- that you and your husband haven't cohabited in a decade, that he and his longtime girlfriend are purporting to be married and wearing matching wedding bands, that you want a divorce, but you are afraid of his reaction. The lawyer can guide you from there. Please don't wait.

DEAR ABBY: I am a woman who has had genital herpes since I was in my 20s. I'm single and in my 60s now. I have always disclosed that I have it and that I treat it daily with medication that suppresses the virus. I have never infected anyone -- including my former husband and boyfriends. I do not have outbreaks.

I am often rejected by the men I disclose this to. It is demeaning and painful and makes me feel dirty, which I am not. I'm tired of it. Must I continue to disclose it? I know for sure that I am not passing it on. I haven't given it to anyone in 40-plus years. -- REJECTED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR REJECTED: Tempting as it may be to fudge the truth, I think you should continue to be honest about your status. If you lie and the person you are involved with finds your medication, the relationship will be over anyway.

I don't know if you have considered this, but have you thought about dating men who also have herpes? A website that has been mentioned in my column before is H-date.com. If you meet someone there, you know you won't be judged. It offers a free dating service through which thousands of men and women meet. Many very nice, eligible people -- people just like you -- have herpes and live full, happy lives.

DEAR READERS: I want to wish a very Happy Mother's Day to mothers everywhere -- birth mothers, adoptive and foster mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers who are raising their grandchildren and dual-role dads. Orchids to all of you for the love you give not only today, but also each and every day. -- LOVE, ABBY