DEAR ABBY: I met a young couple about a year ago. They invite me out for lunch every few months. They have several children they allow to run all over the place, climb over and under the table, cry and whine, and they make no effort to teach them proper behavior in restaurants. It's so annoying and embarrassing that I no longer want to go out with them. I cannot believe that they turn their children loose in restaurants without acknowledging that they are creating a not-so-nice experience for other diners.

If they ask me why, should I make up an excuse or tell them how I feel about their lack of parenting? I suspect they will be hypersensitive to any remarks I make, but I can't enjoy my meal while their children run wild. Those children need to learn some manners. I would rather eat out by myself than experience another episode. -- ALONE BUT NOT LONELY

DEAR ALONE: Rather than let these parents have it with both barrels, the next time you are invited to lunch, ask if the children will be included. When they tell you the kids are coming -- which they will -- respond that you would prefer "adult time." It would get your message across without it appearing you are criticizing their parental abilities.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I disagree about what a comforter is for. She says a comforter is decorative and should not be used as a blanket; I say it's OK to use it as a blanket. She says I was never taught that it's for decoration only. Is she right? -- DECORATION OR COMFORT

DEAR D OR C: Your wife is mistaken. Many people use their bedspreads and comforters as blankets. The main difference between them is a comforter is more insulated and offers more warmth. According to a leading online retailer, a bedspread is defined as "a lightweight, decorative bed covering that can be used in warm weather or as a decorative addition to a comforter in cold weather."

DEAR ABBY: I am a 26-year-old college graduate. I immigrated here in 2001, so English is my second language. I have no accent, and I have been doing well in my life overall, except I score low on reading and written communication when I take exams.

I'm intelligent and a quick learner, but my vocabulary is kind of limited, and it makes me feel stupid, especially when I don't score well on exams. I try to read, but I don't always have the time. Do you have ideas on how I can improve my vocabulary or do better on exams? -- SMART BUT FEELS STUPID

DEAR SMART: I know someone who, like you, immigrated to the United States in her early 20s after having spent her first 17 years in Russia. From there she went to Italy, where she learned to speak Italian. From there she came to the U.S.

When I asked her how she learned English, she told me it was by watching American television. If there was a word she didn't understand, she would look it up in a dictionary. Not only can this be fun, I have heard others say that's the way they learned English, too.

She also read books in English with a dictionary by her side. Audiobooks could be helpful, too. An adult education class might help you not only improve your vocabulary, but also help you sharpen your written English skills. Please consider it.

DEAR ABBY: My 11-year-old niece sometimes calls my 7-year-old son fat, which hurts him to the core. He's very close with his cousins, and we get together a lot. I have talked to my sister on numerous occasions about it.

My son knows it's not OK to make fun of how others look, and he doesn't understand why she says these mean things to him. She's old enough to know better. I don't know how to get through to my sister that this behavior should be reprimanded when she doesn't seem to care. -- FED UP IN WISCONSIN

DEAR FED UP: Your sister's parenting skills appear to be questionable. Because she refuses to teach her daughter consideration for the feelings of others, or reprimand her when she's cruel and hurtful, see less of the two of them and spend more time with the other cousins.

DEAR ABBY: When I take my dog for a walk, I always carry little doggy bags and pick up his business. I live in a residential neighborhood with alleys behind the houses. After my dog does his business, I pick it up and often throw the tied-up bag in a trash can along the alley. Is this rude? Is it illegal to put things in other people's trash cans? My dog may make several stops along our long walks, and I don't want to carry his waste with me the whole trip. -- CONSIDERATE IN COLORADO

DEAR CONSIDERATE: Whether it's illegal in your community is something you should check locally because there may be an ordinance that forbids it. While I can't speak for everyone, some of the homeowners those trash cans belong to would strenuously object to someone throwing dog doo-doo into them. That's why my advice is, "When in doubt -- don't."

DEAR ABBY: I was married for more than 20 years and am recently divorced. I should have done it years ago, but my son, "Nicky," begged me not to. He's 22.

I am now dating a gentleman, "Clyde," and am very happy to be in this relationship. Clyde treats me like a queen. I have known him longer than I've known my ex-husband. He and his family (including his ex-wife) are close friends.

Before we started dating, Clyde called my ex, told him we were going to start seeing each other and that he wanted my ex to hear it from him, not through the rumor mill. My ex said he was fine with it and thanked him for letting him know.

We then informed Clyde's kids and my son. Everyone was fine with it except Nicky. He's upset that we started dating three months after my divorce. Mind you, my marriage to Nicky's father was over years ago. Clyde had nothing to do with it. Now my son has an "attitude" with Clyde. He hardly speaks to him and never spends time with us.

I have always been there for Nicky. His actions hurt. He can't seem to accept that I'm happy and that Clyde and I are more than friends now. Before we started dating, Nicky and Clyde had a good relationship. How do I get my son to come around? -- SECOND CHANCE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR SECOND CHANCE: Nicky may be hoping that you and his father might one day reconcile and regard Clyde as an interloper. Explain to him that the divorce may seem recent to him, but for you and his dad, it was the final step in disengaging from a marriage that had been over for years. Tell him you love him and are sorry he is upset, but it's no excuse for treating Clyde badly, and you expect him to treat Clyde with respect, if not affection. Then go on and enjoy your life because you deserve it.

DEAR ABBY: My children attend a school where they are in three different buildings. One is in high school, one in middle school and the youngest is in elementary. Recently, the married elementary school principal had an affair with a married teacher's assistant. A few years before, the married middle school principal had an affair with a married teacher.

My concern is that the administration knows this but does nothing about it. I have addressed them with my concerns. I believe there was an abuse of power. If they are willing to sweep this under the rug, what else have they swept? Should I mind my own business or pursue the issue further? -- MOM ON PATROL IN NEW YORK

DEAR MOM: Because of the litigious environment we live in, many businesses and educational institutions have policies that discourage fraternization. What you consider an abuse of power may be a relationship between consenting adults. You say you have brought this to the attention of school administration. I think you have done enough. From now on, stay out of this unless you have absolute proof there is coercion involved.