DEAR ABBY: I'm 16 and have had trouble with romance for as long as I can remember. I've had almost 80 crushes since kindergarten. I counted.

Right now I am close to a relationship with a boy at my school who is a year older. I have had feelings for "Ben" for almost a year, and I found it was mutual a few months ago. He invited me to coffee but later canceled, explaining that he wasn't emotionally prepared, which was clear. He feels the way he does for a reason. Ben is a transgender male, and his mother disapproves, as do many of our classmates.

Two months ago, we agreed to be "just friends ... for now." Since then, no feelings have changed for either of us. However, I know Ben still isn't ready, largely because of his mother's and his classmates' influence.

I'm getting impatient. I've been in relationships before, the middle-school kind, and I know how my brain functions. Right now, I worry obsessively about how he feels. This will subside after a real relationship starts. But before that happens, the issue is all-consuming. I constantly rehash concerns we need to talk about in my mind, and I don't know how to ignore them until we can speak again. It makes my grades suffer.

I blame Ben's mother and classmates for the stress he's under. They're the reason for his dysphoria and panic attacks. I'm angry. I want her to leave her son alone. How can I wait peacefully and get over my bitterness toward his mother? -- CRUSHING TEEN IN OHIO

DEAR TEEN: Anger, frustration and bitterness can make people sick. You need to find ways to get your mind off this budding romance and channel these negative emotions, if only because Ben isn't ready for what you have in mind. Bear in mind that he is on a long and complicated journey. (Give him props for honesty.) Then buckle down and concentrate on your schoolwork, find a sport or other activity you can involve yourself in and, if your school doesn't have a Genders and Sexualities Alliance, consider going online to gsanetwork.org and starting one at your school.

DEAR ABBY: I work in the medical field in a family practice. I love my job and helping people, but the problem is, my boss never tells the truth to our patients and overcharges them anytime he gets a chance. The sicker the patient, the more heartless he is with them. He has told some patients that we, the assistants, told him they owe him money.

It has reached a point where I cannot handle it anymore. Knowing that I see everything he does, he now can't stand me and constantly criticizes everything I do. He has become verbally aggressive and abusive.

I know this is unhealthy for me. I have insomnia because of it, and when I do get to sleep, I have nightmares about this situation. Abby, please help me because I do not know what service to contact to make a complaint against him. -- SCARED IN GEORGIA

DEAR SCARED: Document everything you have observed. Then talk to your local police about possible fraud being committed by your employer. Next, contact your state medical board and report what has been going on at the expense of the patients. If these patients are senior citizens, reach out to your Area Agency on Aging (aging.georgia.gov/locations), because the "good doctor" may be committing elder abuse, which could land him in the prison system.

DEAR ABBY: I have carried a worn clipping of your "Definition of Maturity" with me for many years because it has been inspirational to me. I even gave a copy of it to my younger brother.

Is it part of one of your publications? I feel it is relevant today because both the young and old could use a lesson in respect and self-respect. Can you reprint it? -- FRANCES IN DALLAS

DEAR FRANCES: With pleasure! Here it is:

DEFINITION OF MATURITY

Maturity is:

The ability to stick with a job until it's finished.

The ability to do a job without being supervised.

The ability to carry money without spending it.

And the ability to bear an injustice without wanting

To get even.

This definition of maturity is included in my booklet "Keepers," a compilation of humorous and inspirational items -- poems and short essays -- that readers have asked me to include in my column because they held special meaning for them. Many, like you, also have said they kept the articles until they were worn and yellowed with age. Many readers suggested the articles be put together in a booklet. Filled with clever observations, "Keepers'" subjects are diverse, covering a variety of topics, including parenting, children, aging, animals, forgiveness, etc. My booklet can be ordered by sending your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to Dear Abby Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. Filled with down-to-earth nuggets of wisdom, both witty and philosophical, the "Keepers" booklet is an inexpensive, welcome gift for newly married couples, pet lovers or anyone recovering from an illness. It's also an inspiring, positive, quick and easy read for anyone who could use a lift!

DEAR ABBY: I've been friends with "Brenda" for nearly 40 years. We've had our share of tough times, but I've always been a good friend to her even though it felt one-sided. The last straw for me was a few months ago, when I had major surgery.

I didn't hear from her for three weeks, and when she did call, she talked about her life the whole time and showed no interest in how I was doing. Brenda has now had major surgery. Two weeks have gone by, and I haven't called her. I want her to have a taste of her own selfish medicine.

I have been upfront with her in the past that she hasn't always been there for me. She apologizes but nothing changes. Am I being too sensitive about her lack of caring about anyone but herself? -- OVER IT IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR OVER IT: I don't think so. But if you step back and review your relationship with Brenda, you will realize that it has always been this way. Perhaps it's time to reevaluate whether maintaining the kind of relationship you have with her is worth the effort because, after 40 years, she isn't going to change. Either accept her as she is or move on.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are not on the same page about helping with the grandkids. We moved here six years ago to be closer to my daughter, her husband and their two daughters. The older one is 9, and the younger is 6.

Although the 6-year-old has multiple physical challenges and developmental delays, our son-in-law thinks "we" babysit far too often. My intention is to help my daughter with the challenges that a special needs child presents to the family. Mostly, I am the one providing the care; my husband does the minimum.

Every time I agree to watch the children, I feel huge stress because I know my son-in-law will complain about it. It's tearing me apart. Thank you for listening. Just writing this helps. -- HELPING IN THE EAST

DEAR HELPING: I agree that parenting a child with special needs is challenging. You are a loving, caring mother and grandmother, but this is something your daughter and her husband have to reach a meeting of the minds about. The last thing she needs is dissension in her household. Counseling for them might help your son-in-law understand that your daughter's health might be compromised if she does everything herself. Some sort of compromise about your level of involvement could be key.

As to your husband, I'm not sure what more you think he should be doing. He agreed to move closer to your daughter so you could help her. It has to have been disruptive for him. Please give him points for that, because I do.

DEAR ABBY: I have a couple of weddings coming up, and I have a small dilemma. They are both in my husband's family and only a month apart. One is his brother's, and the other is his cousin's. My question is, can I wear the same dress to both weddings?

I normally don't care about what people think, but I also don't want to be the subject of ridicule or scorn at a family event. I'll also add, it's not about financial concerns. It's just that it's a beautiful dress, and I really don't see the point in going out and getting another fancy dress. I worry about pictures at both weddings. I guess I'm confused and could really use some advice. -- BEAUTIFUL DRESS IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR BEAUTIFUL DRESS: You are not a Hollywood actress during awards season, who "must" have a radically different look for each ceremony. Your family weddings are special events, but there is no reason you can't use the dress you have in mind for both. If you're afraid it may cause a problem in wedding photos, consider accessorizing your dress differently for each one -- gold jewelry for the first, silver for the second and a different colored shawl or wrap. I'm sure you can pull this off. Please write back and let me know.

CONFIDENTIAL TO MY IRISH FRIENDS:

May you always have

A sunbeam to warm you

Good luck to charm you

And a sheltering angel

So nothing can harm you.

Laughter to cheer you

Faithful friends near you

And whenever you pray,

Heaven to hear you.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY! -- LOVE, ABBY