DEAR ABBY: I am a gay woman. My male best friend has had a crush on me for more than a year. It is so intense that he is almost delusional. We have talked extensively about it. He knows where I stand and that it will never happen, and he says he accepts that. But he can't stand the thought of me spending time with a woman, even if it's just a friend. He wants all of my time and doesn't want to share me, even with mutual friends.

Here's the kicker: I had invited him to move back to my college town with me. We both thought that moving to a big city would open up more dating opportunities for us and help him get over me. It was an ordeal for him, but he put in a ton of work to be able to move. We planned to be housemates. This happened during a time when we thought he was feeling more resolved about our relationship.

We have been staying with my relative while we search for a house in the big city, so we are trapped in the same space, and he has nowhere else to go. Since moving in together, his feelings for me have resurged. I no longer want to be roommates because of his possessiveness. But it would devastate him if I left him alone here, especially since it was my idea to go, and I was meant to be his support system. I feel like I am trapped in his drama and cannot live my life without ruining his. Please help! -- TRAPPED LESBIAN IN THE WEST

DEAR TRAPPED LESBIAN: Do not rent an apartment with him or buy a house! To do so would be an expensive mistake. You cannot fulfill his needs. If you allow this to continue, he will destroy every opportunity that comes your way because it will be a threat to his fantasy.

He needs to find other living arrangements NOW, and you and your relative should insist upon it. This is not going to have a fairy-tale ending, and you probably will not remain friends as you move along with your life. But move along is what you must do, for both your sakes.

DEAR ABBY: I went out of town on a business trip with two co-workers (both females), and the trip was a success. We got along great and accomplished all of the goals we set for ourselves during our stay.

During the few outings we had off company time, however, there were moments when we all wanted to link up and do everything together but our stomachs disagreed. If I wanted to go to breakfast at 8 a.m., someone would want to go at 11 a.m., or another co-worker wouldn't want to go at all. Another example is, we would plan dinners (after touring the city all day) at a certain time, but it was so late my stomach would growl loudly.

I understand that flexibility is key, but my metabolism works overtime compared to theirs. How do I go about venturing off on my own for food without coming across as rude or looking like I'm not a team player? -- HUNGRY MAN IN NEW YORK

DEAR HUNGRY MAN: Explain it to your co-workers as you have to me. If your body is signaling that you must eat something NOW, you need to do it -- if only enough to take the edge off your hunger. To do that isn't rude. Taking care of yourself is important, and it doesn't mean you aren't a team player. Perhaps you should carry something with you to tide you over from meal to meal.

DEAR ABBY: I dated a guy for 10 months. We constantly fought because of his lack of trust. He had been burned in previous relationships. He said, "Trust is earned, not given," which isn't my philosophy.

After a recent argument (about lack of trust), I told him this attitude is a deal-breaker, and he needed time to reflect on his issues. I talked to him several days a week during the process, and we weren't intimate during that time.

I decided to have dinner with him at his apartment last night to further discuss the situation, only to have an old girlfriend ring his doorbell, upset. It seems that during the last five weeks, he had started seeing her again and slept with her while attempting to make amends with me. When I asked about her, he told me he thought we were done, and he was trying to put a Band-Aid on his pain. What to do?

He has great qualities but is so jealous and suspicious. Will he ever improve, or will I always be trying to prove myself? I believe he cares for me, but his actions with the old girlfriend negate this. I cannot even begin to rationalize his thought process. -- GETTING TIRED OF IT

DEAR GETTING TIRED: This guy is suspicious because HE isn't trustworthy. There's a saying attributed to historian, civil rights activist and author W.E.B. Du Bois: "A man does not look behind the door unless he has stood there himself." People are often jealous and controlling because they are insecure. Your boyfriend ran back to his old girlfriend because he was unable to be alone, even for a brief period. Be smart. Wake up and lose him. You can do better.

DEAR ABBY: My father was physically abusive to me when I was a child, and distant and emotionally abusive when I was a teenager. Because of it, I had low self-esteem and was extremely depressed for most of my life. I confronted him when I was an adult, and he tried to explain why he was that way, but never apologized.

He is now 93 and in a nursing home. He probably won't be alive much longer. I would like to get closure by telling him the extent to which his behavior damaged my life, but I know it would hurt him. Should I look for the closure I have needed all of my life, or keep it to myself to spare his feelings? -- HURTING STILL IN COLORADO

DEAR HURTING: If you have things you need to get off your chest to your father, as painful as they may be, then do it. Explain calmly, in an even tone of voice, how important validation is to children as they develop, and how deeply his physical and emotional abuse has affected your life. I agree that he owes you an apology, but do not go there expecting one because he may be incapable of it.

DEAR ABBY: Today I was in a small neighborhood restaurant with a friend. I ordered a special burger. When the cook brought it to the table, my friend immediately pulled out her camera and snapped several shots. A stranger who had been sitting at the bar jumped off his stool and came over to our table with his camera. I'm not sure how many photos of my meal were taken before I was able to start eating. My friend was logging onto Facebook to post before I took my first bite. I was dumbfounded. What can be said to people who are this rude? -- GET IT WHILE IT'S HOT

DEAR GET IT: What can be said? Plenty -- starting with, "Knock it off!" or "I don't like that!" Talk about an invasion of privacy as well as personal space. I don't blame you for feeling invaded.

DEAR ABBY: Fifty years ago, at the age of 17, I was raped by a high school classmate. At the time, I was living in an apartment with a friend, "Becky." She and three male classmates witnessed the attack, stood by and did nothing. (They were drunk.)

I never reported the assault because I was scared, embarrassed and ashamed. No one ever spoke about it, and Becky and I went our separate ways. I eventually married, moved away from my hometown and tried to put the incident behind me.

Fifteen years ago, I moved back and married a local man. I see all those people frequently around town, which reminds me of that terrible night. I don't think it's fair that I have had to live with this for 50 years while the others appear to have forgotten and gone on their merry way. None of them ever apologized or acknowledged their part in the attack. I remember it as vividly as if it were last week.

I would like to confront those involved. A friend suggested I privately confront my attacker. I believe calling out these people will give me peace of mind. My husband and I are planning to move out of the area, so I will never have to see any of them again. Should I confront all of them or just my attacker? Or should I let sleeping dogs lie? -- ASSAULTED IN IDAHO

DEAR ASSAULTED: Before deciding whether to confront these people after 50 years or let sleeping dogs lie, what I think you should do is discuss what happened with a licensed therapist, specifically one who works with patients who have PTSD. Whereas a half-century ago there was a tendency to blame the victims of sexual assault, we have come a long way since then, and help is available for you if you're willing to get it.

A way to find help in making this important decision would be to contact RAINN (rainn.org). The toll-free phone number is 800-656-4673. RAINN is the free, confidential national sexual assault hotline, and it's available 24/7.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a beautiful 77-year-old woman in excellent health who has fun traveling internationally. I will soon be taking my oldest daughter to Europe at my expense because I want a companion.

I'm 19 years older than she is. She also is in great health and has a fun-loving personality. We look like sisters and have fun together wherever we go. However, I don't want her to call me "Mom" while we are out in public places. Can I ask her not to call me that?

She is stubborn and always has been, but I love her and want her around while I'm traveling, rather than friends. She's single, but I'm not. My husband can't go because of health issues.

I need my daughter to go with me. Can you give me some ideas on how to approach her to not call me "Mom" in public? What if she refuses to go with me? -- ONE STIPULATION IN THE SOUTH

DEAR STIPULATION: I can't help but wonder why not being called "Mom" is so important to you. I have read your letter several times, and I'm struck by the fact that it's all about you and what you want. Your daughter is long past 21, and I'm sure she can make her own decisions. You can ask her not to call you "Mom," but whether she will agree and won't forget to not address you that way is anyone's guess. Old habits die hard.