DEAR ABBY: I've got a new one for you. My beautiful 16-year-old daughter was interested in a boy her age from school. He was interested in her, too. He told her he wanted to date her, but that he is "polyamorous" and would be dating many girls simultaneously. She told him he's too young to know what he is yet, and he was just using it as an excuse to date multiple girls, and she wasn't interested.

They are part of the same friend group. He has been acting very hurt, pouty and angry. He told a mutual friend he is "deeply hurt" he came out to my daughter and that she won't accept him as he is. I'm worried this will escalate, and he will claim that she shamed him for this.

Abby, I am all about supporting how people self-identify, but this is absolutely ridiculous. What are your thoughts? Is this the new normal? If you refuse to date a boy who dates a ton of other girls simultaneously, does that make you guilty of shaming? Personally, I think it's hilarious that this is the new excuse to be promiscuous and so does she, but I won't be laughing if we get called into the principal's office. -- NOT FUNNY IN COLORADO

DEAR NOT FUNNY: That boy is sulking because his pitch didn't sell. Polyamory is the practice of openly engaging in multiple intimate relationships with the consent of ALL the people involved. What that boy may have meant was he enjoys "playing the field." Your daughter didn't discriminate; she showed good common sense. If the principal hears about it, the administrator not only won't call your daughter into the office, I'm pretty sure the person will get a chuckle out of this.

DEAR ABBY: Our brother-in-law made a terrible mistake and is now serving time. My younger sister, "Tess," and I have visited him on a few occasions. We support him by listening and have told him that although he made a horrible mistake, he has to move forward.

Well, something happened that has put a damper on things. This brother-in-law sent Tess a letter, and in it he confessed to her that he had a dream, and she was in it. It wasn't a horrible letter, but I believe it was very inappropriate. He alluded to the fact that it was a sexual dream.

Tess has asked me if she should let our older sister, "Jane," know what her husband wrote. Jane has been through so much, so I told Tess it would not be a good idea to disclose it and add to her misery. Tess says it isn't fair to her to have to swallow this pill for the sake of not making waves. She feels Jane should know what kind of man her husband is. Abby, Jane knows exactly what kind of man she has. Part of what he did wrong was have a cyber affair.

Should Tess inform Jane that her husband has been inappropriate? She now refuses to visit our brother-in-law and has basically written him off. Please give me your opinion and advice. -- TORN UP OVER THIS IN TEXAS

DEAR TORN UP: Tess is right. It appears incarceration hasn't discouraged your brother-in-law from writing inappropriate material to inappropriate recipients. Tess should not be discouraged from informing Jane about what her husband has done and showing her the letter, if it is still in her possession. Jane has a right to know. Please respect that Tess needs to distance herself from this troubled individual and his fantasies, and don't encourage her to visit him again. In light of what's happened, I'm not sure you should either.

DEAR ABBY: A year ago, my brother "Leon" had a nervous breakdown at work due to a co-worker constantly harassing him. He's currently under the care of a therapist through his workplace and has not worked for a year.

Recently, at a family get-together, I asked him a question about his current situation. He became angry and very emotional. He accused me of "not listening" and went through the process of re-describing in detail how the co-worker harassed him. He then became confrontational, as if I were on trial. His adult daughter kept her head down, until she finally told her father that I only asked him the question because I loved him and was concerned for him. My niece and her sister both tried to de-escalate the situation, but were unsuccessful.

After he was done with his tirade, he proceeded to harass and belittle me! At that point, I got up and told my husband privately that I wanted to leave, which we did. This isn't the first time my brother has behaved this way at a family get-together. He acted out toward family members long before the incident at his workplace.

I enjoy being with my family, but Leon has made it unpleasant for me, and I don't like how I must walk on eggshells around him to prevent a confrontation. How do I handle this in the future and still have fun with my family? -- LINE OF FIRE IN OHIO

DEAR LINE OF FIRE: It appears your brother is not progressing well with his therapy, which is sad not only for him but also anyone who has to interact with him. Because you are no longer willing to tolerate his abuse, a logical answer would be to see your relatives in situations where he isn't included. Consider doing some entertaining on your own, because in that way, you can control the guest list.

DEAR ABBY: I was adopted at birth. About 30 years ago, I found my birth mother, but our relationship is intermittent and distant. She only recently gave me a name of my biological father. Through DNA testing I have discovered that the name she gave me was incorrect and who he actually was. The confirmation is rock solid with half-sisters and several first cousins located.

My birth mother is 90 now. Should I tell her what I have found out or let it go? All of the direct players in this, except her, have passed on. -- TRUTH-TELLER IN TEXAS

DEAR TRUTH-TELLER: How mentally "with it" is your 90-year-old mother? If she's in the early stages of dementia, what have you to gain by telling her? If she's sharp as a tack, one has to wonder why she would try to obscure your bio-father's identity. Was she attempting to protect herself, him or you? Or was she unsure of his identity because she had been raped or was seeing more than one man? These are questions I can't answer for you.

It shouldn't create a bombshell if you approach the subject by telling her you have uncovered some information about your biological relatives. If she is interested, tell her everything. If not, let it be.

DEAR ABBY: Our son "Greg" has come out as gay. My husband can't accept it and refuses to meet Greg's boyfriend. Our other son is getting married (to a girl), and Greg will be bringing his boyfriend. My husband says he won't come to the wedding because our son's boyfriend will be there. He says it would "make a mockery" of the wedding. He has not told them yet.

I have tried everything I can to convince my husband to come. I told him this will destroy our family and marriage. He said he doesn't care! I told him this has nothing to do with the wedding. He will embarrass both sides of the family. He finally admitted he just doesn't want to see Greg's boyfriend. I told him he doesn't have to talk to him, but no argument works. I know our children will never speak to him again. I cannot stay married to him if he does this. I have no idea what to do. -- SUPPORTIVE MOM IN NEW YORK

DEAR MOM: Tell your husband, as calmly as possible, that the wedding isn't the only milestone in his sons' lives he will miss unless he has an attitude adjustment. Skipping the wedding will be just the beginning of his isolation because he will be absent from other important family milestones -- celebrations, christenings, birthdays, sporting events, recitals and graduations. If that doesn't wake him up, nothing will. However, if he still cannot relent, whether you should end your marriage isn't something you should decide on impulse or out of anger. A licensed marriage and family therapist should be consulted.

DEAR ABBY: My sister, who is estranged from our siblings, has been diagnosed with cancer. The more-than-three-year estrangement wasn't her choice, and she was devastated by it. She has requested that they be kept ignorant about her medical condition. We are all (six of us) in our 60s, and I don't know how much time any of us has left. I would hate for my siblings to regret not having time with her, or to disown me for keeping this secret. Do I betray her trust and tell them? -- SIBLING DILEMMA IN NEVADA

DEAR SIBLING DILEMMA: Do not betray your sister's trust and reveal her diagnosis to the siblings who ostracized her. The news is hers and hers alone to convey. You are assuming they would rush to her side to support her, which isn't necessarily true. This could be detrimental to her recovery, so do not risk it.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter expects that her children always receive a "gift" from their four grandparents on Valentine's Day. My wife and I are OK with this, yet WE receive no cards, gifts or phone calls from the grandchildren or our children. Are we old-fashioned, or is my daughter's expectation inappropriate? -- OLD-FASHIONED

DEAR OLD-FASHIONED: Your daughter's expectations are inappropriate. They are also nervy. Your daughter should be teaching her children that exchanging holiday greetings is a reciprocal endeavor. If your daughter doesn't want to buy Valentine cards for her children to give to you, the kids should make them for Grandma and Grandpa. (They would make precious keepsakes, framed individually or as a collage.)