DEAR ABBY: I met a man online I thought was wonderful. OK, I'll be honest. I wanted a quick roll in the hay -- nothing serious. The guy turned out to be a college dropout, deeply spiritual and a great conversationalist, and we quickly started dating.

Fast-forward six months. I feel trapped in a loveless marriage. The sex is almost nonexistent. He has OCD, and because of it, he is afraid to leave the house, get a job, go to the doctor or be naked. What kind of man is afraid of being naked in PRIVATE? He is amply endowed, fit and very attractive.

I'm at my wits' end. He needs professional help, which he refuses to get. I know he has a mental illness, so I'm trying my hardest to be sympathetic and understanding, but what am I to do? -- NEEDING MORE IN LOUISIANA

DEAR NEEDING MORE: By being sympathetic and understanding, you are enabling your husband to resist getting the help he needs. Give him an ultimatum: He gets professional help for his OCD or the marriage is over. You have nothing to lose by doing this and everything to gain because, if he gets the help he needs, your problem will be solved. And if he doesn't, you will possibly avoid having a child with a man who will be unable to support it financially.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for six months. Our birthdays fall two days apart. His birthday is first, and we were invited to his parents' for dinner and cake. He received many gifts from his family.

For convenience, his brother gave us ONE card with $200 cash in it that was meant for both of us. (My husband always gives his sister-in-law a gift on her birthday.) My husband took the cash and put it in his pocket without acknowledging that half of it was meant for me.

A couple days later, my birthday came around. This time we went to dinner with my family. After dinner, my parents gave each of us a present. He went home with some new clothes and cologne. Do I have a right to be mad that his brother's gift to both of us went only to him? -- PLENTY MAD IN ILLINOIS

DEAR PLENTY MAD: Of course you do. That money should have been split 50-50. But you're complaining to the wrong person. You should be saying it to your husband. Because you have been married only six months, perhaps he isn't used to the concept of marriage being about the two of you. Straighten that out with him now.

P.S. Convenience or not, your brother-in-law should have given you separate gifts.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a freshman in high school, and it's great. I've made a lot of new friends, but most of them are guys. For some reason, they think I'm this girly-girl type who doesn't like to get my hands dirty. When it's time to do something that involves lifting, they think they have to take over. If they ever saw me at home, they'd think I was a whole different person. How can I show to them I'm not a girly-girl while still being friends with them? -- NO GIRLY-GIRL

DEAR NO GIRLY-GIRL: Here's how. The next time one of them says, "Let me do it for you," all you have to say is, "No, thank you." Then do the heavy lifting yourself. Word gets around.

DEAR ABBY: I have never been in love before, and I have just learned the man I'm seeing is a former felon. It was nothing having to do with sexual violence or killing anyone. I'm afraid if my family finds out, they will judge him. He works seven days a week and lives in a shelter because most places don't want to rent to felons. He treats me good and takes me out for dinners.

Maybe I'm stupid for not being judgmental, but he's a good person who has served his time for his crimes, and he's still being punished. Are people like him not allowed to be in love and have families too? -- IN LOVE IN NEBRASKA

DEAR IN LOVE: People make mistakes. People "like him" also fall in love, marry and have families. While there is bias against individuals with prison records, the fact that they served time does not guarantee they can't go on to live successful lives after their release. Explain that to your family, and suggest they take the time to get to know him before jumping to conclusions and making any final judgments.

DEAR ABBY: I've always been sensitive, but it has gotten worse since I became a mom a year ago. I dread watching or reading the news for fear of seeing a child, parent or animal has been hurt or mistreated. I'm a religious person, and I find myself asking God why bad things happen.

I know the tragic stories tend to make the headlines, but how would you suggest I learn to still see the good in the world? I can't quit seeing the news. We are inundated. I just wish the negativity of the world didn't get to me like it does. Advice, Abby? -- SUPER SENSITIVE IN KENTUCKY

DEAR SUPER SENSITIVE: That you have recently become a mother and are responsible for a helpless little person may have something to do with your feelings. But please don't judge the whole world or the people in it by the horror stories featured in the headlines, because they are misleading. Many people do positive things to help their neighbors and their communities that don't make the news. Consequently, we hear less about them.

I combat feelings like those you are experiencing by taking a "vacation" from reading or watching the news for a few days or a week when I think it is affecting me emotionally. I suggest you try it. Also, while your schedule as a new mother may be a busy one, if you can make the time, consider volunteering at your local library or a senior citizens' center. If you do, it may help you feel less helpless, knowing you are not only doing something positive but also making a significant difference in someone else's life.

DEAR ABBY: I have been retired for a little more than a year, and I enjoy it, except for one problem. My husband seems to think that since I'm home, I should be constantly busy -- cleaning, cooking, doing something. He accuses me of being lazy. I think he may be jealous that I don't work anymore. What do you think? -- RETIREE IN GEORGIA

DEAR RETIREE: I think you may have hit the nail on the head. Things might improve if you tell him less often how much you're enjoying it.

DEAR ABBY: My 15-year-old granddaughter has lived for the past several years in an environment with adults who have done drugs, can't or won't keep a job and are in and out of jail. I want her to have a better life, and I try to explain what a responsible adult life looks like. But when I do, she accuses me of being judgmental and nonaccepting because these people are "nice." How can I get her to understand that the lifestyle she's exposed to isn't good without coming off as judgmental? -- AT A LOSS FOR WORDS

DEAR AT A LOSS: The lessons we teach others don't always have to be verbal. One way would be to expose your granddaughter -- as often as possible -- to people who have chosen a different way of life and are reaping the rewards for it. Perhaps then she will begin to draw her own conclusions and realize that she can have a different life if she's willing to work toward it.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-fiance decided to leave our relationship and our 10-month-old son, "Nicky," about a month ago. He sees Nicky regularly and is a good father. I know our relationship is over and that it's not going to be fixed. To be honest, when he left, I was relieved.

The other day, I suggested to my ex that maybe once a month we take our son out together to do something, like go to the park or the zoo. My reasoning is that Nicky needs to know that even though his mom and dad are no longer together, we can still get along. His response was he didn't think it was a good idea. He doesn't want our son to get the wrong impression. I just said "OK" and left it alone.

Is he right? Would it confuse our son, or is he being selfish? It seems unrealistic to me that we will never do anything together. My son is my No. 1 priority, and I just want to handle it the best that I can for him. Please help me. -- CONFUSED IN SANTA MARIA, CALIF.

DEAR CONFUSED: Your ex may have said what he did because he doesn't understand that you have accepted that the romance is really over. Don't accuse him of being selfish. Be patient. In the future, Nicky will understand that, although Mom and Dad are not together, they get along, if you truly DO get along. As Nicky grows older, there will be events such as birthdays, sporting events, graduations, etc., you will probably wind up enjoying together -- or eventually with significant others or spouses included.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 13-year-old dancer, and I recently had a recital. The mothers came backstage to help their children change in the dressing rooms.

A girl my age who has two lesbian mothers was near me while I changed. It made me feel self-conscious. I'm normally not like this, but it felt awkward, to say the least. I'm not against same-sex couples, but it felt weird. Am I overreacting? -- MIDWEST DANCER

DEAR MIDWEST DANCER: I think so. Those two mothers were more interested in what was going on with their daughter than with you. If you plan to become a professional dancer -- or part of any branch of the performing arts -- you will be changing costumes under all kinds of conditions. This means you will be around straight males and females, gay people of both genders and, occasionally, trans people. It's a fact of life because separate dressing rooms may not be available.