DEAR ABBY: I am a 25-year-old college student on the verge of graduation. Over the past three months, I have been dating a slightly younger man (he's 21). We get along well, and I thoroughly enjoy his company. He has never been anything but kind and supportive.

My parents have an issue with the match. My boyfriend is Latino, born and raised in a South American country. He speaks and understands English well, although speaking it does make him a little nervous. I speak Spanish fluently, so when we talk to each other, he speaks in Spanish and I speak in English, and we have no problem communicating.

My parents think that relationships (especially marriages) are already hard enough, and adding cultural differences to the equation is a dangerous gamble for my future happiness. They strongly oppose my continuing my relationship with him. Do you think their argument is valid?

I've looked up statistics that say marriages between a Latino man and white woman are the most likely to end in divorce (not that I'm thinking of marrying him any time soon, but one of my future goals is to be in a happy marriage, and I realize that you marry who you date). The idea of ending a relationship with someone I adore based on statistics is upsetting to me. I'd really appreciate your thoughts. -- GROWN-UP IN UTAH

DEAR GROWN-UP: You have been dating this man for only three months. By the age of 25, the decision about whom you decide to eventually marry should be yours, not your parents', regardless of how well-meaning they are. Do not let statistics rule your life because there are always exceptions. Let this play out, and you will have your answer.

DEAR ABBY: My husband finds fault and makes negative comments about almost everything. He rarely talks to me about anything. I am not happy with my life with him. I feel there is so much I want to do and explore. He is content to stay at home, watch TV and occasionally do little projects around the house. Then it is time for TV again.

We are both retired. My adult kids and my grandchildren are my whole life. We are all very close. My husband, on the other hand, rarely talks to or calls his kids, even though I encourage him to. One child no longer even speaks to him. Another one lives too far away to see him (a 10-hour drive), which is his reason for not visiting him.

With no friends and very little family contact, I feel I am all he has. I want to run away, but if I do, he'd be heartbroken. Sad to say, I wouldn't even miss him. What should I do? -- UNFULFILLED IN OHIO

DEAR UNFULFILLED: Has your husband always been this way? If the answer is no, he may be depressed, which is something that should be discussed with his doctor.

I don't think you should leave him -- immediately. If you want to travel and have the means to do so, travel with some friends. The only thing you should not do is permit yourself to become isolated because your husband is so closed off.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of two years and I recently moved in together. When we first met, he let me know he had lost his father to cancer a few years prior. While I know a little about his father, it is mostly superficial.

As our relationship has progressed -- moving in, talking about our future -- I long to know more about his dad. What kind of a father and husband was he? What special memories does my boyfriend have of spending time with him? However, when I ask questions, I get succinct answers with no elaboration. If I ask more than one question at a time, I feel like I'm pulling teeth, so I just drop it. When I asked if he's uncomfortable talking about it, he says it's fine, but I still know next to nothing.

The only time he brings up his dad is around the time of his dad's birthday, the anniversary of his death or the time when they found out about his prognosis. At those times he is clearly grieving. I don't want to cause my boyfriend more pain, and I worry that I'm being insensitive by asking him to talk about it. Yet, if we are going to start a life together and be a family one day, I want to know about his father. -- CURIOUS IN NEW YORK

DEAR CURIOUS: Your boyfriend may not want to discuss his relationship with his father because the subject is painful, either because of his death or because they were not close. If you want more details, you might have better luck asking your boyfriend's mother or his siblings, if he has any. Because the subject clearly makes him uncomfortable, back off.

DEAR ABBY: I don't smoke, but my mother and fiancee are chain smokers. This is particularly annoying when the three of us eat together because they always light up during the meal. For example, they'll almost always have a cigarette after the salad, another before the dessert and then two or three cigarettes afterward. It ruins the meal for me.

I'm really disappointed in my fiancee, who seems to have forgotten her promise to quit smoking before our wedding day. Is there anything I can do about their smoking at the dinner table? And should I remind my fiancee about her promise to give up cigarettes and be a smoke-free bride? -- ANNOYED IN ALABAMA

DEAR ANNOYED: Your mother and your fiancee are nicotine addicts. That they cannot get through a meal without lighting at least three cigarettes is alarming. No rule of etiquette dictates that you must tolerate secondhand smoke while you are trying to enjoy your dinner. If they need a fix, they should be considerate enough to excuse themselves from the table to indulge.

On a slightly different, but equally important, subject, your fiancee has not "forgotten" her promise to give up cigarettes before your wedding. She's ignoring it, and you haven't called her on it. Please do. If you marry her, you will be living in a tobacco haze for the rest of her life, which could have a negative effect on your -- and your children's -- health in the future. Don't say you weren't warned.

DEAR ABBY: Parents frequently write to you asking for advice about their children, seemingly asking permission to butt in where they should not.

When I was in my 20s, I dated a guy who had just returned from the Navy. I saw him -- and others -- while working and going to college. Sometimes I'd drive 40 miles to visit him and stay with my mother. At some point, he told me we wouldn't be seeing each other anymore. He doesn't remember the details of the conversation, and neither do I. I liked him very much and may have been in love.

I found out years later that my mother had called him to her house and told him to marry me or let me go. We were both young and not ready for marriage. I have no idea what possessed her to do that. Sometimes I wish I had talked with her about it, but it wouldn't have changed anything.

He and I have visited a few times during the past few years. We both married wonderful people, had kids, and have had good lives. Yet there has always been the question: What if Mom had not interfered?

Abby, please advise parents to mind their own business, especially where adult children are involved. -- FIFTY YEARS WONDERING

DEAR F.Y.W.: Whether that romance would have led to marriage had your mother stayed out of it, I can't guess and neither can you. Fortunately, you and the young man went on to have happy lives and successful marriages.

Some mothers can't resist the temptation to interfere in their adult children's lives. Today, when it is constant, it's called "helicopter parenting," and the unfortunate result can be disabling rather than helping because it prevents children from resolving their own issues.

DEAR ABBY: My 30-plus-year-old brother struggles with substance abuse. It has been going on for years. After countless trips to rehab, inpatient, outpatient and all the step programs, he still uses. Periodically he'll be sober for a short time, but it never lasts. For a long time, I have been torn between total disassociation or the sporadic run-in at family events.

Seven months ago, his baby boy was born with narcotics in his system. Birds of a feather flock together, I guess. Since then he hasn't been invited to my home or any event I have hosted. My mother and the rest of my siblings still invite him into their homes and act as if his lifestyle choices are OK.

Am I supposed to boycott family functions (holiday gatherings, summer BBQs, birthday parties for my kids, nieces and nephews) because they all continue allowing him to attend? I honestly don't know what is right here. Please help. -- HAD ENOUGH IN NEW YORK

DEAR HAD ENOUGH: Your brother has an addiction he cannot seem to shake. It is a disease that, in spite of treatment, persists. If you prefer not to include him at events you host or invite him into your home, that is your right. But for you to forgo family events in an attempt to punish him is isolating only yourself, and I see nothing positive to be gained by it. Because your feelings about this situation are so strong, the ultimate decision is yours.