DEAR ABBY: I have been happily married to my darling husband for 20 years. The problem is his sister.

When we first met, she asked my husband if I was "for real" because I'm very outgoing and affectionate. In the early years, and until about six years ago, she would berate me with abusive criticism. In most instances, her comments were inaccurate. If I tried to overlook her actions and have a good relationship, she would soon find something else to criticize.

I am normally an "it's history" kind of person when it comes to confrontations and forget them quickly. Thankfully her abuse has finally stopped. But I'm now having trust issues because every time in the past when I let my guard down to mend the relationship, she'd lash out and put me down again. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. -- WARY IN TEXAS

DEAR WARY: One would think that during the time your sister-in-law was sniping at you, your "darling" husband would have stepped in and told his sister to put her knives away. After suffering through 14 years of her emotional battery, it's no wonder you have trust issues where she's concerned.

Intelligent person that you are, it's likely you always will have them, so stop blaming yourself for it. Continue being the outgoing and affectionate person you always have been, and keep your guard up because that's what healthy people have to do when dealing with someone like her.

DEAR ABBY: I love my wonderful neighbors of 28 years. They are 10 years younger than my parents. They have been like a second set of parents to me. My concern is for their health. They are in their 60s and 70s, but neither one goes to the doctor.

The wife went 20-plus years ago and decided never to return after they prescribed diabetes and blood pressure medication for her. More recently, she can no longer leave the house because she has injured her arthritic knee so badly. She refuses to get it checked and claims it will heal. (She diagnosed herself via Dr. Google.) Her intelligent adult daughter is aware of all of this.

I know this is a choice people make, but at this point I'm sure it's just anxiety that is keeping her from getting the medical help she needs. She's missing her garden, her grandchildren and grocery shopping, so I'm sure she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life like this. Her husband has no influence either and is picking up what she no longer can do. I have tried encouraging her to seek advice, but haven't pushed her so hard as to push her away. What should I do? -- SCARED FOR THEM IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR SCARED: If anyone could do anything, it would have to be the woman's husband and her daughter. I assume you have pointed out to your neighbor that with medical help she could heal more quickly, and also that there is something called preventive medicine that can help people avoid becoming seriously ill. Because you have talked until you are blue in the face and still haven't been able to get through, my advice is to love her while you have her.

DEAR ABBY: My heart is breaking for my friend who was married just a month and a half ago. She and her husband went on a two-week Mediterranean cruise for their honeymoon. They have not lived together since then. Her husband says he loves her, and I know she loves him, but he has no immediate plans to live with her! She's heartbroken and is planning an annulment. What advice do you have? -- THROWN IN MARYLAND

DEAR THROWN: I wish you had shared a few more details about their situation. I'm surprised your friend wasn't aware of her husband's feelings before she married him.

However, as sympathetic as you are about her situation, my advice is to be there for her to lean on but refrain from giving her advice. She's going to have to figure this out for herself. Some couples do better if they live separately. But if what her husband has in mind was a surprise and is unacceptable to her, she is doing the right thing.

DEAR ABBY: I'm not sure if anyone else has this problem. My husband is constantly grabbing me, either my breasts or my crotch. It's day and night. We have been married almost 40 years, and I am sick of it.

If I say something, he says, "Oh, I bet the guys you work with would love to be touching you!" Not once have my co-workers ever implied such a thing. I just don't understand! Any suggestions on how I can make him understand I hate this? -- GROPED OUT WEST

DEAR GROPED: Your husband may consider what he's doing as foreplay or regard you not as a person but his property. Touching someone in this manner without consent could be considered sexual abuse. His comment about your male co-workers may be a back-handed compliment, but why you are sick of hearing it is understandable.

If he doesn't understand after 40 years that you dislike what he's doing, it's because he doesn't want to, and your feelings are unimportant to him. A marriage counselor may be able to help you get through to him. If he won't go, go without him.

DEAR ABBY: I am 59 years old with a good job. I have a pleasant personality, and I have been told I am attractive. I would love to find someone who would be a very good friend or maybe even a love connection.

The problem is, I wear partials because some of my teeth are missing. I'm very attractive with them in, but I'm afraid if I tell a man I have them, he won't regard me as attractive anymore. Should I withhold that information until further down the line?

Please advise me because this is holding me back on trying to have a relationship. I don't want to remain lonely because of this. -- READY FOR SOMETHING IN D.C.

DEAR READY: You state that you have a good job. If all that's holding you back from finding a partner is embarrassment about your dentures, contact a dentist and ask if there are other options, such as implants, that might be a solution for you. If there are, it will give you the boost of confidence you are seeking. If not, keep in mind that if you are dating the right man in your age group or older, he shouldn't have as much a problem with your teeth as you fear.

DEAR READERS: Welcome to 2020! The New Year has arrived, and with it our chance for a new beginning.

Today we have an opportunity to discard destructive old habits for healthy new ones, and with that in mind, I will share Dear Abby's often-requested list of New Year's Resolutions, which were adapted by my late mother, Pauline Phillips, from the original credo of Al-Anon:

JUST FOR TODAY: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once.

I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly and not interrupt when someone else is talking. Just for today, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. And I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.

And now, Dear Readers, I would like to share an item that was sent to me by L.J. Bhatia, a reader from New Delhi, India:

DEAR ABBY: This year, no resolutions, only some guidelines. The Holy Vedas say: "Man has subjected himself to thousands of self-inflicted bondages. Wisdom comes to a man who lives according to the true eternal laws of nature."

The prayer of St. Francis (of which there are several versions) contains a powerful message:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

To be understood, as to understand;

To be loved, as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive,

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

And so, Dear Readers, may 2020 bring with it good health, peace and joy to all of you. -- LOVE, ABBY