DEAR ABBY: I have shared a friendship for 40 years with a woman who is known for having a quick temper. Although I have been on the receiving end of her anger many times, we manage to maintain our relationship.

She lives across the country now and, unfortunately, suffers from a major debilitating illness. She lives with a man she argues with often, in his small apartment. They struggle financially, and she recently confided that when they argue, she dunks his toothbrush in the toilet to get even. Obviously, it is without his knowledge.

I have never met him, but he is very nice to me when I call. I want to tell him what my friend has been doing. I feel he needs to know the health risks he's facing when he brushes his teeth.

Of course, if I do, I know I'll incur her wrath once again as she'll know I ratted her out. And he will undoubtedly evict her from the apartment. She doesn't have the finances to get her own place, and the eviction may result in her becoming homeless. I'm struggling with which is worse: his health risk or her homelessness.

So far, I have kept my mouth shut, but each day I know he is brushing his teeth with bacteria. Should I continue to remain silent? -- YUCK FACTOR IN THE DESERT

DEAR YUCK FACTOR: While dipping his toothbrush in the toilet may not kill him, it could make him sick. Tell him what has been going on. If your friendship with the woman ends, so be it.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 34-year-old single mother of a 7-year-old son who wants me to get married. I'm not dating anyone, so marriage is nowhere in the near future.

I know my son's wish for me to be married is due to the absence of his "father" in his life and his desire to have a dad. I have technically been single for more than 10 years. I dated a lot over the years but haven't during the last two years, instead focusing on my mental, emotional and physical well-being in addition to securing a decent career path, which I'm just a week into.

I have contemplated dating for months, even prior to my son saying anything. Being an only parent, I have very little free time, and dating can be very disappointing. I don't have time to waste. Should I get back out there for the sake of my son or not? -- DATING FOR TWO IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR DATING: Should you date because your son wants a father? No. You should date because you meet someone whose values and interests are similar to your own, someone you think is worth getting to know better.

You are starting a new career, and in time you will meet eligible men. In the meantime, because your son needs a masculine influence in his life, consider having him spend time with male family members. If that's not possible, contact Big Brothers Big Sisters of America and try to arrange a mentor for him. The website is bbbs.org.

DEAR ABBY: I was molested by my sister's husband in 1959. I was 5 years old. Growing up in the late '50s and '60s, sexual abuse was never discussed in my parents' home. It just wasn't done then. Of course, my brother-in-law told me it was "our little secret."

This has affected my entire life. I didn't get counseling for it because I didn't remember it. I became promiscuous at a young age, but I cannot remember any of the sexual episodes. I have been with several thousand men and don't remember any of them.

I came up with a theory that each time, I went into a "fugue state." I understand it's common in children who are molested young. I am horribly ashamed of my behavior, and I beg God nightly for forgiveness.

I'm married with a 29-year-old son, and my husband and son know all about my activities during our entire marriage. I have been chaste now for more than a year and doing my best to not "fall off the wagon."

My sister and her husband are now elderly, but I still want to tell her that he abused me. He also abused his adopted daughter, who ran away when she was 14. Should I tell my sister about what he did to me, or must I take it to my grave? (We are already estranged.) -- SURVIVING IN TEXAS

DEAR SURVIVING: I am truly sorry for what you experienced and how it has affected your life, and I congratulate you for your year of sobriety. That said, I think you would benefit from talking to a mental health professional about this before deciding whether to tell your sister. I say this for your sake, not hers.

If she remained with her husband after he assaulted her young teenaged daughter (!), it won't come as a total shock to her. However, she may be so calloused or deeply in denial that she won't react or apologize, so do not expect it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband wants us to go to nudist resorts. We are both in our 70s and very out of shape. He is extremely overweight and old looking. Everything hangs. He has been rude and nasty to me because I always say no. I'm too old to leave him. We can't keep fighting over this. He is also very unhealthy. Help! Please give me some advice. -- CLOTHING NOT OPTIONAL

DEAR C.N.O.: I'll try. Naturist or clothing-optional resorts are not what you may think they are. They are patronized by families and individuals of every shape, size and age.

In the interest of peace in your household, please do some research. Your husband is unwell, and you belong with him. You will not be the exception, you will be the norm and you will not be judged. Try it once and you will see that when the clothes come off, we are all variations on one grand design -- even if some of the moving parts sag a little.

DEAR ABBY: My husband left me stranded at the train station with no way to get home as a punishment for my daughter's behavior. He said it was because I never take him seriously, and I should live with the consequences. I feel he crossed a very big boundary with this, and I'm considering leaving him. Am I wrong? -- STRANDED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR STRANDED: I don't think so. But before visiting a divorce lawyer, it might be better to consult a licensed marriage and family therapist to see if you and your husband can find a more effective way to communicate.

DEAR ABBY: One of our daughters (18) has been rebelling for the last couple of years. She's not doing well in community college. She is dating a drug user and has been caught in lie after lie, including about spending the night at friends' homes.

She has now decided she no longer wants to live with our rules, which include staying enrolled in college full time and making progress, doing a few household chores, telling us where she is going and when we can expect her home, and having no overnighters. She has moved out and in with a friend.

We know she's immature and will grow up eventually. We are heartbroken but understand we can't control this. We are praying for her safety.

We have an out-of-town wedding coming up and have decided to make a family vacation out of it. On one hand, we want to include her, not wanting to destroy what little relationship we have. On the other, we do not want to be "used" for a fun vacation. Because she has chosen to live on her own as an adult, she must pay her own way (which she can't afford). Should we take her or not? -- MOM OF AN ALMOST-ADULT

DEAR MOM: Your daughter has made a choice -- to be out from under your thumb and on her own. The "price" for her independence is being unable to depend upon you and your husband to foot the bill for her expenses.

Would she be running wild and staying out all night if you take her with you? You would have to set some rules beforehand and get her to agree to abide by them if she is going to be included with her sibling(s). A positive experience as a family may be what you all need right now. But only you can decide whether it's worth taking the chance.

DEAR ABBY: I am recently divorced, but my husband, "Danny," and I still see each other. The other night he mentioned that his ex-girlfriend texts him. He also allows her to follow him on Instagram but says he isn't following her. It really bothers me because she and Danny were in contact when we were married, "just as friends" is what he said. He repeated with 100% certainty that he has no interest in ever getting back together with her.

I spend a lot of nights at his place, and he spends nights with me, so I guess I have to trust his word, but it's eating me up inside. I have asked him to not allow her to follow him on Instagram, but he has not done that yet. He said he doesn't care who follows him. -- UNFOLLOW IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR UNFOLLOW: I'm confused. Exactly what is your question? You say you are divorced, but you are still acting -- and thinking -- like you are Danny's wife. He's a free man now, and you not only do not have the right to dictate who should or shouldn't follow him on Instagram, but also don't have the right to tell him he can't see another woman if he wishes.

Face it, you are BOTH free now. You can't be cheated on by a husband who is no longer your husband. Consider this: It might be healthier for you to spend less time with Danny and devote more time to moving forward with your life.