DEAR ABBY: My widowed mother-in-law, "Minnie," works full time as a trucker, traveling around the U.S. She doesn't have a home of her own since she lives on the road. My husband and I live in a small one-bedroom apartment. When she's here for holidays or family functions, she always sleeps on our couch.

At first I didn't mind once or twice for holidays, but since my niece was born, Minnie wants to be home more to visit with her. My husband's brother has a large home and plenty of space, but Minnie never stays there because she doesn't like my sister-in-law. Minnie is also irresponsible about letting us know when she's coming and how long she will be staying. One night can turn into a week.

I have had many conversations and some blowout fights with my husband over this issue. He's the older brother and feels guilty about asking her to stay at a hotel. My sister-in-law doesn't help the situation. She sabotages holidays and events to ensure Minnie won't feel comfortable staying there. I don't know how I will manage to get through the holidays this year. Help! -- DREADING IT IN THE EAST

DEAR DREADING: Blowout fights with your husband are detrimental to your marriage. Because he appears to be unable to summon the backbone to have an honest conversation with his mother, I guess it's up to you.

Explain to Minnie that the current arrangement isn't working. Tell her twice-a-year visits for holidays and family functions were manageable, but in the future, if she's unwilling to stay in her younger son's home, she should arrange to stay at a hotel or motel for those "extra" visits.

DEAR ABBY: Some of my extended family members have become vegan. When they come to my home, I make sure to have appropriate food for them, in addition to nonvegan food for others. When I am invited to their homes for a celebration, they offer only vegan selections. No one is allowed to bring nonvegan or meat-based dishes to their home.

It has reached the point that I no longer want to go there when a meal is involved. I have tried talking to them about this, but their reply is, "No meat allowed in our home." I now leave before mealtime because I don't like a lot of their dishes.

Is it common for vegans to prohibit guests from ever taking other food into their home? Thanks for any light you can shed on this. -- MEAT LOVER IN HOUSTON

DEAR MEAT LOVER: People become vegans for a variety of reasons. Some do because they feel it is unethical to kill animals for food. Others do it because they feel raising animals for slaughter is harmful to the planet. People also become vegans for health reasons.

Individuals who adopt this way of life often feel as your relatives do, and that's their privilege. If it impinges on your freedom or limits your enjoyment of these celebrations, forgo them and either participate in get-togethers that don't include food or go to an accommodating restaurant.

DEAR ABBY: I am a woman in my 30s with a good head on my shoulders, but I have a dilemma. I recently became Wiccan, and I'm hiding my new religion from my fiance.

I was raised Protestant but have drifted away from Christianity. My fiance was raised Catholic but no longer practices. He's not actively involved in any religion, but I'm worried about how he will react to learning that I'm now a "witch," which is just a broad term for anyone who follows the Wiccan spiritual path. I don't want him to think I've lost my mind, but I also can't keep hiding my beliefs from him. Secrets are never a positive thing in a relationship, but I'm worried about how this news will be received. Please help. -- WEST VIRGINIA WICCAN

DEAR WICCAN: I agree this isn't a secret you should keep. If it were me, I would start disclosing the information slowly, sharing Wiccan literature, telling him I found it fascinating, and sharing a few of the principles with him. Refrain from hitting him over the head with an announcement of your conversion and it will be less shocking.

DEAR ABBY: I have a new boss. He is a very nice man. With the Christmas season approaching, how do I communicate to him that I do not want to exchange gifts? I don't want him to feel obligated to give me anything. It may be presumptuous of me to think he may want to. I believe this is his first supervisory position, and he may not even think about gifts.

We have very little contact. I have been the receptionist for our building for many years and do not require much supervision. We are in different parts of the building, and he stops by occasionally to see how I'm doing. My previous boss, a woman I reported to for many years, and I would exchange gifts because we were friends. -- CORDIAL IN TEXAS

DEAR CORDIAL: I do not recommend mentioning gifts to your new boss. It is entirely possible that he won't be gifting you anything this Christmas. However, on the chance that he might, keep a little something in your desk drawer just in case. A small, prepackaged fruitcake might be nice. You can always use it as a doorstop or a hockey puck if he doesn't drop by with a gift in hand.

DEAR ABBY: Why do women stop having sex after marriage? This is my second marriage. We have been married two years, and to date we have had sex three times. Before marriage we had a great sex life, but the day I said "I do" it stopped. I'm not the only man who is faced with this problem. -- NEED AN ANSWER

DEAR NEED: Something is wrong with this picture. Not all women stop having sex after marriage. The two of you are long overdue for a frank conversation because this isn't fair to you. Could your wife's lack of interest be medical or emotional? Do you get along otherwise? Did this happen with your first wife, too? If the answer to that question is yes, your technique may need some polishing, or your wives may not have enjoyed sex before or after your weddings.

DEAR ABBY: My 40-year-old son has been in a volatile on-again, off-again relationship with a woman who has physically and emotionally abused him repeatedly. He's an Iraq War veteran with issues of his own, including a previous marriage and messy divorce from a narcissistic woman. They share custody of two grade school-age children. The current woman has grown children, plus a pre-teen boy (with issues also). The last time they split up, my husband made it clear that she would never be welcome in our home again because of her violent temper. We don't condone that behavior.

Our son has now decided he thinks he "loves her." He wants us to give our blessing, including having her in our home and being one big happy family. We are sure this "reunion" will come with her assurances that she has changed, and it will never happen again.

Abby, we want our son to be happy, but we recognize that a leopard doesn't change her spots. We also don't want our young grandchildren in a toxic environment again. What should we do? Please don't tell me he needs to go to counseling because he says he is. Help! -- SEEING CLEARLY IN NEW YORK

DEAR SEEING: When you stated that your son is asking you for your blessing, including having this woman in your home and being one big happy family, did he mean LIVING there with you? If that's not the case, you can bless it, but your answer should be no if it means they will live under your roof. It would be healthier for all of you if they have living arrangements of their own. That way, you can see her only when she is on her good behavior, and if she backslides, the drama won't be in your home. The added bonus is that your son will have a refuge if he needs it. (I'd give anything to know how his therapist views this.)

DEAR ABBY: This may seem like a trivial problem, but it has our little group of friends on the verge of breaking up. We meet monthly. There are seven of us.

Two of them don't want to exchange birthday presents when one or two of us have a birthday because they say they can't afford it. By the way, their lifestyle is quite lavish. The rest of us enjoy giving small gifts (and they are small -- less than $10), or a gift card for the restaurant we are meeting at that night. We have told them a card is fine.

They are now threatening to stop coming unless we stop giving gifts because it makes them feel bad. It seems like they don't want to make the effort, and we feel like we are being held hostage. What's the solution? We love these ladies and don't want them to stop coming. Christmas is approaching, and five of us want to exchange presents, but they don't. Thanks for your opinion. It will matter to all of us. -- TRADITIONALIST IN FLORIDA

DEAR TRADITIONALIST: Because these ladies are uncomfortable with the idea of exchanging gifts on special occasions, they should be told their presence is not expected when those exchanges happen -- specifically Christmas, birthdays, etc. There will still be plenty of other times to get together -- and that way no one will be uncomfortable. Under no circumstances should you allow them to dictate what the rest of you do!