DEAR ABBY: I have a close friend who is an extreme hoarder. She and her husband have a beautiful, large, custom-built home that is stacked floor to ceiling with clutter. There are only narrow paths to walk around. Clothes, papers, toys, etc. are piled everywhere. Normally, I would mind my own business, but they have four children at home. The children are getting to the age where they are embarrassed about their home. It is so bad they can't invite friends over.

When we discuss the condition of the place with her and her husband, they get defensive and say they just don't have time. They do both work full-time, and their time off is usually spent shuttling the children to activities. Overall, they are excellent parents, and the children are loved and cared for, but the condition of their house is worse each time I see it, and they continue to buy more and more stuff. Last time I helped clear out a room, it was full of clutter a few weeks later. What can I do to help? Should I stay out of it? Should I contact CPS? -- CLUTTER EVERYWHERE

DEAR CLUTTER EVERYWHERE: Because you say the children are loved and cared for, instead of contacting Child Protective Services, I suggest you quietly place a call to the Health Department for guidance. From your description, the "beautiful, large, custom-built" home may be a fire hazard and possibly a danger to the family's health if there are "critters" also living in that mess. Whether their problem is the result of depression or simply gross disorganization, they do need an intervention for their children's sake.

DEAR ABBY: My 25-year-old daughter is getting married in about two months. Invitations have been sent out, and everything was going along pretty smoothly. However, my two older brothers, who live out of state, have informed me that neither of them will be attending her wedding. They didn't offer any reason for not attending, and money is not an issue.

My father, who has been very ill this past year with cancer, is doing everything he can to be there. My daughter had hoped that everyone could come, as it would be an opportunity for our entire family to be together, especially given my father's poor health.

Am I wrong to be upset? My brothers seem to not prioritize our family very highly. I am trying to focus on who will be there and not on who isn't. But I am afraid this isn't something I will forget. -- TRYING TO SMILE IN FLORIDA

DEAR TRYING: Unless you have omitted some important information from your letter, has it not occurred to you that your brothers' refusal may have something to do with their relationship with your father? I'm as mystified as you are about why they refused the invitation, but please don't allow their absence to cast a shadow over this happy occasion.

When you say you won't forget it, I hope you won't waste your precious time looking backward and carrying a grudge. Your daughter's wedding is not a command performance, and if your brothers cannot be there to appreciate the joyous occasion, so be it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were getting ready to leave after dinner at a restaurant we've patronized for 15 years. I went to the ladies' room and was washing my hands when a waitress I don't care for came barging in, got in my face and started yelling at me. I tried to leave, but she wouldn't let me out of the restroom. I asked her several times to let me out, and she kept telling me no. When she finally let me go, I told the man in charge what she did.

My husband called him later, but the manager believed the waitress, who said that I started it. Another waitress who calls me her "sister" didn't answer the texts I sent her. I am very hurt that she ignored me. Clearly, she believes the waitress, too.

The restroom encounter left red marks all over my arm, but the manager didn't care. The offender has left town and moved out of state. I'm 74 and was tempted to go to the police but didn't. Now I wish I had pressed charges. Should I have? -- BEATEN UP IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR BEATEN UP: There is probably more to this story than what you have written, but yes, you should have notified the police. You were assaulted and falsely imprisoned in that restroom. Had you contacted the police and gone to an emergency room about the marks on your arm, you would have had proof about what the woman did to you.

DEAR ABBY: My older sister has just been diagnosed with cervical cancer. The HPV vaccine might have protected her from it, had it been available to our generation.

A few of us were out to lunch recently, and when I asked a younger sister if her granddaughter had received the vaccine, she went off on me like I had asked something terrible. Do you think I was wrong for asking? I have grandkids and would not be offended if someone asked me that question. -- CONCERNED SISTER

DEAR CONCERNED SISTER: If you and the younger sister are close, then I don't think your question was offensive. However, if you are not, because it was asked in front of friends, she may have interpreted it as an implication that her granddaughter -- who is, of course, pure as the driven snow -- is sexually active, which made her defensive.

DEAR ABBY: My husband of more than 20 years just purchased plane tickets to India. It's a 24-hour trip from the USA. My problem is, he is sitting in business class, while I'm in economy. We have plenty of money, but he simply doesn't want to spend it. He's older and has health concerns and mobility issues.

Am I right to feel hurt and consider his love of money may be stronger than his love for me? Or should I be content and happy I'm going to a beautiful country? -- FEELING LIKE SECOND RATE

DEAR FEELING: Of course you should be happy that you will be visiting a beautiful country. Content, not so much. You have a right to be upset at your penny-pinching husband for providing less-comfortable accommodations for you than he has arranged for himself on that long flight. Upgrade your seat! You have a right to put your foot down and make clear that the two of you either sit together or he'll be sitting first-class in the doghouse.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have a happy, adorable 18-month-old son. Understandably, he's the light of our lives.

Early in my pregnancy, I decided to not post a pregnancy announcement or pictures of him on social media. I felt my son should have the autonomy to build his own social media presence as he saw fit. During the past year, I have felt comfortable sharing about five pictures of him with my 40-plus close friends and family who follow that social media account.

My mother-in-law has been posting pictures of my son to her social media account for a while now. It bothered me, but I didn't voice any concerns because I didn't want to overreact. A few weeks ago, my husband texted her a picture of our son, himself and me. A few hours later, it ended up on her social media account with a filter altering the picture's original color!

My husband and I became extremely upset about it, and my husband agreed to tell her that she could no longer share pictures of our son on social media. Is this appropriate? I don't want to be one of those controlling, domineering parents, but I firmly believe that my mother-in-law should have asked permission prior to sharing any pictures of our son. Am I correct? -- NEW MOM IN NEW YORK

DEAR MOM: You and your husband should ask yourselves what has upset you more -- that his mother shared a family picture with her circle of friends (as you have with 40-plus of yours) or that she altered the color. If you prefer she post no more pictures, ask her to stop and explain why. If it's the fact that she took artistic license, I think you are overreacting and you should let it go.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 70-year-old widower. For the past year I've been dating a woman, "Celeste," and our relationship was growing closer (we were intimate, and we seemed to be becoming a couple). Because she's a big fan of a particular performer who was going to be in our area, I bought tickets for us two months in advance. They were quite expensive. Celeste knew about it and was eager to go.

On the day of the performance, when I went to pick her up, she informed me that she wouldn't be able to go. A friend had just come into town (passing through on business) and surprised her with a visit. She apologized and promised she'd explain later that weekend.

Well, the man turns out to be a former beau she hadn't seen in about a year. Celeste seems to think I should be OK with her canceling our date, but I can't help but feel she was wrong to do it so she could spend the weekend with a former lover. (What am I? A consolation prize?) I ended the relationship over the brush-off she gave me, but she is trying to renew things. Was I wrong to take this as serious enough to end the relationship? -- PERPLEXED EX IN MISSOURI

DEAR EX: You were not wrong. Celeste stood you up, which was, to say the least, inconsiderate of your feelings. (Did she offer to reimburse you for those tickets? I'm betting she didn't.) She's trying to renew the romance with you (for now) because her former beau's visit ended. When he called, she should have told him she had a previous commitment and honored it. That she didn't shows she is self-centered and will continue to be if you allow it.

Eligible men your age are a hot commodity. It shouldn't be too hard to find someone who appreciates what you have to offer. Move on.