DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced for 26 years. I have been engaged a couple of times since, but never made it back to the altar. My ex-wife has now permanently separated from her second husband. I have helped her financially and emotionally through a couple of stressful situations in the interim due to her second husband.

I became available again myself about 18 months ago, so I have been considering inviting her to dinner to help her relax and give her someone to talk to other than family. The problem is, she still seems to regard me as "the enemy." She will speak to me, but it's just bare bones conversation. I have never stopped loving her. Should I ask her to dinner or just let things be? -- STILL LOVIN' MY EX

DEAR STILL LOVIN': I wish you had mentioned what destroyed your marriage 26 years ago. Whatever it was, because your ex still seems to regard you as "the enemy," in spite of the fact that you have helped her financially and emotionally, I don't think what you have in mind is feasible. Sometimes it's safer to love someone from a distance, and this may be one of them.

DEAR ABBY: We live in the downstairs apartment of an old Victorian house that has been converted into three separate apartments. We try to be good neighbors and do our part keeping up with our neighborly duties. However, lately we've been finding ourselves the only ones doing our part.

Every Sunday evening, we roll out the garbage, recycling and compost bins for the Monday morning pickup. Currently, there is only one other tenant living here, a man who has been here for more than a year. Not once has he bothered to roll out these carts that he uses as well. How should we handle this without coming off as nagging or rude? -- PEEVED IN PORTLAND, ORE.

DEAR PEEVED: Your neighbor isn't a mind reader. He may think you are doing this as part of your deal with the landlord. If you haven't discussed this with your neighbor, you should. If you do, you may be able to agree on some sort of schedule.

DEAR ABBY: I graduated from law school several years ago. I didn't pass the bar, and I now have a non-law-related job. I am fine with it, and I really do not aspire to be in the field of law. My parents didn't help me with law school tuition, nor am I saddled with debt.

My problem is, some family members -- and a few acquaintances -- seem to think me almost a novelty. I get comments such as, "Hey, how's that degree working for you?" and "Are you ever going to use your degree?" and "Do you regret going to law school?" I find it really annoying. How can I put a stop to it? -- NOT A LAWYER AND FINE

DEAR NOT A LAWYER: Tell these "curious" individuals that you do not regret going to law school because knowledge of the law is valuable when it's applied to other fields. As to how that degree is working for you, tell the questioner it's working so well you are now considering going for a degree in astrophysics.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have a 22-year-old daughter, "Cara," who is having a relationship with a 65-year-old man, "Gary." We do not approve of the relationship.

Gary is going through a divorce, and Cara has moved into his rented condo with him. She just graduated from college. She doesn't have a job, has no money and drives an old car. She was always a good student and never did anything wrong. She didn't date much and was a wonderful child. She and Gary have been together for almost six months now.

Cara knows we love her but do not approve of the relationship. She also knows that Gary is not welcome in our home. She sees nothing wrong with their relationship. She doesn't socialize with her friends as often as she used to. Gary works full-time and also has a job on weekends. We never speak of him when we talk to our daughter. What is going on? What should we do? When will it end? Where is her head? -- NERVOUS IN NEW ENGLAND

DEAR NERVOUS: Your daughter -- who didn't date much -- thinks she's in love with Gary. Because she is emotionally involved, she's thinking with her heart, not her head. What you need to do is loosen up.

Tell your daughter you and your husband will welcome Gary into your home. And when that happens, get to know him and talk with him about the importance of her getting a job in the field for which she has worked so hard to qualify.

Their relationship will end when she finally tires of living with someone who is old enough to be her grandfather, and who has little time to devote to her because he has financial obligations toward his almost-ex-wife. Cross your fingers and hope she grows impatient soon.

DEAR ABBY: At my preschooler's concert, another parent asked me to hold a seat for her near the front. I draped a sweater over two seats. Shortly after, another family arrived, and the grandfather of another child removed the sweater, claiming the seats for members of his family who were also absent.

Three times I tried to explain that I was holding a seat for a parent with a disability who was having a hard time getting to the auditorium. Each time I was rudely interrupted. The man grabbed me by the shoulder, threatened me and even invited me to settle things outside. He later photographed my wife and children.

Not wanting to be that parent who gets into a fight over a seat at a children's event, I backed down. Afterward, though, I did file a report with the police. Now I am deciding whether to press charges.

I don't want to overreact, but I have heard from other parents that this man has a tendency to bully. I have always been bothered by stories about violence at kids' events and feel this man crossed a line. Should I? -- PROVOKED IN THE EAST

DEAR PROVOKED: If this man behaved as you described and put his hands on you, then you were physically assaulted. If there were other parents who witnessed it and would be willing to testify if you press charges, go ahead and pursue it. When you do, the bully will be in the system the next time he does it to someone.

DEAR READERS: It's time again to remind you that daylight saving time ends at 2 a.m. Sunday. Don't forget to turn your clocks back one hour at bedtime tonight. And while you're at it, remember to change the batteries in your fire alarms and smoke detectors.

DEAR ABBY: I work and have a family and live five hours from where I grew up. My mom isn't in the best health and neither is her husband. While I try to visit as often as I can, she always wants me to visit more often, which I understand.

The problem is, she keeps asking us to leave our 5-year-old son with her for long weekends or to spend a week with her and her husband. They are good people, but both have physical limitations.

Would I let my son stay with them if one of them was still in good health? Yes. It is hard for me to explain to her my concern that my son would be too much for them to deal with at this point. If she has a series of good days, great. If she doesn't, we would have a problem, and I'd have to drive back to deal with it.

I have tried explaining nicely, and then other times more directly, that it isn't that I don't want her to spend time with her grandchildren. I'm tired of the guilt trips she tries to put on me. I'm also tired of her telling my son to "talk to your mom about staying with me for a week."

As a child, I was in my son's position, and I know how it affected me. I just wanted to see "Sara," and I thought Mom and Dad were mean for not letting me. I do not want my son to feel that way. He's a child, not a pawn in a game. Can you help me explain to my mom that my concern is for the safety of everyone involved? -- SAFETY FIRST

DEAR SAFETY FIRST: Have a series of talks with your little boy. He needs to understand that, although Grandma loves him and wants him to visit, she is not always well enough to look after him properly if he does, which is why you won't allow it. It isn't his fault, it isn't your fault, and it isn't Grandma's. If Grandma could come to visit you occasionally for a few days, it might give her more time with your boy and be good for both of them.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 46-year-old, single gay man. Although I've had a few crushes, I have never been deeply in love. I don't like going out to the bars and, because my town is extremely Catholic, there are only a couple of gay-friendly ones.

Is it OK to not be actively looking for love? Everyone I know keeps asking me if I have found someone, and I keep telling them I don't believe in love. I'm content. I don't do anything but work, so I always say I never have time.

Is there something wrong with being single all your life and not having a significant other? I have my cat to love, as well as my sisters. Does a person have to be with someone if they are content being alone? Yes, I would like to go out, but why does it have to be with a partner? -- CONTENT LONER IN MONTANA

DEAR LONER: If you are comfortable flying solo, it is perfectly acceptable to live your life that way. The people who are telling you otherwise may mean well, but you do not have to take it to heart. Live your life the way you want, do not second guess yourself and don't allow yourself to be pressured. If you are content, you are doing fine.