DEAR ABBY: My friend "Nan" is planning her wedding and asked if I, along with our friends, would be bridesmaids. Fast-forward a few months: The bride-to-be is now pregnant. We're having our first get-together as a bridal party, and she wants us to serve only nonalcoholic "mocktails" for our girls' night in. I asked the maid of honor if we could have the option of alcohol, and she said no because that's what the bride wants.

Is it rude to drink in front of a pregnant bride? Obviously, I will honor Nan's wishes, but I'd like a second opinion. Should this no-alcohol policy be in effect for all pre-wedding events (shower, bachelorette party, etc.)? I feel we're all adults and should be able to make our own choices. It's not as if we're going to get wasted at these things. Your thoughts, please? -- PERPLEXED BRIDESMAID

DEAR BRIDESMAID: In most cases, it is not considered rude to consume alcohol in front of someone who is abstaining, although many people choose to refrain, too. In this case, the bride would not have specified that she wanted no alcohol served if she was comfortable with her bridal party drinking when she couldn't join in. Her wishes should take precedence.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is disabled and hasn't worked in nearly 20 years. I have been the sole support of our family all this time.

My issue is, my husband seems to have serious problems with people he perceives as rich. The fact that some people have more money than we do rankles him no end. It has reached the point where the kids and I are really disturbed by his vitriol. In his eyes, no rich person can be a good person, and most of them don't deserve what they have. What can I do? -- WEARY OF LISTENING IN MAINE

DEAR WEARY: Your husband may be venting his frustration at his inability to work and provide for the family, and misdirecting his anger toward people he perceives as rich. Has he always been this way, or is this recent? If it's recent, his physician may want to see and evaluate him. If it's not, then it may be time to point out that money, while it can make the gears of life mesh more smoothly, is no guarantee of happiness, and nobody -- regardless of income -- has everything. Then tell him to stop.

DEAR ABBY: My wife has a terrible habit of always being early -- whether it's for a party, football game, picnic, reunion, etc. It has reached a point where friends and family no longer tell her the correct time they want us to arrive because they don't want her there early. Her family started it, and friends are following suit. Now she's upset because when she arrives she isn't the first, but everybody else is happy because she's arriving when she is supposed to.

Abby, most hosts don't want guests showing up early because they're still preparing, and early arrivals get in the way. Please advise my wife to respect that! -- EARLY BIRD GETS THE SCORN

DEAR BIRD: If, having been given the wrong time to arrive by multiple hosts, it hasn't dawned on your wife that what she's doing hasn't been appreciated, she isn't going to heed anything that I could write. Polite people show up on time. If they arrive at the location early, they do what they need to do to "waste" time until the appointed hour. In her zeal to make an entrance, she is being rude and intrusive, and if she shows up early, the host should put her to work.

DEAR ABBY: I am in a loving relationship with a kind and caring man, "Byron." He has a preteen son, "Eli," from a previous relationship. Eli stays with us several days a week, and I watch him while Byron goes to work. Byron and I would like to spend the rest of our lives together, but I'm uncertain if I can truly be a stepmother to his son.

Eli often yells at and hits his dad. He calls his dad stupid, among other things. He asks for expensive items during every visit, often refuses to bathe and won't eat anything other than fast food or pizza. If Byron has to say no to Eli because he doesn't have the money for something, Eli throws a temper tantrum worse than a 2-year-old.

I know the kid is capable of better behavior because he doesn't behave this way with his mother or grandmother. Byron doesn't discipline his son at all, which allows his rude and disrespectful behavior to continue. I worry about the boy's future. How will he hold a job if he acts this way toward a boss?

I like Eli very much. When he's in a good mood, he's the kindest child I can think of. But when his mood turns, it's like the dark side takes over. I love Byron. I would like to marry him. But I don't know if I can handle watching Eli be so disrespectful to his father. Sometimes it makes me feel like ending things. Please advise me on what to do. -- HESITANT "STEPMOM"

DEAR "STEPMOM": I hope you realize that Eli behaves the way he does because his father allows it. Byron may do this because he feels guilty about the divorce and is afraid his son will "hate" him if he asserts himself. Your gentleman friend really needs to take some parenting classes because his failure to act isn't good for Eli. Please suggest it.

DEAR ABBY: I'm surprised by how many people choose not to use headphones while talking on the phone, listening to music or watching videos in public places. Instead, they use the speaker option or their Bluetooth speakers for all to hear.

I travel frequently. It's bad enough to suffer through one side of the conversation, but hearing both is worse (and these folks talk at top volume and make no attempt to step out of earshot). Lately, I have also noticed people watching videos in restaurants.

At my apartment's pool, several neighbors do the same thing. Sometimes the music includes offensive language, which I find inappropriate at a family pool. I'm tempted to start competing with them with random videos and music, but I know that's wrong. Is there a reasonable way to handle these folks? -- BLASTED OUT IN ARIZONA

DEAR BLASTED: If you are in a restaurant, ask the manager to move you to a quieter table. If you are bothered at your apartment swimming pool, take your complaint to the manager of the complex so a sign can be posted asking tenants to keep the volume low on their devices or wear headphones. It's worth a try. Do not make the mistake of confronting them yourself.

P.S. Consider putting on headphones and listening to something of your choosing. It will drown out what you don't want to hear.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband for 17 years. After several years, I realized he had some depression issues. Ten years ago, after he was diagnosed with PTSD, he stopped working and has been at home ever since.

I work full time, pay the bills, take care of the kids, run the errands, drop the kids off at practice, clean the house, everything! He does nothing but sleep. He stays in bed for days on end and showers once a week. We haven't slept in the same room in five years.

I'm so lonely. I hate being married to him, and I'm not sure how his depression affects my kids. He takes medicine but refuses to see a therapist. I want to leave and have a life. I feel stuck in this marriage out of guilt. What do I do? -- HAD IT IN KENTUCKY

DEAR HAD IT: Make an appointment for yourself with a licensed mental health professional to discuss your situation and your guilt. Please do this before you have a mental or physical breakdown from the stress you are under.

While I sympathize with your husband's mental problems, the fact that he refuses to do all he can to fix them tells me it is time to take care of yourself -- for your children's sake -- because you are all they have. Because your husband's meds are not working, he should have mentioned that fact years ago to the doctor who has been prescribing them.

DEAR ABBY: For a friend's birthday, I sent a $150 food delivery gift card, saying to put it toward meals when I visited for three days the following week. He called, told me I was "cheap" and said it was not a "gift" if it included money that would be spent on myself.

We are new friends and have never exchanged gifts. Please help me understand if I was inappropriate. -- MEANT WELL IN UTAH

DEAR MEANT WELL: You made an honest mistake. However, what you did was less inappropriate than your new friend's ungracious response, which was just plain insulting. On the next gift-giving occasion -- if you are still friends -- send him a book on etiquette, just for him.

DEAR ABBY: I am planning a trip to visit my friend in England. I studied abroad two years ago, and I'm excited to go back to my old stomping grounds and reminisce.

I got very close to this friend while I was there, and we talk on Facebook every so often. Obviously, because of the distance, we aren't best friends, but we still consider ourselves "trans-Atlantic sisters."

I'm on a pretty tight budget and want to start planning for expenses. Would it be rude to ask her if I can stay with her? Or should I just ask for suggestions on places to stay and see if she offers? -- TRAVELER IN TEXAS

DEAR TRAVELER: While it wouldn't be rude to ask, I vote for the latter option and see if she suggests it. (She probably will.)