DEAR ABBY: I'm a man in my early 30s who was born with a moderately severe form of cerebral palsy. This disability has always been a major part of my life. As a child, I used a wheelchair and had several surgeries on my legs that were somewhat traumatic. However, through physical therapy and the encouragement of my parents, I was able to learn to do most things on my own, to the point that I got my own apartment, went to college and on to grad school. I support myself just fine.

The problem is, when I was 23 (10 years ago), I was diagnosed with HIV. It was contracted through sex during a time when I was depressed. It was difficult for me emotionally for a few months, but because of my experience with my disability, I was able to pull myself together pretty quickly.

Healthwise, I'm doing great, but I have never told my parents. They are in their early 60s and have worked in fields of government where they encountered HIV decades ago. I don't believe they have any current information about the disease and the effectiveness of treatment.

Should I tell them about my diagnosis? I'm constantly torn between a feeling that I should be raising awareness and destigmatizing HIV, and a fear that they aren't going to understand. I'm not sick, I'm not dying, and my life is not ruined. The advances of the past 30 years have allowed that. But I still feel like letting them know I'm HIV-positive would be a burden on them, especially after what I've faced with cerebral palsy. Should I tell them? And what's the best approach? -- POSITIVELY POSITIVE

DEAR POSITIVE: If your parents are intelligent, they should have some idea that HIV treatment has improved over the decades. Because you appear to be eager to "raise awareness," I suggest that you tell them about your status in as upbeat a manner as possible. Tell them you love them, that you are doing great, your meds are working well, but you thought they ought to know.

DEAR ABBY: I told a close girlfriend of mine I had bought my soon-to-be-born granddaughter a baby ring and plan on giving it to my daughter-in-law at the shower. I was really excited about it. A week later my friend texted me asking if she would be stepping on my toes if she bought the baby a little baby bracelet.

My first reaction was yes, and that she was trying to upstage me at the shower. At any rate, my baby ring would not be as special as I want it to be. Am I wrong in feeling this way? Is it appropriate for her to do that? Now I feel bad that I'm making my granddaughter miss out on a beautiful gift because of my selfishness. I would appreciate your help. -- NOT SPECIAL IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR NOT SPECIAL: This may not be the answer you are expecting, but I would be remiss if I didn't share my thoughts with you. I am concerned about the wisdom of buying a ring for a small child, particularly a baby. Babies spend a lot of time with their little hands in their mouths. You must know that the ring would not be worn by your granddaughter because such an item could choke an infant (and the bracelet, too, for that matter). Discuss that gift with the child's mother before giving it.

As to your friend's idea of a bracelet, if she was trying to upstage you, she wouldn't have told you about her idea. Let it go.

DEAR ABBY: My husband's best friend remarried a couple of years ago, and the new wife, "Jane," is a handful. When we get together, she's as free-spirited and open as you can get, sexually. She hangs on her husband like a magnet, grabbing at him provocatively and letting everyone know anything and everything about her sexual attraction and their sex life.

At first it was funny, since they were newlyweds and all, but it isn't funny any longer. Frankly, it's nauseating. I would like to get together more often, minus the X-rated show. I'm concerned that if I say something (and everyone knows I don't usually bite my tongue), it will cause a major rift between all of us. I don't want to keep my husband from his best friend. Any advice? -- MATURE ONE IN INDIANA

DEAR MATURE ONE: When Jane's behavior presents itself, ask her to tone it down because it makes you uncomfortable. If that doesn't work, the only guaranteed way for Jane's antics to not bother you will be for you to encourage your husband to socialize separately with his best friend so you see Jane as little as possible.

DEAR ABBY: I am a gay man. A few weeks ago, a neighbor I became close to confided to me that her husband is homophobic. When she said he wasn't comfortable around me, I agreed with her that it was best to give them both space and discontinue our friendship. Then her husband approached me and apologized. He told me he is not homophobic, and he wants to be friends, so I decided to forgive.

Lately, he has been trying to include me in his friend group within the neighborhood. I appreciate it, but part of me in all honesty is a bit afraid. Not knowing what he may have mentioned to his friends and how they may treat me has me worried. Should I try and be friends with them and try to repair the friendship? Or should I let it go? -- OUT AND PROUD IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR OUT AND PROUD: I'd hate to see you isolate yourself. Integrating the neighborhood would be beneficial to all. Give it a try, gauge the way these individuals treat you and make your final decision then.

DEAR ABBY: I work with a wonderful older woman. She is smart, funny, and comes to work with a positive attitude. Unfortunately, she smells of cat urine. It's really bad -- to the point I have moved out of our shared office, and there are plans to move her into her own office. However, that may be months off. She still has office mates, and she's in kind of a "hub."

She lives alone with two dogs and an unknown (to me) number of cats. Her children are grown but don't live nearby. How can I kindly address this with her? I don't want to hurt her feelings, but something has got to give. I have let management know, but they are reluctant to address this. -- NOSE KNOWS IN THE SOUTH

DEAR NOSE: It is not your job to address this problem with your co-worker. It is management's responsibility. Because you have complained and nothing was done, it's time for the others who are affected by the odor to address management about it collectively.

DEAR ABBY: I am a transgender female who is working on my marriage to my wife of 41 years. I started my transition in 2011.

We have had our ups and downs during the course of our marriage. We have two sons and eight beautiful grandchildren. All of them know about my transition to womanhood, and my family also knows. What I need now is some advice to help our marriage. We are strongly committed to working on it. -- REAL ME IN OHIO

DEAR REAL YOU: Many couples choose to stay together and keep their marriage intact when one partner transitions. You and your wife can find help -- and support -- at the nearest LGBT center that offers couples counseling. If there isn't one in your community, check the nearest large city to where you live.

You and your wife should also reach out to the Straight Spouse Network, which has been mentioned in my column before. This group was started in 1986 by Amity Pierce Buxton, Ph.D., and its mission is to build bridges of understanding for couples of mixed sexual orientation or gender variance. The contact information is straightspouse.org.

DEAR ABBY: I have two adult children who are divorced and both live out of state. My son has no children, and my daughter has two who are now adults. I'm close to my son but have been estranged from my daughter and grandchildren for almost 20 years. (There is no possibility of a reconciliation.)

I have not explained the details about this situation to anyone. My close friends know I have no contact with them and, thankfully, to their credit, they haven't asked. My co-workers, however, want to know about my family. I have tried giving them generic information, such as "they live out of state," but a few keep asking for more details, such as when are they coming to visit, what do they do, etc. Some are being friendly, but a couple of them are busybodies. What can I say to deter them and their questions without being rude? -- COMPLICATED IN VIRGINIA

DEAR COMPLICATED: This situation is more common than many people realize, and the best way to stop nosy people from repeatedly asking questions would simply be to say, "We are estranged." Period. If someone is so insensitive as to question you about why, you are free to say you prefer not to discuss it -- now or ever.

DEAR ABBY: What would you say about a married man who cultivates online friendships with young women? He is in contact with one of them every hour, calling or texting. Mostly it is innocent, but there are very warm texts that include "kisses" icons ("just pictures, nothing more!").

He does not hide this from his wife. He tells her he is enjoying very much the communication with a young, beautiful woman. He says it is just a game for him, he has no feelings for them, he loves his wife and only her (and she feels it strongly). Do you think this kind of communication is acceptable? -- TRIVIAL FLIRT IN RUSSIA

DEAR TRIVIAL FLIRT: I don't think so. The husband may not be cheating on his wife in the classic sense, but calling and texting is not only disrespectful to the wife he says he loves, but also to the young women who may not understand that it's "just a game."