DEAR ABBY: A couple of years ago, I was working as a certified nursing assistant in a nursing home. One day, I decided to stay beyond my usual evening shift into the night shift, as I had a few times before. While working the night shift, I was violently sexually assaulted by a fellow CNA. The incident caused me to be so traumatized that I quit that job within the next few days.

Although I reported the co-worker to my boss, they did next to nothing about it. I also reported him to the police, but as far as I know, nothing has been done. I moved on to doing in-home care and then to an assisted living facility.

I have recently taken a higher-paying CNA position in another nursing home. This nursing home has so many similarities to the former one that I find myself having anxiety attacks, flashbacks and the feeling of constantly having to watch my back. I'm extremely uncomfortable here and constantly feel afraid to go to work. My husband has a hard time understanding the effects of such a traumatizing event, so I have a difficult time getting sympathy from him.

I really want to quit this job. I'm under so much mental and emotional stress that I feel like it's ruining me. At the same time, we need the money, and I wonder if I should just push through and stick with it. If I quit, I'm afraid my husband won't fully understand why I couldn't just stay at the job, and it may cause conflict as well as financial stress. Should I quit and find a place that's less of a trigger or stick it out? -- WORN DOWN IN WASHINGTON

DEAR WORN DOWN: You should have received counseling after your assault to help you get past these triggers, which even if you quit this job may continue to occur in other environments. Before making this decision, please consult a licensed therapist who specializes in treating patients who suffer from PTSD.

Although my impulse is to advise you to quit "stat," because of your husband's inability to understand what you have gone through, a mental health professional may be able to help him understand why you may need to work in in-home care or an assisted living facility rather than for this employer.

DEAR ABBY: After 47 years of friendship, my friend ghosted me. This had never happened before, so I was left feeling very confused and sad. A year later, I accidentally dialed her number, and she answered. We talked as if no time had passed.

She told me I had hurt her feelings. It wasn't intentional, and I apologized. Some time later, she told me she'd call me back, but she didn't. I clearly recall our last conversation, and I didn't say anything that would've hurt her.

It has been two years, and I haven't attempted to contact her since. Should I reach out to her again or consider this friendship over? -- HURTING, TOO, IN DALLAS

DEAR HURTING: This friendship has run its course, for whatever reason. However, abrupt changes in personality and behavior can be a symptom of serious illness in older people. In light of the fact that you have known this woman for nearly 50 years, and you still care about her, you might want to check with one of her relatives to be sure she's all right.

DEAR ABBY: My 20-year-old daughter recently caught me "actively engaged" in watching porn. I tried to do it late at night when I thought everyone was asleep. My daughter now thinks I'm a pervert.

Her mother raised her with conservative beliefs about any expression of sexuality. I'm worried about her ability to make a future marriage work, and I want the wonderful relationship we shared back. Some people have suggested that as she matures and becomes more aware of the real world, she'll come around. But I'm a relatively old 58 to have a child her age, and I don't want to wait until I'm gone for her to "come around." What can I do? -- MISSING MY BABY GIRL

DEAR MISSING: Your baby girl isn't a baby; she's a young adult woman. Most individuals are uncomfortable with the idea of their parents as sexual beings despite the glaring evidence to the contrary. She may have reacted the way she did because she was embarrassed by what she saw.

Do not broach the subject of what her marriage may be like if and when she marries, because it's really her affair, not yours. Apologize for the unfortunate turn of events, and use this as an opportunity to be more careful in the future.

DEAR ABBY: Recently, a good friend invited me along on a six-night trip to Waikiki. We shared the same hotel room. He slept in the king-size bed; I slept on the pull-out sofa in the living room area.

I ended up getting bed bugs and figured out where I got them from when I got back to my apartment in Los Angeles. When I told my friend what happened, he immediately said he didn't want to be involved or be a part of this. Then he began emailing and texting me saying that if I filed a claim, he would be banned by the hotel chain and lose his gold member points. Then he began blaming me and asked how I knew I didn't get them from a movie theater or maybe the airplane or even a well-known coffee chain I go to. Now he won't return my phone calls, emails or text messages. I am shocked and feel hurt and confused. -- BITTEN IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR BITTEN: I understand why you are shocked and hurt, but please don't be confused. Your former good friend values his gold membership status more than he does your friendship, which speaks volumes about his priorities. While he isn't wrong that you could have picked up the bedbugs on the plane or in a movie theater -- bedbugs are all over the place and hard to get rid of -- if he was a true friend, he wouldn't be ghosting you now.

Call the hotel and explain what happened. Give them the room number so they can investigate and possibly prevent another guest from having the same experience you did.

DEAR ABBY: I am 70 years old. Because of a combination of good luck, good genes and years of exercising and eating right, I look OK for my age. Many of my friends have not been so fortunate and haven't aged well.

When I see someone that I haven't seen in a long time, often they will say, "You look great." Can you please give me a good reply? I say, "Thank you," but that doesn't seem to be enough. "You look great, too" seems inappropriate. Please help. -- GOOD RESPONSE IN THE SOUTH

DEAR GOOD RESPONSE: Instead of "You look great, too," try this: "Oh, my. You're a sight for sore eyes! How long has it been?"

DEAR ABBY: My husband died in 2001. There is a man I have been seeing for 17 years I'll call Jack. He has a home in Georgia. I live in Pennsylvania, where I share a home with my grown son and my daughter, her husband and my 6-year-old grandson.

Jack has now retired and wants me to move down to Georgia with him. I have a mortgage on my home, which I pay. My kids cannot afford that payment, although they do contribute a little every month to live there. I can't just quit my job and go to Georgia and look for a job. I need to have one before I go down there.

Well, I finally landed a job there, but sadly, they don't offer benefits, which worries me. My other issue is, I am very close to my grandson. I'll be 12 hours away, so besides video-chatting, I won't get to see him or interact with him.

Anytime I have gone to Georgia for a week and returned home, my grandson was very emotional. I am scared that if I go to Georgia and the boy doesn't do well with the situation, I will be stuck down there. Visiting home will be almost impossible as I only get one week's vacation with this new job, and I can't just jump in the car on a weekend because I would be driving the whole weekend and not have any time to spend with my family.

I am torn between going and not going. I honestly don't know what to do. I am just so scared. What would you do? -- TORN BY LOVE

DEAR TORN: The ideal solution would be for Jack to move where you are so you can keep your job and benefits and pay the mortgage on your home. Your adult children are not financially independent, and your grandson is not emotionally resilient enough to adjust to your absence. I do not think you are in a position to go anywhere until these issues are resolved.

DEAR ABBY: When ordering food at different ethnic restaurants here in the U.S., should people always speak in English, even if they are learning the language of the country the food is from? For instance, if you go to a Mexican restaurant and hear waiters speaking Spanish, and you are learning Spanish but are by no means fluent, is it polite to try and order in Spanish, or is it considered rude?

My worry is that they will assume I think they don't know English and that I'm being condescending, especially if they respond with something I don't understand in the same language that I was just trying to speak. Should a person always ask, "Can I practice my French (or any language you're trying to practice)?" or should one save it for international travel, private language lessons or another time? What do you think is proper in this situation? -- LOST IN TRANSLATION

DEAR LOST: I printed something on this subject three years ago (Sept. 5, 2016). It is worth going back into my archive and reviewing.

To avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings, assume the server speaks English. If you wish to practice your second language, tell the person you are trying to sharpen your language skills, ask if the person would mind your doing that and ask to be corrected if you make a mistake.