DEAR ABBY: My 7-year-old granddaughter, "Hannah," is the light of my life. Her mother walked out on her when she was 2, and her mother's parents don't know she exists. Her mother hid her pregnancy and delivery, and the child has lived with us since birth.

My heart has always broken for her maternal grandparents. I could not imagine not knowing Hannah and missing out on her life. I have always wanted to send them pictures or even introduce her to them (they don't live far from us). My husband says it's not our place, and we run the risk of them trying to get some kind of custody.

Currently, my son and Hannah's mother share legal custody, but he has full physical custody. There has been no communication from her mother in at least five years.

Hannah is starting to ask questions about her mother, and we have always been truthful with her. It will not be long before she puts things together and realizes she has another set of grandparents. Should we inform them about their grandchild? -- HOLDING A SECRET IN THE EAST

DEAR HOLDING: Because your son has full physical custody of Hannah, tell him about your concerns. Hannah's maternal grandparents have been in the dark for so long, the news of her existence is bound to be a bombshell. There's a reason why their daughter didn't want them to know about her, and as you pointed out, there could be legal ramifications. Because Hannah is now asking questions about her mother, her father should prepare to answer them for her. However well-intentioned you may be, this matter is for your son to deal with, not you.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a teen girl. "Chloe" and I have been friends since first grade. Even though we went to different high schools and have made other friends, we still remained close, spending summer vacations with each other's family.

We are now juniors in high school. Last summer she told me she's a lesbian and shared all her feelings with me. I understand her, and we're still close friends, sharing each other's secrets. Her family knows and accepts her sexual orientation as I and my family do.

Three months ago, she met a partner, and I was truly happy for her. Unfortunately, her partner must feel insecure about our friendship because she has turned Chloe against me. Chloe no longer returns my calls or texts.

I miss my friend and confidante badly and can't get over it. How can I get over my loss? I can't understand why we all can't be friends. I don't know what to do. -- MISSING MY BESTIE IN FLORIDA

DEAR MISSING: You can't "all be friends" because Chloe's girlfriend is threatened by the long-standing relationship you have had with her. This has nothing to do with you; it is a reflection of the girl's insecurity and possessiveness. If things don't work out with Chloe's girlfriend, there is a distinct possibility that she will be back in your life. Do not burn any bridges, but do continue to form relationships with other people. It will help to soothe the loneliness you are feeling.

DEAR ABBY: I would like to throw a 70th birthday party for myself, but I don't want the guests to think I'm doing it to get presents. What should I do? -- LOOKING TO HAVE FUN

DEAR LOOKING: Include with the invitations: "The only present I require is the gift of your presence."

DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "Bradley," is the man of my dreams. We have been together three years, live together and have a dog. Brad is in his early 30s, and I'm turning 30 this year.

We decided on a long engagement so we could enjoy the planning process. Our wedding is scheduled for next year. We both work hard and live comfortably. But we struggle now and then to make ends meet, especially around the holidays, although it's nothing we can't resolve by cutting back a bit.

The issue: I am ready for a child. He wants to wait until we have been married for at least two years. He feels it would require a lot of financial and lifestyle sacrifice that he doesn't want to make right now.

I understand where he's coming from because I felt the same way for a while. But lately, I have this overpowering sense of readiness and yearning to become a mother. No matter what I do to suppress this instinct, I am more and more heartbroken every day knowing this reality is so far away.

How should I cope with this? I am becoming more and more depressed. Should I confront my fiance? Maybe do couples counseling? Brad is always willing to listen, but I don't think he understands how it feels. -- FUTURE MOMMY IN RHODE ISLAND

DEAR FUTURE MOMMY: Because you and your fiance are not on the same page regarding this issue, couples counseling could be helpful. However, because you are becoming increasingly frustrated and depressed, also discuss these feelings with your physician. If you are worried about your biological clock, women have options today that weren't available in years past, and you and Brad may want to explore them.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 69-year-old divorcee who was married for 48 years. The last 25 years were very lonely. There were no intimate relations, hugs or kisses, and we slept in separate bedrooms. After I retired, I learned my husband had been cheating on me for God knows how long, possibly 20 years.

After our divorce, I was finally persuaded to do some online dating, which has been quite an adventure, both positive and negative! I am currently happy in an exclusive year-long relationship, but because I have been out of the dating world for almost half a century, I am confused by the new rules.

My boyfriend sometimes expects me to share the cost of what we do, whether it be restaurant, movies, golf, airline tickets, etc. My mother taught me that the gentleman always pays, so please give me current advice about present-day dating etiquette, if you would be so kind. -- CURRENT IN TEXAS

DEAR CURRENT: What your mother taught you was true in her day. However, because women are now in the working world, have incomes of their own, and are on a more equal par with men, they now share some or all of those expenses. Much depends upon the financial disparity between the two. This is an important subject you should discuss with your gentleman friend to see if you can agree on an arrangement that's comfortable for both of you.

DEAR ABBY: I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. We're both 30, and we have pretty much decided to tie the knot. The only thing holding me back is his hygiene.

When we met, he wasn't all that into showering and using deodorant. Slowly, over time, he has started to shower daily and wear deodorant, but he still doesn't brush his teeth.

His apartment is my biggest nightmare. It is filled with opened delivery boxes, there are beard trimmings all over the bathroom, a pink ring of death in his shower, and his stovetop -- well, you get the point.

Should I mention that I'm one of the cleanest people I know? I grew up with well-dressed, great-smelling men in my life. They're the walking, talking real-life versions of a men's fashion commercial.

Is this a make-or-break situation? We get along in so many other ways. -- HYGIENE'S THE PROBLEM

DEAR H.T.P.: I'm glad you asked. Yes, this is a make-or-break situation, and it needs to be resolved before you sign up with this "cellmate" for life. While I appreciate his making the effort to shower as a step in the right direction, his lack of attention to his dental health is a cause for worry. Decaying teeth and periodontal disease can cause serious health problems -- including heart issues -- later in life and may be related to Alzheimer's disease.

If you think his living conditions are a turn-off now, consider how they'll affect you if you marry him. He either never learned or doesn't care to pick up and clean up after himself. That task will be all yours. If you really love him, draw the line now, and perhaps it will put him on the right path. Better late than never.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of several years financially supports his parents for cultural reasons. It was expected of him from an early age because he is the only child, and he intends to support them for the rest of their days.

Not only does he pay their mortgage and provide a sizable monthly allowance, but I have just learned that he is paying off all of the debts his father has accumulated over the years as well. This is in addition to the tens of thousands of dollars in spending money he has given them to visit the homeland every few years. Combine this with his massive school loan repayments and it's unlikely he will have enough to be able to retire, let alone for us to have children.

I am at the age where if I am going to have kids, it needs to be within the next few years, and it is looking unlikely. I love him dearly, but I'm wondering if I should stay with him, knowing that his parents will eventually need to live with us for the rest of their lives. Even questioning this is making me feel guilty and selfish. (By the way, he has told me he would have proposed by now but couldn't afford a ring as all of his discretionary income goes to his parents.) Advice? -- GETTING RESENTFUL

DEAR RESENTFUL: Have you told your boyfriend how you feel? If you haven't discussed it with him, you should. He sounds like a caring and dutiful son. However, unless you intend to join him in becoming a childless indentured servant to his parents, end the relationship.