DEAR ABBY: How should I tell my father that I have chosen a career he never wanted me to consider? I plan to become a police officer. Abby, all my life I have felt the call to help people. I know a career in law enforcement brings with it the possibility of danger, especially in today's climate. But I have always known I would be the person running toward danger while everyone else is running away from it. I am passionate about this, and my wife fully supports it.

The issue is, my father was a police officer. He hated every minute of it. He has always said he never wanted me to take that path. I understand all he wants is to keep me safe. At the same time, I don't want to miss out on this career. I don't want to spend the rest of my life regretting that I didn't follow my heart and do something I know I would have success with. Should I go through with the testing and, if I am selected, tell him then? Please help, because this is keeping me up at night. -- FOLLOWING MY HEART

DEAR FOLLOWING: Your father loves you, but he cannot -- and should not -- dictate how you live your life. A career in law enforcement is not for everyone for the reason you mentioned. It would have been helpful if you had explained exactly what it was about policing that made him hate it, assuming that he told you.

When he finds out, expect him to be very upset and possibly angry about your choice. But I see no reason why you should upset him before finding out if you qualify for a job in law enforcement. If you do pass the exams, give him the news then.

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law recently asked me for parenting advice. Our kids are about the same age, and she has been having issues with her preschooler's behavior that I don't have with my son.

Abby, the reason her kid is out of control is she and her husband don't give him any limits. They don't believe in saying "no" and try instead to "guide him to positive choices." They never discipline him, even when he hits or screams at them, and as a result, he's mean and disrespectful. Little kids are uncomfortable with that much freedom.

Even though she asked, I don't think my sister-in-law really wants my advice, at least not the advice I would like to give her. So what do I say when she asks? It's clear they need help, but I'm judgmental and probably not a good messenger. I tried loaning her a parenting book I've used, but it didn't take. -- PARENTING ADVICE IN CANADA

DEAR P.A.: Your sister-in-law may simply be venting her frustration when she dumps on you. When she asks for advice again, tell her that because you haven't faced the problems she's encountering, you don't feel "qualified" to advise her. Then suggest she ask her pediatrician for guidance.

DEAR ABBY: I just found out that my boyfriend of 12 years slept with my stepmother last year. She doesn't know I know, and now that I do, I struggle with it. Should I tell my dad what I found out, confront her or let sleeping dogs lie? I am deeply hurt. I feel like my heart has been torn out. How can I forgive and forget this? -- WOUNDED IN UTAH

DEAR WOUNDED: How did you happen upon this news? Did your boyfriend tell you? Unless you are absolutely certain it's true, do nothing. If you are certain, get rid of this poor excuse for a "boyfriend." And tell your father and stepmother what you know and how hurt you are.

DEAR ABBY: You always tell us to consider whether we would be better off with or without somebody. What if it's your sister? My sister and I are of retirement age and had a falling out. I felt she had become too needy, and she was very hurt when I told her so. She is awaiting my apology, which has been the pattern of our lives. Although we live 30 miles apart, I have no desire to contact her.

Because I was usually the one she went to for advice and companionship, I feel guilty for "abandoning" her and often wonder if she's OK. We are both healthy and self-sufficient. I love her because she's my sister, but I can truly say my life is easier and less complicated without her. The thought of contacting her is too much to bear. On the other hand, she's my sister. -- BETTER OFF IN COLORADO

DEAR BETTER OFF: You say your life is better off and less complicated without your needy sibling, and that you have no desire to contact her. OK. So what exactly is your question? Are you waiting for me to "order" you to call her and apologize? The price for that will be shouldering again the burden of her neediness. If you're worried about how she's doing, ask someone who is in touch with her. But hold a good thought. If you have heard nothing, she's probably fine. Bad news has a way of traveling fast.

DEAR ABBY: When we got married, I thought even though he told "everyone" he did it because he had to, that he truly did love me. But as the years have passed, I have realized that maybe he was telling the truth and he did marry me for that reason rather than for love. I feel unloved most of the time. Lately, I have been thinking maybe it's time to just move on. What's your advice? -- FEELING TORN

DEAR FEELING TORN: Rather than dwell on something your husband said in the past, raise the subject again. And when you do, tell him you are doing it because you feel unloved most of the time. If he tells you he meant it then and still feels that way, my advice is to ask yourself if this is the kind of marriage you want for the rest of your life. Some women are so afraid of the unknown that they would stay in this kind of marriage, regardless of the pain. Because I assume you have a child, you and your husband need to figure out if you can improve your relationship. If not, then it may be time to move on.

DEAR ABBY: I recently located a person I knew a long time ago who stole an expensive gold bracelet from me. I'd dated this guy for a while. He wore my bracelet, and I wore his. My bracelet was a gift from a relative I cared for deeply. His bracelet was a piece of junk, but I was a teenager with no brains and allowed him to wear mine. Well, we split up and he just disappeared. I tried getting my bracelet back but couldn't find him. As I mentioned, I found him on Facebook, married with children, and I felt this anger come over me. Should I contact him and ask what happened to my jewelry? -- GOLDEN GIRL IN MISSISSIPPI

DEAR GOLDEN GIRL: No, you should contact him and tell him you would like the item returned or be compensated for it. What "happened" to the bracelet was that he stole it. Because many years have passed since you two dated, the odds that he still has the bracelet are slim. But it's worth a try.

DEAR ABBY: I am 16 and have a hard time making friends. I have more guy friends than girl friends, which causes me problems. I got called a slut again the other day because of it. I'm a virgin and only have a crush on one of the guys I hang out with (my boyfriend). I have tried finding more female friends, but the drama is really hard to put up with. I have tried ignoring the comments, but after a while it gets hard to ignore. I'm not sure what else to do. Please help me out. I would be really grateful. -- MISUNDERSTOOD IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR MISUNDERSTOOD: I wish I could make the name-calling go away, but I can't. The perpetrator is most likely jealous because of the relationship you have with your boyfriend and other guy friends. Not everyone makes friends easily. It's nothing to be ashamed of; it's just a fact of life. That's why you should treasure the ones you do have -- because old friends are some of the best friends, and high school and its cliques won't last forever.

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago my family had a run of bad luck, which landed us in a homeless shelter. I got an apartment fairly quickly, and it's mine and my daughter's.

My mother was supposed to move in rent-free, but she brought her boyfriend, who I didn't want here. He's still here and barely contributes to the expenses. I recently lost my job and he promised to help out more financially, but he hasn't. He continues to mooch. This has caused so much stress between my mother and me. "Hate" is a strong word, but I hate him and want him out. He knows it, but makes no effort to leave. What can I do? -- WANTING MY OWN SPACE

DEAR WANTING: You are not helpless, and you shouldn't be held hostage because of your mother's feelings for her deadbeat boyfriend. Contact your state bar association to see what your legal rights are. Then tell your mother you want him out, give her a deadline to see that it happens, and suggest that she go with him if she can't bear to be separated from him. If he doesn't meet the deadline, put his belongings in a box, place them outside and change your locks.