DEAR ABBY: I just found out that my boyfriend of 12 years slept with my stepmother last year. She doesn't know I know, and now that I do, I struggle with it. Should I tell my dad what I found out, confront her or let sleeping dogs lie? I am deeply hurt. I feel like my heart has been torn out. How can I forgive and forget this? -- WOUNDED IN UTAH

DEAR WOUNDED: How did you happen upon this news? Did your boyfriend tell you? Unless you are absolutely certain it's true, do nothing. If you are certain, get rid of this poor excuse for a "boyfriend." And tell your father and stepmother what you know and how hurt you are.

DEAR ABBY: You always tell us to consider whether we would be better off with or without somebody. What if it's your sister? My sister and I are of retirement age and had a falling out. I felt she had become too needy, and she was very hurt when I told her so. She is awaiting my apology, which has been the pattern of our lives. Although we live 30 miles apart, I have no desire to contact her.

Because I was usually the one she went to for advice and companionship, I feel guilty for "abandoning" her and often wonder if she's OK. We are both healthy and self-sufficient. I love her because she's my sister, but I can truly say my life is easier and less complicated without her. The thought of contacting her is too much to bear. On the other hand, she's my sister. -- BETTER OFF IN COLORADO

DEAR BETTER OFF: You say your life is better off and less complicated without your needy sibling, and that you have no desire to contact her. OK. So what exactly is your question? Are you waiting for me to "order" you to call her and apologize? The price for that will be shouldering again the burden of her neediness. If you're worried about how she's doing, ask someone who is in touch with her. But hold a good thought. If you have heard nothing, she's probably fine. Bad news has a way of traveling fast.

DEAR ABBY: When we got married, I thought even though he told "everyone" he did it because he had to, that he truly did love me. But as the years have passed, I have realized that maybe he was telling the truth and he did marry me for that reason rather than for love. I feel unloved most of the time. Lately, I have been thinking maybe it's time to just move on. What's your advice? -- FEELING TORN

DEAR FEELING TORN: Rather than dwell on something your husband said in the past, raise the subject again. And when you do, tell him you are doing it because you feel unloved most of the time. If he tells you he meant it then and still feels that way, my advice is to ask yourself if this is the kind of marriage you want for the rest of your life. Some women are so afraid of the unknown that they would stay in this kind of marriage, regardless of the pain. Because I assume you have a child, you and your husband need to figure out if you can improve your relationship. If not, then it may be time to move on.

DEAR ABBY: I recently located a person I knew a long time ago who stole an expensive gold bracelet from me. I'd dated this guy for a while. He wore my bracelet, and I wore his. My bracelet was a gift from a relative I cared for deeply. His bracelet was a piece of junk, but I was a teenager with no brains and allowed him to wear mine. Well, we split up and he just disappeared. I tried getting my bracelet back but couldn't find him. As I mentioned, I found him on Facebook, married with children, and I felt this anger come over me. Should I contact him and ask what happened to my jewelry? -- GOLDEN GIRL IN MISSISSIPPI

DEAR GOLDEN GIRL: No, you should contact him and tell him you would like the item returned or be compensated for it. What "happened" to the bracelet was that he stole it. Because many years have passed since you two dated, the odds that he still has the bracelet are slim. But it's worth a try.

DEAR ABBY: I am 16 and have a hard time making friends. I have more guy friends than girl friends, which causes me problems. I got called a slut again the other day because of it. I'm a virgin and only have a crush on one of the guys I hang out with (my boyfriend). I have tried finding more female friends, but the drama is really hard to put up with. I have tried ignoring the comments, but after a while it gets hard to ignore. I'm not sure what else to do. Please help me out. I would be really grateful. -- MISUNDERSTOOD IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR MISUNDERSTOOD: I wish I could make the name-calling go away, but I can't. The perpetrator is most likely jealous because of the relationship you have with your boyfriend and other guy friends. Not everyone makes friends easily. It's nothing to be ashamed of; it's just a fact of life. That's why you should treasure the ones you do have -- because old friends are some of the best friends, and high school and its cliques won't last forever.

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago my family had a run of bad luck, which landed us in a homeless shelter. I got an apartment fairly quickly, and it's mine and my daughter's.

My mother was supposed to move in rent-free, but she brought her boyfriend, who I didn't want here. He's still here and barely contributes to the expenses. I recently lost my job and he promised to help out more financially, but he hasn't. He continues to mooch. This has caused so much stress between my mother and me. "Hate" is a strong word, but I hate him and want him out. He knows it, but makes no effort to leave. What can I do? -- WANTING MY OWN SPACE

DEAR WANTING: You are not helpless, and you shouldn't be held hostage because of your mother's feelings for her deadbeat boyfriend. Contact your state bar association to see what your legal rights are. Then tell your mother you want him out, give her a deadline to see that it happens, and suggest that she go with him if she can't bear to be separated from him. If he doesn't meet the deadline, put his belongings in a box, place them outside and change your locks.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly two years. He would literally do anything for me. He's incredibly affectionate and supportive, and a lot of women would love to have someone like him.

My problem is we see the world through completely different eyes. I'm an artist. I want to go out and explore the world and do crazy things. He's more comfortable at home with video games and he's not comfortable mingling with crowds. He can be overprotective sometimes, and when I bring up my concerns about possibly breaking up, he doesn't take me seriously and says, "You do this every time you're upset."

We live together and are dependent both financially and emotionally. Honestly, I would like to stay with him, but I'm torn about what to do. Should I leave someone I should be grateful for in order to chase selfish dreams? Or should I stay and encourage him to change? -- CHASING MY DREAMS

DEAR CHASING YOUR DREAMS: Your boyfriend isn't going to change. If you can't accept him the way he is, then it would be better for both of you to separate.

DEAR ABBY: I like to host parties for my kids, family events and game nights with friends. I love when my home is filled with loving family and friends. But when we open our home, there always seems to be someone who feels it necessary to point out something wrong with our home or something that should be fixed. It drives me nuts! I find it hard to respond without sounding snotty. When I'm invited to someone's home, I would never walk around and nitpick and point out problem areas. I would love it if you could give me examples of what I can say to deflect those not-so-helpful comments. -- HOST IN ILLINOIS

DEAR HOST: Allow me to offer you a menu. Feel free to pick and choose as you please:

1. "Oh, my! I hadn't noticed."

2. "Thank you for pointing that out. I'll have it fixed before you come back over." (And don't invite the person again.)

3. "The next time you visit, be sure to bring along your wrench."

DEAR ABBY: For our anniversary, I bought my wife a $1,500 necklace and told her that if she wanted, it could be exchanged at the store within a month.

The following week she went out with some friends and came back with a different piece of jewelry from the store that cost an additional $800. Besides the financial aspect, I'm feeling hurt that what I gave was not adequate enough for her. Am I being too sensitive here? -- HURT FEELINGS IN BOCA RATON

DEAR HURT FEELINGS: You are a generous and loving husband. You should not, however, feel hurt that your wife exchanged the necklace. You told her she could, and she took you up on it. Perhaps next time you should consider asking her what she would like, so you can choose the gift "together."