DEAR ABBY: My newly retired husband and I lead a nice life and are in good health. Our two girls are grown and established. Our battle is over my husband "taking back" some of the duties I have performed for years, like paying and mailing out our monthly bills, some of which I pay in person.
This task is easy for me and never a hardship. We have excellent credit. He now wants all the bills to come to him online, and he'll pay them online, leaving me out of the process. He knows I enjoyed doing it and considered it my purview.
I want to continue to handle bill paying as I always have, occasionally taking a statement to a department store or whatever. Paying for checks is not a problem for us. I use a debit card for regular shopping and a credit card in certain stores. I am not a spend-a-holic.
My husband paying bills online cuts me out of the process, and I don't like it. I prefer the method I have used for decades. Is this more of a control issue than anything else? Any ideas? -- STIFLED IN WASHINGTON
DEAR STIFLED: Yes, it is a control issue. It is also an indication that your husband doesn't have enough to do. Because the bill paying is partly a social outlet for you, you should not allow the task to be taken over. Tell your husband he needs to find something else to do -- mow the lawn, paint the garage, volunteer his time -- but not the bill paying because it makes you uncomfortable.
A compromise might be for him to pay some of the bills online and you pay the rest. However, if something unexpected happens to your husband (illness, death, murder?), you absolutely must know how the online system works so you can assume the task seamlessly.