DEAR ABBY: I have a guy friend who goes from girl to girl constantly. People talk about what a player he is and say he doesn't really like the women he's dating. He has been called desperate -- among other things. None of this ever gets to him. Even though we are just close friends, he has even asked ME out.

I think he's doing things all wrong, and I want to tell him so, but I know it's his life, and he's going to tell me that. I want people to stop talking behind his back. He annoys me so much when it comes to his dating life that I sometimes want to scream at his face. Do you have advice for me? -- GOOD (GIRL) FRIEND IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR FRIEND: Yes, I do. You have a right to express your opinions to your friend. That said, try to be less judgmental. Remain his friend but focus less on his dating life so much because it is not your business. You are making a mistake if you allow it to become an obsession.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of 10 years and I recently broke up over some photos he has displayed on his mantel. At one time, he had an 8-by-10 photo of me, which suddenly disappeared. He swore he had no idea what happened to it. He now has four photos (two are 8-by-10) of a woman he calls his "co-worker." She ushers with him at church on Sundays, and I know she has no interest in him.

I'm not a jealous person, but those photos have caused me hurt and embarrassment when others asked who the "babe" in the pictures is. He knew my feelings about them, but didn't take them down. He has two smaller pictures of the two of us, but you can't miss the two 8-by-10s when you enter the room.

Was I wrong in asking him to remove them? I still care for him, but my feelings don't seem to matter to him. -- PERPLEXED AND HURTING IN FLORIDA

DEAR PERPLEXED: You weren't wrong to tell your ex how you felt about the photos. And you are right that your feelings on the subject weren't important to him. It appears he became fixated on the church lady, which is why you were smart to break off the relationship.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter says that if I send a wedding gift of money to the bride and groom even though we weren't invited, it would make the bride feel guilty for not including me/us.

My daughter and the bride have been friends and sports teammates for 25 years. We watched her grow up into a fine person. She had a small, backyard wedding, and we completely understood and agreed with her decision to not invite us. What is the proper etiquette on this topic? -- DON'T KNOW IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR DON'T KNOW: The rule of etiquette is that if you accept a wedding invitation, you should give the couple a gift. However, if you do not attend and still would like to send something, it's not only not a breach of etiquette, it is a generous and loving gesture. By all means send the check along with a sweet note expressing the sentiments you shared with me. I assure you, the bride will be touched by your thoughtfulness.

DEAR ABBY: I am a platonic friend and part-time caregiver of a wealthy gentleman. I now reside in his residence out of necessity. We respect each other, and neither of us intends to be anything more than friends.

My problem is his family. They know I exist, but refuse to get to know me. They do not allow me to accompany him to holiday events at their homes, even at his request. His sister, the matriarch and a devout Catholic, has been verbally and emotionally abusive to me. My friend believes it's all about his money, and they consider me a threat.

I always feel hurt and rejected on these special occasions. I have no family of my own, and I'm alone on holidays most of the time. How can I overcome this hurtful situation? His nieces and nephews never call him or invite him to dinner in between holidays. Neither of us has children, so he is loyal to his relatives above all else. How do I get past the rejection? -- MORE THAN A CAREGIVER

DEAR MORE: Unless your friend has made a point of remembering you in his will, I hope you realize that when he passes, all you will receive from his family is a wave goodbye -- if that. The disrespect and lack of empathy "the matriarch" has shown you is shameful. That your friend/patient lacks the backbone to insist you be included suggests to me that your relationship appears to be a one-way street.

The way to get past this would be to make sure you are saving enough money (if you haven't) to tide you over until you find a job after his death. In the meantime, allow yourself enough personal time to cultivate relationships with people who won't ignore you during holidays. It's important that you not become more isolated and disconnected than you are. If you are religious, your own church might be a place to start.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is the biggest procrastinator I have ever known. He has piles of things lying around that need his attention and projects that need to be finished but get put off day after day.

When I remind him of what needs doing, he accuses me of nagging, so I have stopped reminding him. But it's boiling inside of me. It has gotten worse since he retired. Also, there are the hours he spends on his iPad.

If I handled things the way he does, nothing would get done, and our house would be a pig pen. I'm frustrated and need some advice on how to handle this without being a nag. I'm ready to go on strike. -- BEYOND FRUSTRATED IN OHIO

DEAR BEYOND: What's going on is unfair to you. If this is your husband's pattern, then he needs to know how angry you are about it. That isn't nagging; it is venting. Because he has gotten worse since his retirement, he may need to be seen by his doctor to ensure it isn't caused by a health problem.

I'm sorry you didn't mention what kinds of projects your husband is procrastinating about finishing. If they are minor repairs or handyman things, consider hiring someone to finish them. If they are financial, your accountant may be able to recommend someone.

Please consider what I am telling you. The only thing you shouldn't do is continue to tolerate this.

DEAR ABBY: I am a gay male. My sister, "Cate," is in what appears outwardly to be a committed relationship, but I know for a fact it isn't.

Her boyfriend, "Darren," invited me out for coffee a few days ago, and while he was discussing some of their relationship troubles, he told me he isn't sure that he's straight. He then proceeded to say he could easily see himself dating me!

I don't know what to do. I want to tell Cate, but I don't want to wreck her relationship. The other problem is, I also feel attracted to Darren, but it's not my place to pursue him. Any advice would be helpful. -- IN A BIND IN NEW YORK

DEAR IN A BIND: Your sister's relationship with Darren was "wrecked" the minute he told you that he isn't certain he's heterosexual and that he has his eye on you. If you and Darren were to become involved, it would likely devastate Cate, and I don't recommend it. Talk to Darren and tell him it's time to come clean with Cate. Then, if he doesn't, a loyal sibling should tell his sister before she wastes any more time on this boyfriend.

DEAR ABBY: I supervise someone I'll call "Kevin." He is lazy, and his work is so sloppy he should have been fired long ago. I and many supervisors before me have tried to no avail to motivate him, but we work in government, and he knows how to game the system. Our unit's reputation has suffered because of Kevin. For reasons beyond my control, we are stuck working together.

I supervise another person who is retiring soon, and I would like to help plan his retirement party. Kevin is also nearing retirement age. When Kevin finally leaves, am I obligated to plan a retirement party for him? He has never lifted a finger for anybody, and he sure doesn't deserve a party honoring the fact that he sat in a chair for 30 years. Or should I not help plan either party? -- STUCK SUPERVISOR

DEAR STUCK: Unless party-planning is part of your job designation, you are not obligated to arrange one for Kevin if you prefer not to, considering what a problem he has been for your unit. A party later celebrating the welcoming of "new staff" would probably go over better.

DEAR ABBY: I've been invited to go away with my son's family, and I don't want to do it. I have done it before, and it never goes well because of my son's mouth. I think he may have an anger issue, but if I say anything to him about it, he gets angry. I can't tolerate his language, and he says he can't change.

I want to be with my grandchildren, but his mouth and his attitude make me timid and uncomfortable, and I end up wishing I were home. I told him I was sorry I couldn't go and why. He says his family is happy, and I should just let it roll off, but I feel I have a right not to be subjected to a week of constant cursing. It feels abusive. Am I wrong? -- WISHING IT WERE DIFFERENT

DEAR WISHING: If the bad language is directed at another person, it is abusive and disrespectful. If it is used as an adjective, it is "merely" grating and unpleasant. A vacation is supposed to be a time to relax and enjoy oneself. Because you feel your son's language is so bad it would prevent you from doing that, you should not subject yourself to it.