DEAR ABBY: I am a platonic friend and part-time caregiver of a wealthy gentleman. I now reside in his residence out of necessity. We respect each other, and neither of us intends to be anything more than friends.

My problem is his family. They know I exist, but refuse to get to know me. They do not allow me to accompany him to holiday events at their homes, even at his request. His sister, the matriarch and a devout Catholic, has been verbally and emotionally abusive to me. My friend believes it's all about his money, and they consider me a threat.

I always feel hurt and rejected on these special occasions. I have no family of my own, and I'm alone on holidays most of the time. How can I overcome this hurtful situation? His nieces and nephews never call him or invite him to dinner in between holidays. Neither of us has children, so he is loyal to his relatives above all else. How do I get past the rejection? -- MORE THAN A CAREGIVER

DEAR MORE: Unless your friend has made a point of remembering you in his will, I hope you realize that when he passes, all you will receive from his family is a wave goodbye -- if that. The disrespect and lack of empathy "the matriarch" has shown you is shameful. That your friend/patient lacks the backbone to insist you be included suggests to me that your relationship appears to be a one-way street.

The way to get past this would be to make sure you are saving enough money (if you haven't) to tide you over until you find a job after his death. In the meantime, allow yourself enough personal time to cultivate relationships with people who won't ignore you during holidays. It's important that you not become more isolated and disconnected than you are. If you are religious, your own church might be a place to start.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is the biggest procrastinator I have ever known. He has piles of things lying around that need his attention and projects that need to be finished but get put off day after day.

When I remind him of what needs doing, he accuses me of nagging, so I have stopped reminding him. But it's boiling inside of me. It has gotten worse since he retired. Also, there are the hours he spends on his iPad.

If I handled things the way he does, nothing would get done, and our house would be a pig pen. I'm frustrated and need some advice on how to handle this without being a nag. I'm ready to go on strike. -- BEYOND FRUSTRATED IN OHIO

DEAR BEYOND: What's going on is unfair to you. If this is your husband's pattern, then he needs to know how angry you are about it. That isn't nagging; it is venting. Because he has gotten worse since his retirement, he may need to be seen by his doctor to ensure it isn't caused by a health problem.

I'm sorry you didn't mention what kinds of projects your husband is procrastinating about finishing. If they are minor repairs or handyman things, consider hiring someone to finish them. If they are financial, your accountant may be able to recommend someone.

Please consider what I am telling you. The only thing you shouldn't do is continue to tolerate this.

DEAR ABBY: I am a gay male. My sister, "Cate," is in what appears outwardly to be a committed relationship, but I know for a fact it isn't.

Her boyfriend, "Darren," invited me out for coffee a few days ago, and while he was discussing some of their relationship troubles, he told me he isn't sure that he's straight. He then proceeded to say he could easily see himself dating me!

I don't know what to do. I want to tell Cate, but I don't want to wreck her relationship. The other problem is, I also feel attracted to Darren, but it's not my place to pursue him. Any advice would be helpful. -- IN A BIND IN NEW YORK

DEAR IN A BIND: Your sister's relationship with Darren was "wrecked" the minute he told you that he isn't certain he's heterosexual and that he has his eye on you. If you and Darren were to become involved, it would likely devastate Cate, and I don't recommend it. Talk to Darren and tell him it's time to come clean with Cate. Then, if he doesn't, a loyal sibling should tell his sister before she wastes any more time on this boyfriend.

DEAR ABBY: I supervise someone I'll call "Kevin." He is lazy, and his work is so sloppy he should have been fired long ago. I and many supervisors before me have tried to no avail to motivate him, but we work in government, and he knows how to game the system. Our unit's reputation has suffered because of Kevin. For reasons beyond my control, we are stuck working together.

I supervise another person who is retiring soon, and I would like to help plan his retirement party. Kevin is also nearing retirement age. When Kevin finally leaves, am I obligated to plan a retirement party for him? He has never lifted a finger for anybody, and he sure doesn't deserve a party honoring the fact that he sat in a chair for 30 years. Or should I not help plan either party? -- STUCK SUPERVISOR

DEAR STUCK: Unless party-planning is part of your job designation, you are not obligated to arrange one for Kevin if you prefer not to, considering what a problem he has been for your unit. A party later celebrating the welcoming of "new staff" would probably go over better.

DEAR ABBY: I've been invited to go away with my son's family, and I don't want to do it. I have done it before, and it never goes well because of my son's mouth. I think he may have an anger issue, but if I say anything to him about it, he gets angry. I can't tolerate his language, and he says he can't change.

I want to be with my grandchildren, but his mouth and his attitude make me timid and uncomfortable, and I end up wishing I were home. I told him I was sorry I couldn't go and why. He says his family is happy, and I should just let it roll off, but I feel I have a right not to be subjected to a week of constant cursing. It feels abusive. Am I wrong? -- WISHING IT WERE DIFFERENT

DEAR WISHING: If the bad language is directed at another person, it is abusive and disrespectful. If it is used as an adjective, it is "merely" grating and unpleasant. A vacation is supposed to be a time to relax and enjoy oneself. Because you feel your son's language is so bad it would prevent you from doing that, you should not subject yourself to it.

DEAR ABBY: My wife, "Libby's," dearest friend of 20 years, "Melanie," has changed her lifestyle. Melanie and her husband have become "swingers." Now when Libby meets her socially, all Melanie can talk about is her new lifestyle -- complete with photos. Plus Melanie is very interested in meeting men when they are out together.

I don't like what she and her husband are doing, and I don't like my wife being exposed to swinging and meeting men. Libby says Melanie is an old friend, and she doesn't want to end their relationship. She says I have nothing to worry about because she isn't interested in this lifestyle. The problem is, I still worry, and I'm not comfortable with this. Could you please advise me on what I should do? -- FAITHFUL IN DALLAS

DEAR FAITHFUL: It would be interesting to know why Melanie brings Libby along when she's looking for men. (Is she using your wife as "bait"?) It would also be interesting to know how Libby feels when men show an interest in her friend and she is sitting there like a third wheel.

Of course, the bottom line is how this makes you feel, and do you trust your wife. If this is a regular thing, I can see how it would make you uncomfortable. Consider suggesting to Libby that rather than go out for the evening with Melanie, they meet for lunch instead.

DEAR ABBY: My sister recently confided that her husband has about $100,000 in credit card debt. "Sis" bailed him out five years ago to the tune of $400,000, just ahead of bankruptcy. Why she didn't divorce him then, I don't know. She says she doesn't love or respect him, and he does nothing for their home or for her. On top of that, he's emotionally abusive.

My sister has worked hard and lived frugally so she could retire. She paid off both mortgages on their house. In our community property state, he would get half her large retirement and half the property. I suggested she divorce him two years ago. She said she wanted to, but didn't.

I'm so mad at him I want to shame him publicly on Facebook because FB is the ONLY thing he cares about besides spending money. He portrays himself on FB as a caring, compassionate guy and a true friend. Maybe his "friends" should know the truth. What else would get through to him? He says he can build debt because she'll always pay it off. -- HAVE MY SISTER'S BACK

DEAR HAVE: I'm sorry you didn't mention why your sister has chosen to stay with someone she doesn't love or respect and who mistreats her. Please suggest to her that for her own protection she should make an appointment to talk with an accountant and an attorney to discuss what's going on before her husband's irresponsibility causes her to become indigent.

Beyond that, there is nothing you can do besides give her emotional support as you have been doing.