DEAR ABBY: Around 12 years ago, I helped out an old friend I'll call Patty by creating an author website for her. I have maintained it for her ever since. She is grateful and gives me a gift every once in a while to show her appreciation.

Over time, her requests for revisions and updates have increased to the point that I dread receiving them. I'm very busy with a business I own, and I really don't want to do this for her anymore.

The problem is, I created the website using an obscure program she has no idea how to use (she's tech-unsavvy to begin with), so if I stop, I would be leaving her high and dry. Oh, and she has no money, so I don't think hiring someone to take over would be an option. The only thing I could recommend to her is that she start making a new webpage from scratch, using a free site.

I'm dying to let this go, but I think she'll be crushed, and I hate to hurt her. Any advice? -- OVERWORKED FRIEND

DEAR OVERWORKED: Explain to your friend that you have a business to run and you will no longer be able to give her the free services you have been. Then, if you want to keep the friendship, rebuild her a website on a platform that will be easier for her -- or someone else -- to manage in the future.

DEAR ABBY: My brother-in-law has always been a bully and a chronic liar. It has torn our family apart. He'll tell one family member one thing, and the other another story for the purpose of getting them mad at each other. He is also a narcissist. Innocent people have been victimized by all of this.

Now he is moving on to the elderly neighbors and lying to them about family members. Confronting him will do no good. We have tried. How do we get him to stop the bullying and lying? His wife is no help because she has been brainwashed and can no longer think for herself. Please help. Maybe by publishing this letter it will turn on a lightbulb. -- DESPERATE IN NEW ENGLAND

DEAR DESPERATE: Because your brother-in-law is now spreading misinformation among the elderly neighbors, explain to them that he has a "personality disorder" and a problem with the truth. Then give them some examples and, with luck, you can nip this in the bud.

DEAR ABBY: I have depression and anxiety problems. My dad sometimes forgets that I have it. I tried to kill myself a couple of times. I asked him if I can have a service dog for my mental health problems. He says I can't have one. I understand his reasons, but I think it would help me. I really need help. -- GOING INSANE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR GOING INSANE: I cannot fathom how the parent of a child who has attempted to commit suicide would "forget" it. I will assume that you are under the care of a mental health professional for your depression and anxiety. If you aren't, you should be. Your father may be more open to accepting the concept of a therapy dog if he hears it from your therapist.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating my boyfriend for two years. He is 10 years older, in his mid-40s. He is wonderful, kind, smart, and treats me well. There is only one issue: He still lives with his ex-girlfriend from 10 years ago.

She and I do not get along. She infringes on my time with him -- has him run her errands, drive her around, etc. when I am at his (their) house. He also ends calls with me at night to talk with her, and his texts abruptly stop. Later I'll find out she was in his bedroom talking/venting to him about her current boyfriend or some other subject.

She recently put in an offer to buy a house that was accepted. After she moves out of the house they are renting, he plans to remain there and would like me to move in with him. Here's the catch: He says he will be going over to her (new) house to mow the lawn, rake leaves, take care of her car, etc. He says he runs these errands for her because she pays him. I have told him how much it bothers me. I feel he is placing her above me. Am I crazy for being upset over this? -- SECOND BEST IN VIRGINIA

DEAR SECOND BEST: You're not crazy. Unless your boyfriend is hard up for money, it appears there may be more to his relationship with his ex-girlfriend than he has revealed to you. If he was disconnected from her emotionally -- and possibly sexually -- he wouldn't cut your conversations short or hide the fact that he is texting you. Unless he rearranges his priorities, you should not only not move in with him, you should find a boyfriend with whom you're No. 1.

DEAR ABBY: My wife, "Riley," and I got married three months ago. I'm a corporate pilot and have been for most of our two-year relationship. Now she's telling me if I don't quit my dream job, she will leave me.

I signed a year-long contract with this company, so it will cost me well over $10,000 to get out of it early. She hates my schedule, even though I work only about 11 days a month. Riley thinks I have to be home every night, even though I warned her that because of my career, I would be gone a lot of nights. She knew what she was getting into, yet she's trying to force me into giving up this dream job or lose her. Please help. -- TORN IN THE SOUTH

DEAR TORN: Riley knew you were a pilot when she married you. You explained to her what that meant. That she would threaten to leave you because she doesn't like the responsibilities your career carries with it is immature and controlling.

If she was serious when she made the ultimatum, I think you should take her up on it. And before you marry anyone else, be sure the woman is independent. Then have premarital counseling to ensure something like this doesn't happen again.

DEAR ABBY: I was married to my husband for 29 years. We were separated off and on more than 10 of those years. We were both in other relationships but would reconnect for months and sometimes years. Then, because our lifestyles are so different, we would split up again.

I divorced him two years ago, but we see each other off and on as friends. I haven't been in a relationship since our divorce because I still love him. He couldn't stop the street life, and I got tired of living on the edge with him.

He's now in church, off drugs. He has gained back some weight and looks like the man I first fell in love with. I tell him every time I see him that I still love him, but he doesn't believe me and acts like he hates me. We have a 27-year-old daughter he loves and sees.

I think of the good times we had together day and night. I can't sleep sometimes and feel so unhappy without him. Abby, what can I do to move on? -- LONELY AND LOST IN MARYLAND

DEAR LONELY AND LOST: You may love the person your ex-husband was in the beginning, but you divorced him for good reasons. Chief among them, he became someone else because of his addiction and his choices. He may blame you for divorcing him, but if you hadn't done it, he probably would not have straightened out. Sometimes love is not enough, particularly when it's a one-way street.

It is time to quit looking backward and concentrate on your future. See your ex as little as possible, and allow yourself to grieve the lost relationship for a specific period of time. When that time period is over, concentrate on meeting new people and cultivating new interests. If necessary, talking with a therapist may be helpful, and I hope you will consider it. There is life after this, but only if you will allow it.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend of 50 years was recently diagnosed with early stages of Alzheimer's. Because her memory was beginning to slip, my husband and I moved her in with us. She pays us rent and contributes to meals.

The problem is, she has told friends that because she pays rent she shouldn't have to help around the house. My husband and I both work. It would be nice if she would cook us dinner occasionally or do the dishes. I have asked, but she always has an excuse. I don't know how to tell her we are not a bed and breakfast. She has the ability to help. Advice? -- HELPER NEEDS HELP, TOO

DEAR HELPER: I hope you realize that as your friend's dementia progresses she will no longer be able to help around the house, and it could actually be dangerous for her to cook. It would be better for all concerned if her family would start looking at dementia care facilities for her, the earlier the better so she will have time to adjust. Some of them offer graduated levels of care to meet the patient's increasing needs. Please consider it.