DEAR ABBY: The music director at our church -- I'll call her Mildred -- is an alcoholic. I realized it after I offered my home to her when she said she needed to escape from her alcoholic partner. Mildred is a nighttime drinker and imbibes until probably 2 a.m. She says she can't get to sleep until the "middle of the night."

I was married to an alcoholic for many years, yet I had no idea Mildred had a problem until she lived with me for those few weeks. She left my home giving me the various reasons why I wasn't nice enough to her and has returned to her alcoholic partner.

Should I say anything to the administrator of the church? At this point, it's my word against Mildred's, and her problem will be discovered sooner or later. Your advice? -- GETTING INVOLVED IN THE EAST

DEAR GETTING INVOLVED: If Mildred's drinking negatively affects her work, tell the administrator. If not, keep the bad tidings to yourself. However, in the future, if appropriate, be ready to share with Mildred information about support resources available to her such as AA, SMART Recovery, LifeRing and Women For Sobriety.

DEAR ABBY: What does it mean when your husband answers everything with "no"? For example, if I ask, "Are you watching 'This Old House'?" he says, "No, I'm watching 'This Old House.'" If I ask, "Do you want to eat dinner at 6?" he replies, "No, how about we eat around 6?" It's driving me nuts, and he doesn't even realize he does it. This happens almost every time I ask a question. Do you have any insight into this phenomenon? -- TALKED OUT IN TEXAS

DEAR TALKED OUT: Your husband may be joking with you or not paying close attention when you ask him a question. I assume that you have told him how much this bothers you. (If you haven't, you should.) However, if it continues, stop asking and TELL him what time dinner will be ready, and reframe the way you ask your questions. (Instead of asking if he's watching "This Old House" say, "What are you watching, Honey?")

DEAR ABBY: I could use your advice on training my husband. He refuses to enter his work travel schedule on the household calendar. He snapped at me this week when he finally revealed that he was leaving Sunday. It took three more days to get the date he was coming back. It was like pulling teeth. It left me with only two days to decide how to enjoy the time alone. I suspect that he's withholding his travel data to keep me from enjoying myself too much while he's gone.

I think it's disrespectful to keep your wife in the dark until just a day or two before you leave. I need a way to motivate my man to share his travel dates earlier. I'm at the point where I'm tempted to ignore him and his travel since he is acting more like a child than a husband. I'm not his mommy, and I need to break his mean streak. Advice? -- KEPT IN THE DARK IN LOUISIANA

DEAR KEPT: Stop putting yourself at your husband's mercy. You are both adults. If you need a break and would like to schedule appointments, see a play, visit with friends, go on a trip, whatever -- schedule it regardless of when your husband will be traveling. And enjoy yourself.

DEAR ABBY: I have worked for the same doctor for 29 years. My 30-year anniversary is approaching. People think I should be ready to retire when he does. The problem is, I live paycheck to paycheck, and there is no retirement plan. What little money I had saved went out the window when I got a divorce a few years ago.

I know I need to quit and go somewhere that offers REAL benefits, but I feel like leaving will create a huge rift. I adore the patients, and I know they will ask him what happened. I don't want to seem ungrateful.

I know it's my fault for not demanding more earlier. I get depressed when patients tell me about their retirement plans, or I hear about his. I will be working until I die. I'm afraid he will take the staff out for a nice lunch to celebrate my 30 years, and I will be so sad or bitter that I won't be able to hide it. -- LIVING PAYCHECK TO PAYCHECK

DEAR LIVING: Talk to your boss about your dilemma NOW. In light of the fact that you have worked for him for so long, perhaps he will consider instituting a retirement plan now. If he is unwilling, then it's time to look for other employment with better compensation and hope you can find a match even if it means missing the luncheon.

DEAR ABBY: Please enlighten me on etiquette. My friend and I were out to lunch. While we were sitting there, she got on Facebook and posted about it. I think it was rude of her not to ask if I minded. It's not a secret, but why put it on Facebook? I don't understand why people think they have to advertise everything they do. Do they do it because they want to feel important? -- OLD-FASHIONED WOMAN

DEAR OLD-FASHIONED: I am sure some of them do. Others may do it because they want to memorialize the occasion or think others are actually interested. If you preferred that she not do it, you should have spoken up, told her you are a private person and asked her to please not mention your name or post your image in the future.

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DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been a couple for three years. We live together and have an incredible relationship and an amazing sex life. A while ago, he was approached by a strange woman on social media. Through Hangouts he told her she was beautiful and that he was looking for the right woman to be with. Their communication lasted about a week.

It has now happened again. He handed out his phone number, and this one has sent him videos of her dancing wearing next to nothing. He tells her she has an amazing body and made comments to the effect that she must be wild in bed and he thinks only of her. When he talks to these other women, he tells them he lives alone.

When I tell him this bothers me, he doesn't get upset. He swears he has feelings for only me and no one else, and that he's just having a little fun. I want to believe him, but I feel hurt and disrespected when I read what he's saying to these women. My heart is heavy because he used to talk to me like that and no longer does. Should I be worried? -- SHARING HIM IN OHIO

DEAR SHARING HIM: You should not only be worried, you should be out of there. You may have invested three years in this person, but the sooner you divest yourself of him the better it will be for you. His actions show that his word cannot be trusted. He's not only lying to these women, he is also lying to you. Men who love and respect women do not treat them the way he is treating you.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 13-year-old girl, and I'm bisexual. Some of my closest friends know, but that's it. Mom doesn't know, and neither do my gramma or papa. I'm afraid if I tell them they'll be disappointed in their little girl. Also, I'm growing up without a father, so that may have something to do with it. I wonder if not having a male role model is why I'm driven to like girls.

It took me a while to figure out that I was bisexual. It was at the beginning of seventh grade, when people were talking about being bi. So I guess I need to find out who I am as a person.

When I told my friend I was bi and I liked her, she was shocked and surprised. I think she took it the wrong way and thought I was asking her out. That afternoon she came up to me and said, "I like you, but only as a friend. I hope this doesn't damage our friendship." For me it did, and I haven't gotten the courage to go talk to her about it again. I was only saying that to tell her how I feel, not to ask her out. -- INSECURE AND CONFUSED

DEAR INSECURE AND CONFUSED: You are right that you need to find out who you are as a person. You are very young and still discovering. People do not become gay or bisexual because of conversations they hear in the seventh grade or because their fathers are absent. Sexual orientation is simply a part of who we are.

You were clumsy about the way you "outed" yourself to your friend. Put aside your fears, talk to her again and explain that you weren't asking her out, and the feelings you were describing were not directed at her. If she's truly a friend, everything will be all right.