DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have demanding jobs neither of us is crazy about. I sell insurance; she manages a hairdressing salon for a large company. At day's end I keep the events of the day -- good or bad -- to myself. I have heard the saying "Don't bring your family problems to work, and don't bring your work problems home," so I don't carry any "baggage" home with me. If something positive happens, I may mention it.

How do I get my wife to leave her work problems at work? It's the last thing I want to hear about. If I offer an opinion or respond to her, I get criticized and accused of not appreciating how hard she works. She has actually said, "No one else in this world works as hard as I do!" I would like to have an enjoyable evening or weekend with her and not have to hear about HER work problems. -- BAGGAGE-FREE

DEAR BAGGAGE-FREE: There is another saying that may help you to be more understanding: A joy shared is twice a joy; a burden shared is half a burden. If your wife can't discuss her frustrations with you, who else can she safely confide in? A word to the wise: Women often just need someone to listen.

Because this is getting to you to the point that you would write to me about it, rather than offer suggestions or opinions, it's time you tell her exactly what you have conveyed to me. Maybe you can agree on a time when these issues can be discussed -- once you both have decompressed from your demanding jobs.

DEAR ABBY: This is my suggestion for "Unfulfilled Grandma in Minnesota" (Jan. 15), the senior citizen looking to help young children. Schools need help! Contact the local elementary school. Speak with the principal. If the administration agrees with your intentions, you may be required to pay for the background check and fingerprinting.

My story: Our youngest daughter sent me a text. She indicated my grandson's kindergarten teacher was asking for help in the computer lab. Being a retired geek, I showed up the following Thursday, working for just an hour. After three weeks the teacher asked me if I would be willing to help her in the classroom for four hours every Thursday. I agreed. It didn't take my grandson long to figure out he got faster help if he addressed me as "Mr. ----."

After three months, I told my wife it was the best four hours of my week. Without blinking an eye, she smiled and said, "You know, it's the best four hours of my week, too!" Wait? What? -- FULFILLED GRANDPA OUT WEST

DEAR GRANDPA: Thank you for writing. Other readers also suggested that volunteering at a school can be a rewarding way for seniors to put their time to good use and help children. I heard from a "camp grandma" who volunteers at a YMCA summer camp, another who is a reader for 3- and 4-year-olds at a Head Start program, a child care worker in the nursery at a church, and a man who helps to make the children of Afghan refugees feel welcome in their new country through the No One Left Behind organization. Thank you all for these important acts of service, and for sharing the information with me and my readers.

DEAR ABBY: My husband went to his 45th class reunion a state away and hooked up with a classmate. Over the next few months it went from talking and texting to her sending him nude pictures of herself.

I found her emails professing her love to him. When I asked him, he swore nothing happened between them during the two weeks he was there other than a lunch date. After further investigation, I have discovered they had more than 30 hours of phone conversations, exchanged 4,000-plus texts and who knows the number of emails. Not only that, he bought another phone so I could no longer see the interactions on our shared cell account.

He finally admitted they did have a sexual encounter. He has now agreed to end all contact with her and work on our marriage. He has apologized, but I'm struggling to believe him because every time I found damning evidence, he would make up another excuse or blame it all on her. However, he never told her to stop or blocked her.

Is it time to cut my losses, or should I wait to see if he does this again? Why do people think having affairs is a good thing? -- CONFUSED IN MONTANA

DEAR CONFUSED: People who think an affair is a good thing for a marriage are deluding themselves. An affair only adds to the problems the couple was trying to ignore.

It's time for you and your husband to make an appointment with a licensed marriage and family therapist. Marriages can survive infidelity, but it takes time, full disclosure and hard work to rebuild trust. It will happen more quickly with professional help. If it doesn't work, THEN may be the time to "cut your losses." Only you can decide whether your marriage has been irretrievably broken.

DEAR ABBY: I was diagnosed with cancer two years ago. I had surgery and radiation treatment, and although my recovery was slow, I am doing well now.

About a year ago, a co-worker was diagnosed with breast cancer. Our other co-workers raised a large sum of money for her to be used at a spa. They have also offered her emotional support via phone calls, texts, visits and cards. While I don't begrudge her the gifts and support, I'm very hurt that all I received was a handful of cards, an occasional phone call or text and one visit from one person. Only one of my co-workers stuck by me through everything.

I see these people all the time, and I'm having a hard time with my hurt feelings. Any thoughts on how I can move on? As a sidebar, these people are always the first ones to ask me for help and support at work. -- HURT IN THE EAST

DEAR HURT: There is nothing to be gained by nursing this disappointment. You and this woman are different people and likely have different relationships with these co-workers. If you don't want to help the people you feel gave you short shrift by comparison, you are free not to. But if you intend to continue working at the place you now do, recognize that it is time to put this behind you and move forward.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is more interested in hanging out with his friends than caring about our 11-year-old daughter who has Asperger's syndrome. She's a great kid and smart, but she has challenges and needs help. It falls to me to do everything with and for her.

I need him to participate more where she's concerned, but he loses patience with her and with me. He resents having to pay for therapy and music lessons for her (she loves music), but he had no hesitation about buying himself an expensive sports car -- not for us but for him. He's actually going away for a weekend with his buddies!

I've thought about marriage counseling, but he isn't interested. I feel overwhelmed and very alone. Please help. -- LIKE A SINGLE MOM IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR LIKE A SINGLE MOM: I'll try. Forgive my sarcasm, but it appears you married a real "winner" -- selfish and lacking the compassion and maturity to deal with the challenges your family is facing. Because your husband is unwilling to go with you for marriage counseling, you would benefit from talking to a licensed therapist on your own. When you do, it may give you a broader perspective on what your options are.

DEAR ABBY: Eight years ago, my mother, then age 86, came to live with me. My life has changed substantially in the last two years, and I need to move to another state. My husband already lives there, and I want to be with him. My mother's anxieties and fears are what's holding me back.

I have told her she can live with us there, or at a brand-new assisted living facility that's about to open in the town. Alternatively, she could move back to our hometown where my retired sister lives and stay in an assisted living facility there. Her remaining in this city is not an option because I'm the only person she knows here, and it's eight hours from where I will be.

Conversations with her on this subject are difficult as she prefers to ignore them, choosing only to consider her own needs. Her overall health is manageable, and she's doing well cognitively. She has not been hospitalized in two years. What do I do? -- TAKING CARE IN FLORIDA

DEAR TAKING CARE: Continue moving forward with your plans to relocate to be with your husband. Tell your mother you are giving her the choice of whether to reside with you or near your sister, but make clear she must make up her mind because you need to know whether you will have to accommodate her in your new home. Give her a deadline to let you know her preference, but if she refuses, make sure she understands that by default she'll be living near your sister.

DEAR ABBY: My ex and I went to my senior prom. I paid for everything, from the tickets down to his pocket square. It has been two years since the prom and one year since we broke up.

While packing away my prom dress, I realized how great it would be to have the bow tie and pocket square for future wearers as well as for sentimental value. I realize he may have gotten rid of them by now, but would it be wrong to ask for them if he still has them? -- LOOKING BACK AND AHEAD

DEAR LOOKING: Wrong? No. Fruitless? Probably.