DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Joe," and I have been married 45 years, and he drives me nuts! I have asked him countless times to use better table manners, speak proper English and treat others with respect. I'm not asking for perfection. I know I'm not perfect, but if someone pointed out something I was doing incorrectly or that embarrassed someone, I'd change what I was doing.
Besides asking nicely, which I always do as to not belittle Joe, what can I do? It's hard to ignore! -- NOTHING CHANGES IN NEW YORK
DEAR NOTHING: After 45 years you should have come to the realization that you cannot change another person. For the sake of your sanity, learn to change the way you react to your husband's poor table manners and bad English. Because he's a sloppy eater, consider eating with him less often. Because his grammar isn't up to par, try to remember that you married him this way and he managed to get the words "I do" out well enough to satisfy the officiant.
As to his disrespect for other people, the next time it happens, don't ask him to cut it out, TELL him!