DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "Gabriel," has a large network of friends who have known each other for a long time. We get together as a group a couple of times a month for birthdays, sports events, etc. Whenever we do, the men veer away into their own world of conversation, while we women are left to talk to each other and eat dips.

Honestly, I dread it. These women are generally petty, hypersensitive and hard to talk to about anything of substance. We share no common interests in our jobs, musical tastes, television viewing, etc.

I don't want to skip the outings altogether because I have become good friends with the guys, and some of them will be in our wedding. But if I leave the women's table and join the men, I'm afraid I'll send a message that I'm clinging to Gabriel. That's not the case. It's that I prefer the men's conversation to what the women discuss.

Is there a solution? Must I learn to deal with what these women talk about? Can I join the men without the women thinking I'm a clingy fiancee? I would like to enjoy myself at these parties, even if it means breaking the social norm. -- BORED IN BUFFALO

DEAR BORED: Discuss this with Gabriel to see what advice he has to offer. I see no reason why you couldn't join the men. However, you should make a point of spending some time with the women so they won't get the impression that you are snubbing them.

DEAR ABBY: We live in an area where rent is very high and buying is out of the question. The nearby lower-priced areas have terrible schools and aren't safe. Because we have a small child, these are real concerns.

We have an opportunity to move to another state where costs are much lower. We could buy a nice home, the schools are excellent, and I could still maintain my same job and salary. The problem is, it would mean moving away from my family.

I want to give my daughter the chance to grow up in circumstances where we aren't constantly worried about not building home equity or saving toward retirement. But I worry that taking her away from her extended family will be rough.

My husband's relatives live all over the world. He has been in so many countries and states that he's used to not having family around. He wants us to move so we can buy a house and save for retirement. What's your advice? -- RACHEL IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR RACHEL: You have given solid reasons for making the move. Chief among them is that your child will have a brighter future if she grows up in a safe environment and gets the best education possible, plus there will be less worry about all of you being safe. It is equally important for you and your husband to be able to accumulate enough in savings that your retirement years will be comfortable.

Listen to your husband because you have married a smart man. I know family is important, but your daughter already knows who they are. You may be able to visit with them in person or stay in touch via video-chatting. This is the way many families maintain close ties, and I hope you will consider it.

DEAR ABBY: This isn't a dog question but a romance one. I think my wife would rather I sleep on the dog bed and the dog sleep with her. Every morning she quietly slides out of bed to pet the dog instead of rolling over and connecting with me. At night they go to bed at the same time. The dog also gets most of her attention during the day.

We have been married for 20 years and have three kids. I'm tired of living in a marriage without romance. I can't remember the last time my wife initiated intimacy. We have sex maybe twice a month. While I don't want a divorce -- yet -- I'm almost at that point. Being a man, abstinence is not part of my DNA.

I love my wife. She's a great mom and spouse in most ways, except when it comes to affection and intimacy. I have talked with her about this, but nothing changes. Honestly, I think she'd be OK if we never had sex again. I know there's a saying that "If you are not having sex with your husband, someone else is," and I'm beginning to think that is my future. Please advise because I am running on empty. -- CLOSE TO DOGGONE DONE

DEAR CLOSE TO DOGGONE DONE: Talk to your wife again and ask her why she avoids having relations with you. Is it something you are (or aren't) doing? Has sex become physically painful for her? Could she be approaching menopause, with the inevitable hormonal changes that accompany it?

If it's either of the latter two possibilities, she needs to talk to her doctor about possible solutions. However, if it's something else, then it's time to enlist the help of a licensed marriage and family therapist.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a student who maintains a decent GPA. However, my parents believe they have a genius in the making.

Since I started at a new school, my mother has been pressuring me more than twice as much. She no longer talks to me except to pester me about that B or C in algebra or any other class. I understand that she wants me to be smart, and I know I should be trying to live up to her expectations of a flawless, straight-A student, but I don't believe I can. Please help me. -- UNDER PRESSURE

DEAR UNDER PRESSURE: It might help if you would talk with your teachers about this, and ask if THEY think you are working up to capacity. If they feel you could be studying more effectively, they may be able to help you earn better grades.

However, if that's not the case, ask if they would speak to your mother at the next parent-teacher conference and explain to her that you are doing all you can. The kind of pressure you're getting at home may not only not help you to raise your grades, it may be counterproductive.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend who insists anywhere she is that we all have to freeze so she is comfortable. What should we do? -- SHIVERING IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR SHIVERING: Wear a jacket.

DEAR ABBY: My husband recently broke his eyeglasses. Because they couldn't be repaired locally, he sent them by mail to a company that had been referred to him. They fixed his glasses and returned them to him.

A short time later he received an email from the company "salesperson" requesting a tip! ("If you are happy with me as your salesperson and would like to give me a tip, please click on the link below.") My husband replied, "Can you please send me a receipt? I need it for my records." She replied, "How much will you tip me?" He said, "Is the only way I can get a receipt for my repairs if I tip you?" She replied, "Yes, can you give me $5?"

I have never heard of an online company soliciting tips before, let alone refusing to send a receipt unless one is given. How would you respond to this? Getting a receipt is not the important thing here; it's the solicitation that dumbfounds me! -- DUMBFOUNDED IN TINLEY PARK, ILL.

DEAR DUMBFOUNDED: Every time I think I have heard everything, a letter like yours crosses my desk. The word for what that salesperson is attempting is extortion. Your husband should contact the owner of the company that repaired his glasses, tell the person the name of the employee who is trying to extort money and the date it happened, and request the receipt. If it doesn't arrive posthaste, the company should be reported to the Better Business Bureau.

P.S. Who referred you to that company? That person should also be informed about what has been going on.

DEAR ABBY: Ever since my son was a baby (he's almost 6 now), my husband and I have printed photograph invitations for his birthday parties. We sent the invitations to everyone, including those who lived too far away to attend, so people could have a current picture of him.

After reading many of your archives, I realize this may be perceived as a bid for gifts, and I no longer wish to do it. I would still like to send out a picture card of some sort. Any ideas on how to do it without making anyone think we want gifts? -- DON'T WANT TO MAKE WAVES

DEAR DON'T: A way to do that would be to send them during the holidays when your friends and relatives are sending out cards to friends and acquaintances.

DEAR ABBY: I work the newspaper crossword puzzle every day. I came across an answer recently that stumped me. It was an "abbreviation for bowling lane." The answer was AMF. I'm asking you what it stands for because I cannot get a straight answer. What is so secretive about this logo? Please help. -- STUMPED IN TEXAS

DEAR STUMPED: The clue may have been misleading. AMF is a brand. It stands for American Machine and Foundry, which many years ago was one of the nation's largest recreational equipment companies.