DEAR ABBY: My husband recently broke his eyeglasses. Because they couldn't be repaired locally, he sent them by mail to a company that had been referred to him. They fixed his glasses and returned them to him.

A short time later he received an email from the company "salesperson" requesting a tip! ("If you are happy with me as your salesperson and would like to give me a tip, please click on the link below.") My husband replied, "Can you please send me a receipt? I need it for my records." She replied, "How much will you tip me?" He said, "Is the only way I can get a receipt for my repairs if I tip you?" She replied, "Yes, can you give me $5?"

I have never heard of an online company soliciting tips before, let alone refusing to send a receipt unless one is given. How would you respond to this? Getting a receipt is not the important thing here; it's the solicitation that dumbfounds me! -- DUMBFOUNDED IN TINLEY PARK, ILL.

DEAR DUMBFOUNDED: Every time I think I have heard everything, a letter like yours crosses my desk. The word for what that salesperson is attempting is extortion. Your husband should contact the owner of the company that repaired his glasses, tell the person the name of the employee who is trying to extort money and the date it happened, and request the receipt. If it doesn't arrive posthaste, the company should be reported to the Better Business Bureau.

P.S. Who referred you to that company? That person should also be informed about what has been going on.

DEAR ABBY: Ever since my son was a baby (he's almost 6 now), my husband and I have printed photograph invitations for his birthday parties. We sent the invitations to everyone, including those who lived too far away to attend, so people could have a current picture of him.

After reading many of your archives, I realize this may be perceived as a bid for gifts, and I no longer wish to do it. I would still like to send out a picture card of some sort. Any ideas on how to do it without making anyone think we want gifts? -- DON'T WANT TO MAKE WAVES

DEAR DON'T: A way to do that would be to send them during the holidays when your friends and relatives are sending out cards to friends and acquaintances.

DEAR ABBY: I work the newspaper crossword puzzle every day. I came across an answer recently that stumped me. It was an "abbreviation for bowling lane." The answer was AMF. I'm asking you what it stands for because I cannot get a straight answer. What is so secretive about this logo? Please help. -- STUMPED IN TEXAS

DEAR STUMPED: The clue may have been misleading. AMF is a brand. It stands for American Machine and Foundry, which many years ago was one of the nation's largest recreational equipment companies.

DEAR ABBY: I'm originally from El Salvador. I have been living in the U.S. for five years, have been studying English for four years and I have my GED.

I want to join the U.S. Marine Corps because it is my dream. I want to do it because I think that service to this country is the best thing I can do. I want to protect this country, and I want my family to be proud of me.

Here is the problem: My mom and my wife don't want me to do it because they say it is dangerous. I love them both, but I want to achieve my dream. What should I do? -- DREAMING IN HOUSTON

DEAR DREAMING: I appreciate the concern your mother and your wife feel for your safety. Because they love you, of course they worry. However, the person who must live your life is you. If joining the United States Marine Corps is your dream, then following your dream is what you should do. Now is the time to have a heart-to-heart talk with your wife because this decision will have an impact on her life as well as yours.

DEAR ABBY: I raised my children to be respectful, responsible adults who are career- and family-oriented. Both are college graduates, married and successful.

My eldest daughter recently announced that she has been "going through something" and surprised us with a tattoo on her shoulder sporting her children's names on a colorful, rather large background. I was shocked because she works at a large banking firm and was recently promoted as a senior financial investor. I'm now afraid it will impede her career advancement, and also concerned it will encourage her two young daughters to get tattoos.

I have never encouraged my children to do something like this. In fact, I did the opposite. I did not comment about hers. She has known how her dad and I have felt about this since she was a young child.

Am I overreacting? What does a mother say about something so permanent? I no longer feel I know this person I thought was "conservative." -- DISAPPOINTED IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: Yes, you are overreacting. This is not a referendum on your parenting or your daughter's character. In a situation like this, a mother should ask her daughter what "things" she has been going through, and what that tattoo means to her. The mother should also recognize that her daughter is an adult now, and her choice to apply body art is just that -- a choice. Then she should listen carefully to what her daughter has to say, so that, if necessary, she can be supportive.

DEAR ABBY: My granddaughter moved out of our home a couple of weeks ago. Do I have the right to ask for our key back since she no longer lives here and she moved in with someone I don't trust as far as I can throw him? -- TEXAS GRANNY

DEAR GRANNY: You not only have the right, but your granddaughter should have offered to return the key at the time she moved out. Don't be mean about it, just ask for the key. Or, because you don't trust the person she's now living with, have your locks changed in case he has already made a copy. It may cost you some money, but your peace of mind is worth it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I separated last year and reconciled several months later. When we decided to get back together, he broke it off with his girlfriend. A month later she contacted him to inform him that she's pregnant with his child. She's due in a few months.

My husband and I disagree about how things should be handled when the child arrives. She says I'm not allowed to come to the hospital with him and meet the baby. I say that going without me is absurd, and any child that belongs to my husband is a part of my life, too. However, he says she is in charge of the situation. I'm worried that when the baby is born I'll be at home alone with a broken heart. Where should I draw the line with my husband? -- WORRIED WIFE IN THE SOUTH

DEAR WORRIED WIFE: Forgive me if this seems cynical, but is your husband absolutely sure that the baby is his? And, if it is, to what extent does he plan to be involved in the child's life? If he participates in raising him/her, then you are right, his child will become a part of your life. If he decides to do no more than write support checks, the impact on you will be much less.

Frankly, I don't blame you for feeling worried. If a paternity test hasn't proved he's the father of the baby, he should discuss this with a lawyer to insist there be one.

DEAR ABBY: When I was 19, I lost custody of my three children to the state. They were adopted out, and I have had no contact since. Over the years I tried to find them without success. Recently, I found their names and addresses using ancestry.com to search their birth records. My son, the oldest, is 18 now, but his sisters are only 15 and 16.

I want to write a letter to the adoptive mother, let her know my side of the story and offer to open a line of communication for her and the kids. Would that be selfish? What's the right thing to do here?

I was very young and stupid when I lost my children. I'm now in my 30s and much wiser. I have lived with this heartbreak for 15 years. I don't want to disrupt their lives, but I do want them to have my contact information if they would like to have it. I know this situation is delicate. I desperately want to avoid doing the wrong thing. Please advise. -- HEARTBROKEN IN FLORIDA

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Your instincts are on target. The best way to accomplish what you have in mind would be to write to the adoptive mother and allow her to decide what to do with the information you give her. Most adopted children at some point want to know who their birth parents were, if only so they can get a complete medical history.