DEAR ABBY: When I first started dating my boyfriend seven years ago, I told him that I wanted to someday adopt a child. He said he would like his own children first, but adoption would be "cool."
We now have two children, 5 and 3, and I'm ready to adopt. We're financially able to support another child, and we both have great careers.
When I recently mentioned adoption to him, he said he has changed his mind and doesn't want to adopt. He says because we have our own children, he wouldn't want the adopted baby to potentially feel like the "odd one out."
Is this something to end an otherwise happy marriage over? Or should I give it one more shot and hope maybe he'll want to adopt? I have wanted to do this since I was a little girl, and it is important to me. -- PRO-ADOPTION IN OHIO
DEAR PRO-ADOPTION: You and your husband may need professional mediation to reach an agreement that will work for both of you. Bringing a child who needs a loving family into your home can be managed if everyone is on the same page with it -- including your biological children.
Your husband may not want the responsibility of another child because he has experienced parenthood twice and knows how much is involved in raising them, but the reason he gave doesn't strike me as valid.
That said, leaving your husband would be no guarantee that you would be in a position to adopt a child alone. There may be other options for you if you want to help children waiting for adoption -- including fostering, mentoring or volunteering with the Big Brothers Big Sisters program.