DEAR ABBY: I am writing about your Keepers booklet, the collection of your most popular essays, poems and letters. I would like to purchase a copy, but first, I have a question. Is there a particular favorite of yours in there? -- BIG FAN IN FORT WAYNE, IND.

DEAR FAN: My Keepers booklet contains 72 column items that readers have told me they had read and reread until they were yellowed with age and falling apart. This booklet was created because of the high volume of requests from my readers for a collection of these items in one easy-to-use booklet. The subjects are diverse, covering a variety of topics, including parenting, children, aging, animals, forgiveness, etc. One poem in particular has always resonated with me. It is titled "The Time Is Now," and I find its message both poignant and meaningful. I hope you will agree.

THE TIME IS NOW (Author Unknown)

If you are ever going to love me,

Love me now, while I can know

The sweet and tender feelings

Which from true affection flow.

Love me now

While I am living.

Do not wait until I'm gone

And then have it chiseled in marble,

Sweet words on ice-cold stone.

If you have tender thoughts of me,

Please tell me now.

If you wait until I am sleeping,

Never to awaken,

There will be death between us

And I won't hear you then.

So, if you love me, even a little bit,

Let me know it while I am living

So I can treasure it.

Filled with clever observations, my Keepers booklet is both witty and philosophical. It can be ordered by sending your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to Dear Abby Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. You will find it to be a quick and easy read, as well as an inexpensive gift for newly married couples, pet lovers, new parents, and anyone who is grieving the loss of a friend or loved one or recovering from an illness.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 40 years, are professionals and work together. He is cynical, sarcastic, resentful, dismissive and insulting. What should I do? -- AT WIT'S END IN OREGON

DEAR A.W.E.: And you are only writing to me about this now? Having tolerated this kind of ill treatment for 40 years, I think the time has come to tune him out, don't you? Because your relationship may suffer from too much "togetherness," schedule time away from him -- and the business -- and do something pleasurable on your own whenever you can. And suggest he do the same because he may need a change of pace, too.

DEAR ABBY: I'm recently married, and in my opinion, my wife has too many pets -- seven inside dogs. She also feeds the neighborhood cats, so at any given time of day, there are 10 to 18 cats in our front yard.

The dogs inside have no boundaries. They have taken over the main living space. The family room sofas are filthy and destroyed, so we can't use that space either, and it's a total eyesore. The carpet is gone, and there is dirt and dog hair everywhere.

I'm at my wits' end. I feel I have no say in this matter, and I'm constantly stressed over these living conditions. I hate going home. I have dogs with me when I eat, sleep and make love. I don't know how to approach her on this when she sees nothing wrong with it. All she sees is their cuteness. -- LIVING LIKE AN ANIMAL IN PHOENIX

DEAR LIVING: Didn't you know about your wife's love of animals while you were engaged? Explain to her that when you married her, you didn't realize you would be just another occupant in her doghouse. The living conditions you describe are not only stressful, but could also be considered a health hazard.

Contact the city or county and find out whether there are restrictions on the number of animals that homeowners are allowed to keep on their property. (I hope they have all been spayed or neutered!)

As a partner in this marriage, your wishes should be taken into consideration and a compromise worked out. I, too, am concerned about her feeding the ever-increasing number of neighborhood cats, some of which may carry diseases. One problem with leaving food out for strays is it can attract other "critters," which could endanger the cats she is trying to help.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a gay man. My sister and I are best friends. I love her dearly. Long story short, she has now taken her religious beliefs much more seriously (Christianity).

She's married, with three wonderful children (6, 4 and 2 years old) who my partner and I adore. They attend church every weekend, rehearse Bible verses with their children every night and are very active in their community.

My partner and I visit as often as we can to spend time with her and the kids. They live 200 miles away, and the drive is a long one, so we stay overnight. On our last visit, she pulled me aside and expressed how uncomfortable she and her husband have been feeling with the sleeping arrangement. They don't agree with us sleeping in the same room because we are "not married."

I know it's more than that -- it is because we are not a straight couple. They said they prefer we sleep in different rooms when we visit them. My partner and I feel devastated, sad and obviously blindsided. We don't know what to do. Can you help? -- SECOND-CLASS CITIZEN

DEAR SECOND CLASS: From your description, it's unlikely that your sister and her husband will become more accepting than they are. As I see it, you have no choice but to "turn the other cheek" and spend your nights in a nearby hotel or motel. That may be the sacrifice you have to make to maintain your close relationship with the kids. If you and your partner eventually decide to marry, do not be surprised if it does not change the situation.

DEAR ABBY: I am in my 30s and correspond with a pen pal. She is over 65 and lives several states away. We have never met in person. We have been writing each other for seven years. Recently, she has been having memory problems. She has indicated that she's done testing and been to doctor's appointments for the issue.

Her letters are becoming confusing as she's repeating herself from one letter to the next, telling me things she's already told me. Also, more concerning is that she often accuses me (meanly and out of her normal kind character) of not responding to her letters and saying I mustn't want to be her pen pal anymore. Abby, I put lots of thought into the letters I send, and they are many pages long.

I have now taken to photocopying my letters or typing them and saving the file so if she says she's missing a letter from me, I can simply mail a second copy to her. This clears up the physical issue of repeat sending, but honestly, mentally and emotionally, I'm beginning to get burned out. I feel bad for thinking this way because I'm compassionate and empathetic.

Losing one's memory has to be scary, and I have enjoyed writing her for so long and wouldn't want to abandon her. Also, I wonder if her writing to me is a good activity for her, given her ailment. Truthfully, though, I'm starting to feel hurt and abused. Can you advise? -- NEEDING A BREAK IN ILLINOIS

DEAR NEEDING: It is very important that you remind yourself that what you are experiencing with your friend is not her fault. It is caused by her disease. Do you know if she has family nearby? If so, they should be contacted and informed about what's going on.

Dementias are often progressive, and at some point, your friend may no longer be able to correspond with you. My thought would be that you continue to write to her, but make your letters shorter and less frequent, and do not personalize what's going on.

DEAR ABBY: I have a grandson who is turning 3. My son's fiancee, "Tina," watches him frequently while my daughter, "Lila," works. On several occasions, Tina has done things I don't agree with, but I have kept my peace. However, today Lila called me, extremely upset.

Apparently, while Tina was watching my grandson, she had another little boy there who is the same age as my grandson. She had taken it upon herself to potty train the boys, although nobody asked her to, and offered them ice cream if they used the potty. The other boy used it and was given ice cream. My grandson refused and didn't get any. He cried because he had to watch the other child enjoy the treat.

I think it was cruel. Children learn at their own pace. My son is siding with his fiancee, Tina, and everyone is upset. Any advice? -- EXTREMELY UPSET GRANDMA

DEAR UPSET GRANDMA: If she hasn't said it already, your daughter should politely make it clear to Tina that she prefers to toilet train her child without outside help. If Tina gives her an argument, Lila should make other arrangements for child care. And you should stand back and let them settle it between themselves.