DEAR ABBY: I know a young newlywed couple who just had their first baby. The baby is weeks old and isn't crawling yet. My concern is that they have a box turtle for a pet in their small apartment. They've had the turtle for probably a year and, while it has a cage, they often let it loose in the kitchen. I don't know if it has reign over other parts of the home.

This turtle is at least 8 inches across its shell, and its head is more than an inch long with a half-inch bite. The baby will be crawling this year. I feel the turtle is a threat, and the baby will no doubt be attracted to it and likely try to crawl over and touch it. The turtle's bites are notoriously sharp and likely contaminated, and I'm concerned about the baby losing a finger. Is this a reasonable concern? -- PROTECTOR IN NEVADA

DEAR PROTECTOR: Yes, it is. There is more than one reason for not exposing an infant or toddler (or anyone with a weakened immune system) to a turtle. The risk of a bite isn't the major one. The problem is, turtles (among other reptiles) carry salmonella bacteria that can infect the intestinal tract and cause nausea, stomach pain, diarrhea and sickness for as long as a week.

Because young children -- whose immune systems are not fully developed -- are at increased risk for salmonella infection, the Centers for Disease Control has recommended reptiles (including turtles) not be kept in preschools and homes with day-care centers if the children are under the age of 5. This is why the turtle should not be let loose in the kitchen where food is prepared or any area in which a baby will be crawling.

While most box turtles will not bite a human, they don't make good pets for young children because they don't like being handled. Share this information with the couple, but ultimately, the decision about whether to keep the "pet" or not is theirs.

DEAR ABBY: I loaned my granddaughter my car because she got a job and didn't have convenient transportation. After she'd had it for two months, I told her she needed to get the oil changed. She became very disrespectful and said I could have the car back because she didn't have the money to pay for it. She got even angrier when I said she should return it with a full tank of gas since that's how she took it.

What is wrong with her mentality? She feels I screwed her over instead of being grateful for all the time she had it?! I don't even know how to respond to her. What would you do? -- SHOCKED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR SHOCKED: Your granddaughter's "mentality" is one of entitlement. Having been given the car, she expected you to maintain it for her. That you told her if she returned the car the tank should be full was something she wasn't expecting to hear because -- forgive me for repeating this -- she felt entitled to use it without assuming responsibility for it. What I would do would be to "allow" her to learn to be responsible on her own and curtail your generous impulses where she is concerned.

DEAR ABBY: How do you break up with a friend? "Jenny" and I have known each other since high school, more than 30 years. Over the years we've both moved far apart and see each other every couple of years. We were each other's bridesmaids, supported each other as our parents passed away and celebrated graduations and wedding anniversaries.

I no longer enjoy her company the way I did, and I sense that she doesn't enjoy mine either. During our last visit we had a significant disagreement, after which she didn't apologize. Since then she has emailed and texted me frequently, saying how much she enjoyed the trip and values our friendship. I don't know if she is trying to make amends.

Relatives who know of our long relationship say I shouldn't let the friendship go. But I see no reason to stay in the friendship having been treated poorly. How do I convey to Jenny that our friendship has run its course? Do I drop her cold turkey and not send any more of the usual greeting cards? Or should I send cards but no gift? Do I not answer the phone when she calls, or answer but not engage enthusiastically in the conversation? -- WANTS OUT OF THE FRIENDSHIP

DEAR WANTS OUT: Feeling as you do, you have two choices. Distance yourself little by little, stop sending gifts and be "too busy" to talk when she calls. Or, simply level with Jenny and tell her that the disagreement you had during your last visit was hurtful, and in spite of the fact that you have known each other for three decades, you feel your friendship has run its course. Then, if she apologizes, forgive her and move on.

DEAR ABBY: I am one of two housekeepers at a very nice (not cheap) bed and breakfast. In every room, suite and cottage, the owner puts an envelope that's pre-addressed to "Housekeeping. Thank you." B&B guests put money in these envelopes assuming we will receive it. However, the owner goes into the rooms before we do, takes the money and keeps it. He calls it his "play" money.

I feel it's dishonest. Is it even legal? I'm afraid if I confront the owner, I'll lose my job. If the guests knew who really was getting the tips they leave, they might not be so generous. Should I just keep quiet? -- WHO'S REALLY CLEANING UP IN VIRGINIA

DEAR WHO'S: What your employer is doing may not be illegal, but it is definitely unethical. If you confront him, you have nothing to gain and something to lose. Check with your state labor department wage and hour division for possible recourses.

It's time you and the other housekeeper start looking for a job at another establishment -- or even open a cleaning business of your own. Good housekeepers are hard to find, so getting work shouldn't be too difficult. I wish you both the best of luck.

DEAR ABBY: My secretary has worked for me for six years, and I have fallen in love with her. Neither of us is married. There's a couple of problems, however.

The first is, she's half my age. The second, she's a great secretary, and I would never want to do anything to upset her. I have never said anything about how I feel, but I am fairly certain she knows.

I have never done anything as far as making advances toward her or making any type of inappropriate comments. However, I do know I am in love, and I'm finding it harder to concentrate and wonder what to do, which is why I am writing to you. Should I just leave it alone? -- DAZED AND CONFUSED

DEAR DAZED: Harassment policies in the business world have become more stringent. Conversations that could make a subordinate uncomfortable could put your own employment at risk if you are rebuffed. Because I don't know the policies in the company you work for, I'm recommending you err on the side of caution and leave it alone.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I are getting married this summer. We are both atheists here in the Bible Belt and come from religious families who will be invited to our small backyard wedding. Our families don't know that we are atheist. We won't be having any prayers or religious readings in our ceremony.

We are concerned about the reception. There is sure to be someone who expects a prayer over the meal and, if there isn't one, will speak up and do it.

I would like to address this issue ahead of time so our wishes are respected. I thought of perhaps including a little note in the invitations asking that any prayers be offered silently. Would that be rude? Do you have another suggestion to help us figure out the best way to handle this before our big day? -- RELIGIONLESS GATHERING

DEAR RELIGIONLESS: Would it be rude? Yes. Technically, the only enclosure with your invitation should be the RSVP card. Feeling as strongly as your relatives do about religion, your families could feel confused or offended. Because you know someone is likely to want to bless the food, be polite, grin and bear it, and while it's being offered, focus your thoughts on your honeymoon.

DEAR ABBY: I am considering putting aside some money for my granddaughter's college education while I am able to do so. Do I need to see a lawyer for this? I just want a simple solution and need to know the best way to do it. She is 12 and wants to go to college someday. Is setting up a private bank account just for her a good idea? I really need some help in doing it the right way. -- SUPPORTIVE GRANDMA IN ARIZONA

DEAR GRANDMA: This is a question you should direct to your financial adviser or the manager of your bank. Setting up an education savings account is an excellent idea, and you are a generous and loving grandparent to want to do it.